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Thread: Do Women actually like Men who Cross-Dress

  1. #51
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NurseSamGG View Post
    I have received a few PMs and other responses to what I posted earlier. Am I really that rare??
    You're not rare for being into your SO and loving the CDing. Many GGs say they do, especially when they are told at the beginning, provided they are open-minded (also youth helps) like you are. I was equally enthusiastic in the beginning. I was told from the onset as well.

    (And to be honest, it has also been my observation there is a "honeymoon stage".)

    I was saying that it is rare for a GG to go out and actively, specifically seek a relationship with a CDer, since the vast majority of GGs know very little about it until they just happen to meet their first CDer. I also made an observation that of the tens of thousands members who have joined this forum, (of which hundreds or maybe even a thousand were GGs), only just a handful of GGs joined here specifically to meet a CDer. The vast majority of the other ladies, like you, have joined because they were in a relationship and were seeking either support or more information.

    So, most GGs do fall for the guy first, and THEN they support, to various degrees of enthusiasm, the CDing. AFTER he tells them. IF they're really into him.

    Having said that, NurseSam, you may well be in the 5% give or take a few percentages, that is into alternative gender expression and sexual orientations (the LGBTQ crowd). But still, this isn't most people.
    Reine

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
    And when you pose a question and you get an answer, don't argue with the person who answers. If you don't like an answer, don't ask the question.
    I stated my opinion. Thats the purpose of this forum. YOU can call it argumentative or whatever you want.


    Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
    Your personal aversion to mannish women is your aversion.
    When did I state that I was averted to anyone?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
    There are many men out in the world who like tomboys, masculine women and yes even FtM cross dressers.
    100 percent straight men, really? (we were talking about straight women and M>F CDrs)

  3. #53
    GG Spouse of CDer Mermaid's Avatar
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    I am not necessarily straight per say...but I do enjoy it very much. I enjoyed it long before I found out about my husband.

    We are out there, you just got to look a little harder

  4. #54
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    Well, as a gg who loves crossdressers and is not in a relationship with one, I can definitely say we’re out there. But even if I’d be thrilled if I met a perfect guy who turned out to be a crossdresser, I wouldn’t seek them out in particular. There are many other things that are more important to me in a relationship. I would never mention my interest unless it came up somehow, which it almost never does. So you really never know, maybe more women are interested than you'd think, though I imagine it's still a minority.

  5. #55
    Aspiring Member tiffanynjcd24's Avatar
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    I wish I would found a girlfriend that supports me even though I am a bi crossdresser

  6. #56
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patti Remick View Post
    100 percent straight men, really? (we were talking about straight women and M>F CDrs)
    I don't know anyone 100% straight but I do know several men who love and married women who were more masculine (athletic, tomboyish and even butch). There are those out there who like that you know
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  7. #57
    Member SometimesDiana's Avatar
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    I told my last girlfriend on our second date and she got really excited and asked, "Does that mean we can go shopping?" Apparently, her previous boyfriend behaved like a small child at the mall. She had to buy him a taffy apple and sit him down at a bench so that she could shop for a purse. My current girlfriend is one of those rare women who actually prefer and seek it. Overall, I've had pretty good luck so I'm always surprised to read so many horror stories on the forum.

    A couple factors that probably help me:
    1) I'm younger and my generation is more open.
    2) I don't date very religious or conservative women.
    3) I don't hide it... that's probably the most important thing. I can't imagine any woman would be happy about discovering a lie.

  8. #58
    Just a touch of class Lynn Marie's Avatar
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    Sure looks like it may be possible to find a straight woman who will be willing to actively embrace a CD and the lifestyle, but it also looks like the chances are pretty darned slim. To so many women, our female side is really just another woman she has to compete with!

  9. #59
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn Marie View Post
    Sure looks like it may be possible to find a straight woman who will be willing to actively embrace a CD and the lifestyle, but it also looks like the chances are pretty darned slim. To so many women, our female side is really just another woman she has to compete with!
    I have to say, that when women are past middle school, they are actually nice to each other.

    Seriously, we get along, we bond, we see each other as sisters, we cooperate on stuff ... the only time that I can think of a woman competing with another woman, is if they're after the same guy. But that has never happened in my own life. I had my boyfriends and my female friends had theirs! I also do not recall being in competition with anyone for both my long-term relationships.

    So unless a wife is competing with her CD husband for the attentions of a third-party guy, I honestly can't see why she would feel as if she is in competition with her husband!
    Reine

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    I must be living in an alternate reality. Because in the world i live in people are attracted to people for a myriad of reasons.....More often than not people are attracted to each other by the chemistry of personality....So many nay sayers saying that women do not like men who are TG/cd/tv yet there are lots of Alt-couples out there who are perfectly fine with each others gender presentation.

