I am sorry if my writing is not that good but here it goes
When i was 13 years old I was wearing my mom dress and makeup and i painted my toenails in gold color. (i didnt know about the lgbt lifestyle esp transgender at the time and i got exposed to transgender when i was watching jerry springer) At first when i did that for the first time it was only for a sexual thrill, but as i start to dress almost everyday i felt comfortable in my own skin. It made me felt like maybe i should been a girl instead a boy. The next thing i knew is that when my mother caught me dressing up, she beat me and told me not to do it again. The reason she did that she didnt want me to live that lifestyle. Since that beating i had suppressed those feelings of dressing as a girl or even want to be a girl for that matter and also i had to pretend to be someone else in front of everyone that knows me. To be honest as of this moment, if felt like i lie to people about me and i felt ashamed of myself because i was worrying about what would someone else thinks about me. But if i told them the truth about me, then that even though i got the secret off of my chest and feel happy, i would be disowned by my family and friends