I want to tell my wife SO-BAD!!!!

[GinaM]

I'm pretty sure she knows about my CDing and within the last month she opened a few packages of mine that were delivered which included dresses and size 12 heels. I told her the dresses were for her but didn't say anything about the shoes. A while back I left some of my eye makeup out and she asked why I had her makeup out. There have been other examples as well.

A week or so after the package debacle she was saying that I should put the canoes (size 12 shoes) on and we could have fun. I just joked it off and she teased me a bit and that was the end of it. She brought it up a few times and I thought for sure we were going to have "the talk." I know she will be cool with it because I KNOW FOR A FACT SHE HAS TO KNOW. In the 9 years we've been married I've been busted with size 12 shoes at least 3 or 4 times. That said I only started buying my own things in the past 3-4 years.

What tips do you have to get this talk started and what advice do you have about everything? I've been CDing since I was about 5 or so but it's gotten more and more serious over the past year or two. She won't feel deceived because she would totally understand why I would hide this from her esp. as I'm extremely masculine and nobody that knows me or met me would ever in a million years think I was even 5% fem.

[Kelley]

It sound like your wife has already given you several opertunities to fess up. You should just pull up your big girl panties and just tell her. I think she is just waiting for you to open up.

Kelley.

[Jenara]

Yeah based on your description, she already knows. I know how nervous we all get when it's time for the talk, but coming out to my wife was the biggest relief ever. I was finally able to be me and it's made a huge difference in my mental well-being.

[bridget thronton]

Honest communication is often much better than hiding

[UNDERDRESSER]

From what you say in this thread, and what I remember from previous threads, your only problem is getting up the courage. Try to avoid overuse of "Dutch" courage, it would be as well to be lucid, and avoid misunderstandings. Spend a little while by yourself, getting it straight in your own head exactly what you want, and what that means to what you want from her. Then find a quiet time to sit down and tell her. Be honest, even if that is something you think she might not like. Do you think you might want to transition? Say so, Say so if you're just not sure. Tell her how far you think you might want to go. Tell her if there's something you want to explore. Explain, ( if it's true ) that like most MtF CDs on here, facing up to this in your own mind is causing all kinds of reassessment of things.

Don't just jump in with the whole thing, lay out the basic facts, the basic truths that you are certain of, and ask her what she wants to know. First thing that should be reinforced several times, You love her and want to have her stay. ( I think from what I've read in your posts that is a given, Yes? ) And ask her how she wants to deal with it. Say up front that you understand if she is not certain herself, and wants to think about it. Virtual certainty there, even if she says not, there is a high probability that things will settle and change in her own mind, very few people can just give accurate answer when their world view is so abruptly shifted.

On the whole, from your posts, you have the kind of wife most of us would give up a right arm for. If what you've said is accurate, she must know, and the fact she isn't screaming about it and demanding answers, is a very good sign. You are on the spot, it's your life, your decision, but from what you've told us so far, the general opinion is DO IT ALREADY!

I wouldn't be as definite about this, but you say she knows, just avoiding it is probably going to just cause problems worse than telling could, even if her response is not completely positive.

Good Luck, and for God's sake tell us what happened!

[Beverley Sims]

I think that if she jokes about it again, make light of it and take her up on her offer.
You could then tell her you like dressing up.

[Jenni Yumiko]

Think out what your going to say, expect the usual questions etc. there's a lot of good advice in my signature and some of the questions your wife may ask.

[Jenara]

It's much better to tell her first rather than have her find you dressed up first.

I specifically waited to buy clothes until I told my wife because I didn't want her to find the things first.

[Alice B]

It's already out there. Take the bubble wrap off and open up the discussion in a direct and honest fashion.

[Megan Thomas]

How about saying to her "Honey, can we talk..." and then just confide in her. Do it without distractions and with sincerity and honesty and I don't think you'll go to far wrong. Good luck!

[cross-up]

Never know until you try ....Just told mine and she has joined the site for support ....Wish you the best !

[Julogden]

Yep, it's past time to have the talk. Sounds to me like she probably knows a lot of what's going on, so you'd better sit down with her and let her know the whole story.

Carol

[Jenara]

Yes when you have the talk, offer up this site as a place she can come to with any questions she might have. My wife has said this was a great source of information for her to read and help understand all of this.

The clues are there. She HAS to know something is up when you ordered shoes in your size. Are you the same dress size as her?

[Lorileah]

From what you say in this thread, and what I remember from previous threads, your only problem is getting up the courage.

"All you need is confidence in yourself. There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid, and that kind of courage you have in plenty.”

Do we have to give you a fake medal Mr Lion?????

[Being Paige]

Put your shoes on and go have some fun as she has asked!! Don't be shy

[AllyCDTV]

If you can wait until the next time she makes a comment like she did about the shoes, you might ask her in a light-hearted way why she made that comment. Depending on her answer and tone of voice, you could have a better idea as to what she already knows and her attitude towards it and therefore how to proceed. In any case, prepare a few ways to proceed based on how she responds.

[Jenniferathome]

Gina, if you think she knows, she does. It's not fair to her to make her ask you. Just sit down after dinner and open with, "Honey, I haven''t been honest with you...." and your off to the races.

[Bethany38]

Gina allow me to echo everyone basically and say "have the talk". Just sit down with her and explain it to her. She sound as if she is going to be cool with it. No matter what honesty with our spouses is the only way to go in my opinion. I was nervous as hell when my wife and I went through the first of many talks, but in my case it turned out to be a beautiful thing. results are not the same for all but being honest is the only way to go. Once all is out in the open I am sure you will feel a great weight lifted from yourself.

[alejandra]

its good to be honest...but I will say you should be prepared for what happens if things don't go how you think they will go. hope that doesn't happen. just not every spouse is going to be accepting....wish you luck though. I would recommend you get a few more hints out before you spill the beans.

[Jenara]

It's not a matter of if you tell her it's a matter of when. Trust me...getting it off your chest is a huge burden released.

[IngeInCO]

Gina, if you think she knows, she does. It's not fair to her to make her ask you. Just sit down after dinner and open with, "Honey, I haven''t been honest with you...." and your off to the races.

That was my way, scary as hell but better in the end for us.

[sarahcrossed]

just do it girl. from what your post says. she seems to be pretty open about it. or maybee ask some questions leading to it. Like if you see a movie or tv show that includes crossdressing. it seems like she knows from what you said and has tried to open up communication with you about it with out being pushy. who knows maybee shell wanna see you in your new dresses.

[Badtranny]

stop acting like a kid hiding stuff from mom and start acting like a grown-up

[Jenni Yumiko]

stop acting like a kid hiding stuff from mom and start acting like a grown-up

LMAO! Rawrrrrrrr... No candy coating there! :-)

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Gina

Read the link in my signature on " how to tell your partner " where you will find lots of valuable information