    I would say that the more confident you are about yourself and your crossdressing the more accepting other people will be. The same idea goes for dating. If you set the impression that your damaged goods for being a CD....anyone you get involved with will not respond well.

    Stop looking and start living,
    -Donni-

  11. #61
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    There are women whose preference it is to be in sexual relationships with crossdressers and who actively seek them, but I think this is rare. Of the tens of thousands of members who have joined this site, I can only remember a handful of women who joined specifically to find partners.
    <snip>
    This is the reality we have to deal with. There simply aren't a whole lot of women who are turned on by the thought of a guy dressing, and behaving, as a woman. The numbers are bleak indeed; about 2.5% of men crossdress, and there are virtually no women out there interested in us. Don't believe me? Take a look at the personal ads. Try to find some straight women looking for crossdressers. There basically aren't any. Anywhere. I've been perusing the personal ads now for 15 years. The only ones I find are from prostitutes, dominatrixes and call girls. And if the lack of personal ads aren't indicative enough, consider this: There are NO places where crossdressers can go to specifically meet single women. None. Zero. Zip. ANywhere. There are gay clubs. There are S&M clubs. There are NO places for us. There is one 'date a crossdresser' website, inhabited almost 100% by men. I've joined; the very few female members there appear to be fake members used to get people to purchase premium memberships. I've gotten contacts from them getting me to pay for the ability to return their message, and never got a response or got one saying that they never sent me a message, the same trick that Match.com uses to get people to pay for the premium membership.
    When I was going to a marriage counselor with my wife before the divorce, the counselor occasionally had parties for her gender 'challenged' patients. The regular crowd? About 50 crossdressed/TS MtF's and maybe three or four GG's, wives of some of the crossdressers who'd stuck 'by their man' in spite of his feminine proclivities.
    Reality is that finding a woman who's into our crossdressed world is about as likely as winning the lottery. We know someone (usually on this forum) who's 'won', so the dream stays alive, but the odds simply are that most of us are going to be alone unless we develop a sudden desire to date men. And that's not likely to happen for most of us here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Flent View Post
    Well, as a gg who loves crossdressers and is not in a relationship with one, I can definitely say we're out there. But even if Id be thrilled if I met a perfect guy who turned out to be a crossdresser, I wouldn't seek them out in particular.
    Great. So how about telling all the guys here how we should go about finding all those women like you who are fine with our crossdressing and female behavior? Because if you have any idea, you can become very, very rich matching us up with a woman who's really o.k. with who and what we are! Seriously, a few thousand dollars is no obstacle, now that I've found out how virtually impossible my life has become with this problem. And I'm sure there are plenty of other men who feel the same way.
    Last edited by sometimes_miss; 03-28-2013 at 09:41 AM.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  12. #62
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    So how about telling all the guys here how we should go about finding all those women like you who are fine with our crossdressing and female behavior?
    Using the internet to find love and acceptance is likely the common denominator in this dilemma.

    Go out, be yourself, find Trans friendly places to meet people. No secret mathematical formulas involved...Just go out and meet people.

    If you find yourself saying "It wont happen" it probably wont, being how the whole idea is driven by pessimism.

    Optimism people,
    -Donni-

  13. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn Marie View Post
    To so many women, our female side is really just another woman she has to compete with!
    Im afraid thats reality Lynn.....part of it at least

    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    So unless a wife is competing with her CD husband for the attentions of a third-party guy, I honestly can't see why she would feel as if she is in competition with her husband!
    In the eyes of most spouses I believe that this is the case(competition w/ another woman). I believe they would feel inadaquit(sp?) to fullfull that position for thier husbands.

    Quote Originally Posted by DonniDarkness View Post
    Go out, be yourself, find Trans friendly places to meet people. No secret mathematical formulas involved...Just go out and meet people.
    Optimism people,
    -Donni-
    Be yourself but do it with kid gloves for the respect and courtesy for others.
    (ex. dont do it around others that are not at ease with it)

  14. #64
    Girliegirl Jillian Faith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    I'll offer my wife's comment to me some time after I came out to her, "It's a little weird but does not bother me at all." In essence, she tolerates rather than "likes" it. I would also say that my wife has embraced my cross dressing but would rather that I was not a cross dresser. Kind of reasonable, actually.
    Almost word for word from my wife

  15. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    Great. So how about telling all the guys here how we should go about finding all those women like you who are fine with our crossdressing and female behavior?
    What Purple said. A woman who has no interest might miss the clues, but if I were out with someone who made even the vaguest hints in that direction, I’d pick up on it. But the hints would have to be subtle and non-creepy.

  16. #66
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    Reality is that finding a woman who's into our crossdressed world is about as likely as winning the lottery. We know someone (usually on this forum) who's 'won', so the dream stays alive, but the odds simply are that most of us are going to be alone unless we develop a sudden desire to date men. And that's not likely to happen for most of us here.
    This is true for middle-aged folks, but I think that things are different for the 20s-30s crowd, or the people who hang out with the 20s-30s crowd.

