Originally Posted by
PaulaQ
She won't make it that long. Transition takes a really long time. She'll put up with me as long as she can - I've helped her a lot over 20 years. We have an entire house that we don't use now that she "had to have to be happy", as an example.
And I signed up for this? Are you suggesting that I'm the "bad guy" in this? I signed on for "until death do us part." However, how she feels is how she feels, and I don't blame her. I understand her reaction and I predicted it, if you will recall.
BTW, I think this is the best case scenario:
If my post about my conversation came across as "dread", please allow me to disabuse you of that notion. I dread the idea of killing myself. I dread the idea of losing my mind. (My therapist thinks the latter is unlikely.) I'm saddened that my marriage is, with a very high order of probability, unwinding. We are working together constructively to make sure my wife is prepared.
I don't believe our marriage would survive even cross dressing to the extent that many on this forum practice. Anything else I do to feminize my body will just make things exponentially worse. It is probably already too late for the marriage to survive anyway, unless I can just give this up altogether, which seems unlikely.
I do think, given her sexual preferences and upbringing, that she's handling this very well - actually better than I'd anticipated. She'd actually be pretty OK with this if this was one of my friends - just not her husband. I get that.
I get the impression that you think I'm just terribly selfish in all of this. I'm sorry you feel that way.
I am not at all sure, depending on what happens with me, that staying together is the best case scenario, at least for me - there would be sacrifices on my part. We do NOT live in an area where it is particularly easy or safe to be transgendered.
BTW, I'm going out of town tomorrow to visit my best friend. I'm going to come out to him. I'll post about how it goes.