Maria,
It won't be long until you will gladly sacrifice a Fem night for a chance to visit with your children, and grandchildren.
I feel the same as you, but now the kids know to call first. "You might not like how I'm dressed!" They're grownup, I let them deal with my grownup issues, and I deal with theirs.
And yes, I'm happy to shed the pink now and drab-up (partially) for an evening with family.
Michelle
Hi Maria, I understand your feelings on this. A lot of the time, it does seem like the cards are stacked against us almost daily. But we all know that we are strong inside, we have had to be strong all of our lives, for our lives are not easy at all. Never give up the hope for another great opportunity to come by. I know it's hard, but DO NOT give up. I used to feel the same way at times but for different reasons. Many years ago, I wanted the step daughter to go away for a while to give my then wife and us some private times. It was almost like she was doing this on purpose. I would most days have to get up at 4am. I was waiting around and having hopes that she would go shopping like she did a lot of. On nights when she was going nowhere, I'd give up my internal plans and go to bed and go dead asleep. Some days I would go see my parents, then get home around 11, tired, and going to bed, wife sleeping on the couch, step daughters car gone when I would get home. I'd ask my then wife, where's the daughter? Wife would say, oh she went to her BF's house, she just called and is on her way home.
Back in those same years, I found myself laid off, well, at least I can become Tara for a while. Step daughter would never leave. The two of us sat at home together all the time. Then and it was every time, I would just take off for a few hours and would return home, the step daughter would be gone too, and would return right around the time her Mother got home. I could have won bets on this. I knew something was up. The step daughter would always return with so many shopping bags too. I would ask, where did you get the money? "Oh I had saved it" she would say. It turned out, that when I would leave, then she would go into my bedroom, which was against the rules, and help herself to some of my 401K money. So that's why she couldn't leave when I was there.
But on becoming Tara, I had another home 50 miles south where I would go for the weekends sometimes.
But Maria, just do not ever give up. Maybe go buy your children some movie tickets on a Friday night that must be redeemed at one particular time. And make sure Mother in law get her groceries on Thursday. I remember the story you told of where you were right in the middle of getting dolled up and the you mother in law called with car problems and you had to take it all off to go help your Mother in law. I feel for you though, I really do. Been there many times. But I never gave up, don't wave the white flag,ever. Nowadays it's just Snow White and me, and I can get up any day and be Tara all day long. Things and situations do not always stay the same. But when your lucky day does come, we all want to hear about it. Here's praying for you.
Tara D. Rose
PS: if we lived closer you could come and visit Tara and the 2 of us could get all dolled up and prance and dance.
Peace my friend.
Most people don't keep a 401k in the bedroom, they either invest it or put it in an IRA...unless it would fit in a piggy bank.
[SIZE="4"]Momarie[/SIZE]
oh my lord I feel your pain.
email me at scampos57@yahoo.com would love to vent to.
That's right what you say there, about "most people". I had to do it that way for I didn't want a family court snatching it from my bank account in divorce. But my ASSets may not be as big as yours, but it's all invested quite nicely for me now.Originally Posted by Momarie
Maria,
I wanted to respond to this because I can relate in a desperate way. I am new here and really appreciate this sort of forum for venting these frustrations so here goes! Lol. I have three children and all are under five years old. My wife is only accepting of my girly side 30% of the time. I have few friends and even fewer that know I am trans, my kids are always home when I get up in the morning and when I get home. My wife doesn't work and I have literally ZERO alone time. Completely NONE. One of the only places I even exist at all is the Internet. I am constantly depressed, anxious and insecure about myself. It's hard and I have no idea what I can even do! I also go to college, so two nights a week I am away from home from like 8am to 8pm so I started just wearing a tiny little bit of makeup to my classes. Which boils down to light brown eyeliner, a little powder and mascara, but I wash the mascara off as soon as I put it on which is ridiculous in and of itself but hey, it makes me feel better. One night after school my wife noticed the eyeliner and we got into a HUGE fight and almost broke up because I was wearing it to class...I love my family and I love spending time with them. I wouldn't trade them for the world but everyone needs alone time, at least just a little...I can't even poop in my house without the door flying open every few minutes! Even when it's locked! :-/ so I feel for you dear. My heart is right there with yours...xoxoxo
I have two 20-something children living with me, and I routinely dress in front of them. I figure if they don't want to see me in a dress, they can get jobs and move out.
Hey, I give them food, clothing, and a roof over their heads. That's enough. I'm not going to give them my dressing time too.
One day your kids will be gone and you will have too much time alone. One will be on each coast. You won't be able to get everyone together unless it is a crisis or a wedding. Whenever you have both of them home, have them decide the family activity for that night, time and jobs permitting. One day you will get a call. "Remember when we did ..............? It was such fun! I miss that! I hope we can all do that again!" And you will pay #@&& to get them at home together at the same time. One day you will wish for the inconvnience.
When my daughter moved out to go to colledge 3 1/2 hours away, it took me a week before I had the courage to go in her room. When I looked in, I was trashed, in tears, and I am NOT a crying type.
There is a reason they say "Absense makes the heart grow fonder."
Billie
Sigh!
Wife, 35 year old daughter and 45 son WITH wife living at home - and they stay in most nights.
Thankfully, there is the River City Gems and their socials.
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.
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