    There have been many changes in just the last few decades: gender roles at work and the resulting shifts at home have narrowed considerably and this is reflected in the clothing styles, where there isn't as vast a difference between the male and female styles as there used to be. Go to any campus, and guys and girls are dressed pretty much the same way. Also, androgyny and gender bending have become rather fashionable at the cutting edge of society. People are aware of gender and sexual diversity. And with the popularity (or at least the awareness) of cosplay among the younger crowd, I think the idea of an young adult dressing up into character may make it easier to accept men who dress as women. It's just not as foreign a concept as it was a generation ago.

    All this to say that I don't think younger women are as concerned over the prospect that a guy might like to dress and some of them might even think it cool! But then things may change again, the closer the average younger woman comes to doubt his gender identity. I don't know.
    Reine

  17. #67
    Aspiring Member StephanieDragg's Avatar
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    I have met a few women that enjoyed me being crossdressed.. (details I could not put in forum) and have quite a few lady friends I have enjoyed shopping, dining and strictly friendship with

  18. #68
    Sapphic GeminaRenee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    So how about telling all the guys here how we should go about finding all those women like you who are fine with our crossdressing and female behavior? Because if you have any idea, you can become very, very rich matching us up with a woman who's really o.k. with who and what we are! Seriously, a few thousand dollars is no obstacle, now that I've found out how virtually impossible my life has become with this problem. And I'm sure there are plenty of other men who feel the same way.
    Sure, it's not easy. But it is possible. I've dated a couple - even married one. The online dating scene helps a bit, because one can just throw The Big Factor out there as part of the whole picture, and those who aren't interested are easily filtered out. The one I married, though - I met her cold in the world. It was love at first sight, we dated for a few months, I knew that she was bi, and one day I just worked up the courage to tell her. Sadly, it didn't work out. But the message is clear - they're out there. You just have to find them.

    To be perfectly honest with you, the negative attitude probably isn't helping you any. People often find what they are expecting, and finding an suitable partner (of any stripe) is one of those things. And you can't let the ones that don't work out get you down. Face it, it's hard to make a real connection out there - even for the 'normals,' I'm sure. You just have to keep your head up and expect the best.

    Also, don't be so quick to rule out gay bars, or meeting people in the LGBTQ community. In all honesty, I would have to imagine that there is an above average chance of a woman who enjoys CDers being something other than a 0 on the Kinsey Scale.
    "She ain't waiting 'til she gets older, her feet are makin' tracks in the winter snow.
    She got a rainbow that touches her shoulder, she be headed where the thunder rolls."

    -Van Halen, "Secrets"

  19. #69
    Junior Member tall2826's Avatar
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    I've read and heard so many stories on this and I have come to believe that women do like it but, I have never been in a relationship so what do I know.

  20. #70
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    One of the best threads I have read in a while!

    I agree with Reine on all counts. Middle aged CD's will have a harder time then the younger generations. Flent is spot on too being she is a GG, most GG's that are not into it via a fetish or alternative lifestyle most likely won't be actively seeking a CD. Think about it, if they did they would have to weed through all the CD's who are into it for those mentioned reasons which are often found in abundance on CD and alternative dating sites.

    Internet dating is a joke for the most part and in my opinion contributes to the desensitizing of society that social media is used for when it comes to interacting with people. Social media is a great idea but like most good ideas, it gets used negatively too much. I recently purged my FB friends list from 191 people to 10 removing basically everyone including all my family. Sounds harsh but I noticed that I spent way to much time on there reading all their posts, them reading mine thus phone calls and seeing people in person became less and less. Phone calls to hear a families voice is super important to me since all of them live 1200 miles away from me.

    I dated one women last year who was the only GF I told about my dressing history and at the time I wasn't even dressing. She was very interested in it however it was readily apparent it was all from a sexual nature and being that is not what is behind my reasons for CD'ing and the fact she was plain flat out psycho, that relationship didn't last long. LOL

    I'm 42, divorced and no longer actively 'looking' for a GF anywhere. Not on the internet, not at bars, not anywhere. 'Looking' specifically for a GF too often ends up with us finding the wrong woman. I am going a different route and just being me and when it's time, it's time and I will meet someone through just being somewhere and being me.

    Of course I am always accepting applications from GG's LOL!!

