Are you a "true" CD?

[~Joanne~]

I have a question for the community and I just want to say first, I am not trying to offend anyone, judge anyone, or anything along those lines by asking this. Please do not think that I am. We all live our lives as we see fit, we only get one short one, and nothing should make that a wrong choice.

What I would like to know is, How many of us are true, hetro, cross dressers here?

The word "true" meaning in this case, You embrace both your male and your female side as one. You want to go out, or stay in, and be a woman for a short time to then return to your drab state and continue in your male role.

I ask this because I have been reading a lot of different things here lately, mostly "I want all women's clothes in my closet and to throw away the last remaining male clothes" or "I want to get breast implants" and to me that is a sign that you may want to transition. That I think doesn't make you a cross dresser but a TS/TG but this is only my opinion.

I know, and I hate, all the different labels and such as the next person but isn't it sort of clear cut that if you alter your body , such as the implants, that your beyond just simply cross dressing at that point or is it just me?

This is just a question out of curiosity, there is no right or wrong answer, just opinions but I would like to hear a few either which way.

Have a great week everyone

[ReineD]

Joanne, the trouble with answering a question like this is, people here have different definitions of "crossdresser". We have quite a large membership and the spectrum is wide indeed, with just one word, "crossdresser" to describe it all.

Edited

I've snipped my very long and repetitive post. I've explained it better in post # 42, further down in this thread.

[BlairP]

Joanne,

Great topic. I can honestly tell you that I am a true crossdresser. I love my male self just as much as my female self. If I were female all of the time I would get bored of it. That is what makes crossdressing so fun. Each time I do a total transformation (or even slip on my favorite stilleto ankle boots) it is exhilarating like nothing else. It is the contrast that makes it so special. Without the male side crossdressing would not exist. Its fun to be a boy and lust after and want to be like a particular girl simultaneously. I have fantasized about having breast implants and buttock implants and permanent makeup and collagen lips and a smaller nose but I know the difference between hot fantasy and reality. God I would so love to have very large implants for a few days or weeks but permanently would ruin the whole fun of crossdressing for me.

Interestingly enough there are many traits that coincide with both my male and female side. I wish I was hairless as a guy and a girl. I wish I could have french-tipped fingers and toes all of the time. I wish I had big pouty lips all of the time.

Sexually I am mostly a girl. Even when being sexual as a male I wish I were a female. Only occasionally do I completely identify with my male sexuality and only occasionally do I identify completely with my female gender. I do like to dress up or at least fantasize about it every single day of my life. No wonder so little is known about crossdressers. We are all secretive, varied and complicated.

[NathalieX66]

The primary logic in the transgender community is that gender expression and sexual orientation are not the same. The two are mutually exclusive.

Sure, there's lots of overlap, but hetero crossdressers are a dime a dozen.

[Lorileah]

Whenever anyone says "I don't want to offend anyone" they are usually going to offend most people. This whole label thing gets beaten to death here. Is you is or is you ain't? Are you half are are you whole. C'mon really?

The inference here is that to be "real" you have to be straight? Really? Personally, this is so worn I find it pretty much annoying now.

[Jenniferathome]

Well, I would think that anyone who cross dresses is a "true" cross dresser.

I think you are really asking, "Are there boring ole cross dressers like me?" Yup. There are.

[ossian]

The language of "true" crossdresser also implies that if you don't meet the definition then you are something else and should find another community. I have a hunch that there are many different journeys with different trajectories that would fit into the TG CD community without it being a problem. My own journey is an unfolding flower at the moment an I'm not entirely sure where it will end up.

[Lynn Marie]

So here's a non controversial answer for you. Yes, I fit your example pretty well. I love dressing and getting out dressed, but when I get home it's back to boy mode. Not because I have to, but because it's so much easier to take care of the business of life in comfortable shoes and without having to spend an hour painting my face. Because I'm free to dress whenever I like, I no longer feel the urgency and obsessive need to dress as much as possible. I'm normally out two evenings a week and maybe another evening at home. That's plenty for me. I'm also pretty relaxed about my shopping too. Just not all that obsessive about anything!

[Persephone]

I think you have hit upon the problem with labels, their failure to really mean anything.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Joanne f]

I suppose that there is nothing wrong with labels as some people need them to be able to connect with others who are the same and not to be thought of as something else so it is only natural for some to try to find what label they come under, in a lot of things this might be quite easy to do but with this type of thing it can sometimes be quite difficult to know exactly where you are as feelings have a habit of changing towards why you are doing it , in fact you can get into a state where you just do it as it is just part of you so the label becomes unimportant but if it helps the ones that need to work out where/what they are then I will try to explain how I see myself if I had to put a label on me ( apart from MAD).
I dress androgynous most of the time as I get very little time to go all the way , I do not have a desire to go from male to female and back again so if I do dress up there is no " Now I am female" and then going back to " Now I am male " there is no definite two sides to me only one , I enjoy wearing a dress no doubt for the same reason that a GG does, now here is where it gets a bit tricky , I have a tendency to push the female in me but think that maybe because I am in a male body so you have to try to compensate for what you are lacking ( sorry I can not compensate for my lack of brains),
so if you really want me to I would say that I am TG as I do not go from one to the other but if anyone wants to call me anything else so be it I do not mind .

[Edwina]

"The Truth? You can't handle the truth" Sorry, I am a little tired of this sort of question. You missed out on "under dressers" as well. There are so many interpretations I think it is impossible to try to categorize them.

