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Thread: Am I TS? Tough love or compassion?

  1. #126
    a beautiful metalhead JessicaM1985's Avatar
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    Well people can give me opinions all they want. It doesn't change that I'm transsexual. I've "earned" my place by dealing with those scumbags (the people that have tried tearing me down over my identity), and nothing about what they've done has changed my course any. There are only two real things that I've changed about me since being out and open about my intention to transition:
    1.) Stop taking anything and everything trans related so seriously. As in life-or-death seriously. I hated who I was becoming when I would shut people down by being a hostile pain in the rear anytime someone said something I misconstrued as offensive. More people abandoned me over this than those that left just because I told them I'm a woman.

    The single greatest thing that ever helped me change all of this was a line from a fictional show by the name of Game of Thrones; "Let me give you some advice, b***ard; never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you."
    Once I learned to fully accept within myself who I am, I learned to stop caring what other people and their opinions of me are. By embracing openness about who I am and laughing off the dumb useless garbage people will spew at you in their ignorance; I learned to use who I am as armor against their hate and stupidity. Eventually when people saw how much more comfortable I was in my own skin (metaphorically speaking of course) by living as a woman, they thought "Oh hey, maybe this is something that helps her. She's more even kilter, confident, and pleasant to be around." I stopped giving off that vibe that lent credibility to the hateful stereotype that transpeople are mentally unhinged. In fact by living by example, people around me have come to see that not all trans people are bad and that some of the things I say (like the fact that I'm actually a woman trapped in a man's body and that I'm happiest when I can alter that enough to stop looking like a dude) might actually be true. Does the sun shine out of my every orifice? No. (if it did, do they make burn cream for those areas?)
    I'm still grouchy in the morning, I still get mad over dumb things, I have massive procrastination issues, and maybe one of these days I'll remember to stop drinking out of the milk jug and exemplify more "lady-like" manners. But my personality and confidence has improved ten fold and it gets further tempered by all those hateful attacks that happen semi-frequently.

    2.) Mixing blue eyeshadow with red lipstick is the dumbest cosmetic idea I could have thought of doing and I still wake up in night sweats wondering what on Earth I was thinking trying that look out, and in public no less.
    Last edited by JessicaM1985; 03-17-2013 at 02:19 AM.
    "To deny our impulses, is to deny the very thing that makes us human...." - Mouse from The Matrix
    Love me or hate me, I will always be myself.

    I'm just the kind of gal that likes death metal, beer, and "dad" jokes. Oh and I build computers and play PC games.

  2. #127
    Rotten 80's child Nicole Erin's Avatar
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    Jessica - during the 80's, the blue eyeshadow and red lipstick was a look

    About wearing as an armor - yeah that is true. Treat something like a secret and people will try to make you ashamed.
    That is the reason some people hate "gay pride" is cause the gay folk have taken away the one weapon that the bigots had.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  3. #128
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Jessica I agree all the way I never let the haters get me down.If they don't like me so be it as long as I'm happy with myself thats all that matters.
    I try to be kind and helpful to everyone even if they are dumb as a mud fence.LOL
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.
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  4. #129
    a beautiful metalhead JessicaM1985's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Jessica I agree all the way I never let the haters get me down.If they don't like me so be it as long as I'm happy with myself thats all that matters.
    I try to be kind and helpful to everyone even if they are dumb as a mud fence.LOL
    That's not nice Tracii. Mud Fences actually serve a purpose and shouldn't be insulted like that.

    Haters don't bother me nearly as much as they used to. Granted I'm not too fond of being told to kill myself, but I'm sure that as shocked as I was to hear that, there are 100000000000000 more people lined up to say something even more hurtful. Meh, whatever helps them sleep at night. I have other cares and worries in life to deal with.
    "To deny our impulses, is to deny the very thing that makes us human...." - Mouse from The Matrix
    Love me or hate me, I will always be myself.

    I'm just the kind of gal that likes death metal, beer, and "dad" jokes. Oh and I build computers and play PC games.

  5. #130
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    There aren't even close to ten trillion people, thank goodness! I'm sure you will find more good people in the world than bad.

  6. #131
    a beautiful metalhead JessicaM1985's Avatar
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    Oh. Well I guess my zero key was stuck. :P
    Still the point stands. There are good people in the world, there are bad people in the world, and then there's everyone else who falls somewhere in between. I've had good people treat me horribly and terrible people display brief moments of altruism towards me, so even the regular notions of good/bad do not fully apply. People are unpredictable and as such, life is unpredictable. It is my hope that more people treat me kindly than those that would treat me with hate and that is about the best I can really hope for each morning I awaken.
    "To deny our impulses, is to deny the very thing that makes us human...." - Mouse from The Matrix
    Love me or hate me, I will always be myself.

    I'm just the kind of gal that likes death metal, beer, and "dad" jokes. Oh and I build computers and play PC games.

  7. #132
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    What its like...everlast..

    "I've seen a rich man beg
    I've seen a good man sin
    I've seen a tough man cry
    I've seen a loser win
    And a sad man grin
    I heard an honest man lie
    I've seen the good side of bad
    And the down side of up
    And everything between
    I licked the silver spoon...............

    .......You know where it ends
    Yo, it usually depends on where you start"

  8. #133
    Amazing Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicole Erin View Post
    Jessica - during the 80's, the blue eyeshadow and red lipstick was a look.
    Or maybe it went often with pink lipstick. I can't remember.

    Worse still than the blue eyeshadow, the look went with stiletto high heels and 'designer' jeans, ones tailored to be slim and form fitting. I hated the jeans replacing skirts among high schoolers, but I was impressed with the blue eyeshadow, though eventually I was persuaded not to wear it any more, after a fashion conscious friend told me it was a hard colour to wear successfully, and even wearing it successfully, was not much of a success. I think it went best with grandmotherly eyes, especially if the grannie also wore a miniskirt which would of course not be age appropriate, (that is far too young for her). I think wearing it today would give the bad people something unpleasant to say about you, behind your back. But isn't so much of their abuse shallow anyway?
    Last edited by Beth-Lock; 03-19-2013 at 08:04 PM.

  9. #134
    Member DaniG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JessicaM1985 View Post
    2.) Mixing blue eyeshadow with red lipstick is the dumbest cosmetic idea I could have thought of doing and I still wake up in night sweats wondering what on Earth I was thinking trying that look out, and in public no less.
    I have a girlfriend who wears this look, albeit subtle. Works for her. Cutest M2F I ever met.

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