  21. #71
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    See, I keep getting these vague answers. The funniest one of course being, "Just go out and meet people" and ". they're out there. You just have to find them". Which tell us, basically, nothing new. Then I always get hit with the 'you have a negative attitude' stuff. No, I'm simply realistic and know the odds. I'm not delusional and think that all women will 'love me once they know me'. I've seen the impact that occurs when a woman is faced with me dressed as a woman, and basically, there's simply no way to make me look good that way. Later, learning about the sexual difficulties pretty much nails my coffin shut.
    The online dating scene helps a bit, because one can just throw The Big Factor out there as part of the whole picture, and those who aren't interested are easily filtered out.
    Yup. Plenty of fish, loveaccess dot com, and match, have 'filtered out' nearly 100% of women in the ten years I've been on their sites. The rest? One is certifiably nuts, one lives in south america, the other in Norway. Three. In ten years.
    I would have to imagine that there is an above average chance of a woman who enjoys CDers being something other than a 0 on the Kinsey Scale.
    Yes. Random surveys without 'priming the pump' with people who are already suspect to certain sexual behaviors, such as an audience at La Cage, for example, show that about 1.5% of women would be willing to date a crossdresser, before actually doing so. How she responds after the fact is often different, as many change their mind when faced with the reality. Whether that's because there are other things that turn her off at the actual experience of being with the guy while he's 'en femme', or that in itself, we don't know, because it wasn't mentioned in the studies.
    There have been many changes in just the last few decades: gender roles at work and the resulting shifts at home have narrowed considerably and this is reflected in the clothing styles, where there isn't as vast a difference between the male and female styles as there used to be. Go to any campus, and guys and girls are dressed pretty much the same way.
    Yes, but again, it becomes the question of whether she thinks it's o.k. in general for the rest of the population, or whether she'd really like to have a boyfriend in a dress, bra, panties, hose, wig, makeup, etc., perhaps even one that likes switching roles sexually with her.
    I've posted twin advertisements on dating sites, one plain, one that mentions the crossdressing at the end of the ad, otherwise identical. Know what? The one with the crossdressing mention gets ZERO replies, other than prostitutes and an occasional 'thanks but no thanks', and that's on sites with many millions of members. I got the same response back in 1999 when I ran ads on AOL in the personals section, and it seems nothing has changed. Otherwise, on the plain straight ad, I get plenty of responses. So it is the CD thing that's in the way.
    I also understand the idea that sure, if you're a guy with the physique that might make you look acceptable in woman's clothes, there may be women who find that interesting or even hot to an extent. But most of us simply look like a man in a dress, as we don't have the 'shapely' arms and legs of a female.
    .take it slow when revealing yourself. The tendency is to reveal too much too fast, and it takes time when getting to know the lady...small hints, especially during shopping sprees will open the door.
    Again, we get to the point of when to tell. Are we to be 'up front' about it? Or be deceptive (my ex wife's words) and wait? How long? I can get dates. I just can't find a woman who's into crossdressing. And it really becomes an issue when I break things off and have to make up some other reason, rather than out myself and risk other problems.
    I have the luxury of working in an environment where people bring up topics such as sexual preferences and such things all the time in conversation, and have yet to hear any positive responses from women about crossdressing, and I'm closing in on 40+ years of working in the same (primarily female employee) field.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  22. #72
    Member GinaM's Avatar
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    i think it depends on the situation. If you're out at a bar, club, or a similar place then women I would think would be all over you. It's because they prob. feel somewhat safe and are prob. VERY intrigued esp. if you present well and can truly walk in heels. I think from an S.O. angle it might be different. Many women would be turned off to this life-style for the simple fact that we're supposed to be the strong ones. I'm a close C.D. but I'm confident my wife knows. I actually want to get caught and have come close MANY MANY times. I've been trying to tell her but am still afraid. If she accepts it then I'm confident it could take our sex lives to the next level but then again it could possibly destroy the relationship.

  23. #73
    Senior Member Jenn A116's Avatar
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    It seems to me that the problem is a very broadly worded question which implies that all women think alike. I'm sure that all of us can easily think of situations where different women think differently.

    Just look at the supermarket, clothing store, etc. There are all those choices because people like different things. Same thing with relationships. We chose who we have a relationship with based on our own personal feelings. What is intriguing to one woman may be repulsive to another.

    I think there is no one right answer to this question.
    Jenn A --- nothing fancy, just me.

  24. #74
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Interestingly enough, I had a woman hit on me last night. Too bad I was not 20 years younger
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  25. #75
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    Of course there are. How hard are you willing to search is the real Q. Why do you think there are so many different Dating sites out there? Of course it's likely a very small puddle to pick from and not PlentyofFish.

    Why do you think there are almost an infinite # of car models/styles/colors/packages... to CHOOSE from? Different strokes for different folks.

    Of course ther Pontiac Aztec was never a big seller and maybe it would equate loosely with a CDer. There ARE people with Aztecs who love them, I read in a car mag letter. One person's ugly is another's idea of beauty.

    If only finding the right GG was as easy as ordering a car...

    Many Dating sites do have a long list of boxes that can be checked. At least they used to.

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