From time to time some of us, particularly those of us who lead two very active lives, wonder about things like who's name to put on the tombstone and stuff like that.
Morbid, I know, but it does pop up on here from time to time and, let's face it, we're all going to go sometime.
To me it would seem sad if either of me were to be forgotten. Despite my disparaging comments my guyself has led a very active and productive life as a family man and as a successful individual in the game of life.
But my female self has a wide circle of friends and family that may want to remember and respect that part of me.
So what to do. I've always read the threads about such situations on here, but, frankly have never had closure on what to do.
Today a possible thought crossed my mind. It may apply only to my case, but my thought is it could definitely be more universal to many of us.
My current burial plot is far from where I live, in a town I grew up in. Although such things are subject to change, my spouse and I purchased plots there because many of our family and some of the folks we grew up with are buried there. It turns out to mean that my eventual internment will be far from anyone I really currently associate with, but it means that my tombstone is likely to have my male name on it.
But nothing stops anyone from creating a separate memorial, anything from a small plaque on a wall or purchased brick on a walkway, to an entire building, library or museum with any name or information they would like.
So there is nothing that should stop someone from having a memorial in their femme name even if their tombstone has their male one, or vice versa. If you are deep closeted It could even be set up in advance privately and not even family would need to know of its existence.
And nothing stops your family and friends from holding an additional memorial service honoring your other side.
A gloomy thought, I know, but perhaps the suggestion may provide some ideas and comfort to those who concern themselves with such things.
Hugs,
Persephone.