[CD_blue]

I consider myself a true cross dresser (I think definition is much more broad than what your suggesting). I wear female clothes at home pretty much entire time I am home. Slowly outside of house I wear more and more female clothes. Example being I only wear female jeans and underwear.

I never go into “girl” mode, I don’t try to change my voice, and I don’t return to “male” mode as there is only one mode. Though I wear female clothing more often than not. I have no interest at all of a transitioning, and I am also straight.

When it comes to cross dressing in general I think it is just very broad and different people just see it different.

I have questioned though if I actually am a cross dresser. Perhaps I am just someone who finds things/clothing/shoes/make up pretty that society says I should not. While at same time having mind set that gender roles are just pretty outdated. I think “normal” society would for certain at very least call me a cross dresser.

[Lisa Gerrie]

hetero crossdressers are a dime a dozen.

Where? Is somebody having a sale?

[Frédérique]

Are you a "true" CD?

I can safely say that I truthfully “identify” as a crossdresser, MtF variety, with no pretensions towards trans- anything, nor do I feel my gender identity is in any way clouded or cloudy because of my penchant for wearing women’s clothing. Of course, many here will disagree with that statement. I believe that you, Joanne, are trying to speak for those individuals among us who just crossdress, and, even though we may be in the majority, our voices are not heard in this communal setting…

It can be very frustrating, to be sure, and when others INSIST that crossdressing must indicate problems with one’s gender identity, or that crossdressing must be a sexual expression of some sort, no matter what the pleasure-seeking crossdresser might say, that frustration becomes exponentially more and more pronounced…

In short, plain old ordinary MtF crossdressers should be able to voice their gender-unconfused opinions on a site dedicated to crossdressing, but, because they will have to stand in the “wind” of accepted (and expected) gender confusion, thread OP’s like the one referenced above will make an appearance now and then, only to be undermined and marginalized…

The inference here is that to be "real" you have to be straight? Really?

To be honest, I did not draw that inference from the OP. Some people just dress, period, and that, for some, may represent a form of truth TO THEM. Your personal take on truth may vary, but that doesn’t mean you should denounce someone else’s opinion, based on their own personal experience, out of hand…

[Kate Simmons]

The only honest answer to your question is "We are who we are." How we ourselves and others choose to label and define it will be according to perspective. The great "gender divide" originally came about for whatever reason. Being self aware reasoning beings, we realize there is a lot of wiggle room for self determination and expression. Basically, we are only limited by our own imagination when it comes to what we are able to accomplish, both as individuals and as a race. We only get into difficulty when we try to deceive ourselves for the most part and part of that is denying who we are. In the end, it's up to us to make ourselves happy, labels notwithstanding.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Joanne, Now I'm really confused.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Under that definition, yes I am a "true hetero CD", I have no desire to permanently become a woman, or cease living a male life.

[Beverley Sims]

Joanne,
After reading your post I will have to take a closer look at myself before replying.
All the various intertwined questions that exclude me one way or another has me reading into all the posts I reply to now.

[Lynn Marie]

It sure would be nice if you folks could just answer the OPs question without attempting to show us all your intellectual superiority by trashing the very labels we all use every day. This nonsense is getting really old.

[suchacutie]

I thought it was a simple question. Let me rephrase it: Are there any of us who wish to express our feminine selves in some way but not transition to that feminine self full time, and also are hetero?

Answer: yes, and I'm one of them.

[NicoleScott]

Lynn Marie, I agree. And I give some credit to Joanne for trying to clarify the question by defining, for this purpose, what "true" crossdressing is.
To answer the question, I identify as a male who likes to dress up occasionally and return to male mode. No conflicting internal identities to deal with. Just a happy, normal, "true" hetero, CDer.

[Stevie]

By your definition I have to say yes I am.

[Kate Simmons]

When Joanne posted this thread she said there was no right or wrong answer. Fair enough but some folks are saying it's just a "yes" or "no" answer. Is it? Not for everyone obviously but it has a lot to do sometimes with who we are as a person and what works for us. I consider everyone for who they are not what they are. If feelings and explanations mean we are showing off intellectually, you just have to take it for who we are. Anything "defined" really depends on who is doing the "defining".

[Lorileah]

even though we may be in the majority, our voices are not heard in this communal setting…

Really? The majority? If this was a majority there would be no discussion. What part of continuum or bell curve do you all not understand?

In short, plain old ordinary MtF crossdressers should be able to voice their gender-unconfused opinions on a site dedicated to crossdressing, but, because they will have to stand in the “wind” of accepted (and expected) gender confusion, thread OP’s like the one referenced above will make an appearance now and then, only to be undermined and marginalized

No one is saying you cannot fly your flag. But don't slap the rest of us with it by saying things that try and marginalize us "True"? What is the opposite of true? False ? Fake, Faux, Bent, Wrong? Thus if one isn't "true" they would be????

The inference here is that to be "real" you have to be straight?

To be honest, I did not draw that inference from the OP. Some people just dress, period, and that, for some, may represent a form of truth TO THEM. Your personal take on truth may vary, but that doesn’t mean you should denounce someone else’s opinion, based on their own personal experience, out of hand…

Hmmm...let me quote the OP

What I would like to know is, How many of us are true, hetro, cross dressers here?

Gee, another word with a certain meaning. Hetero (actually a prefix not a word) that means....?

"Denounce" someone else's opinion...kettle meet pot. You just did the same to my opinion. The OP stated something that appeared to be fact to them. The posts that followed were disagreements (something that this forum has been built on). You say denounce, I say give a different perspective.

As a group (a group that I know you want no part of Freddy...the whole continuum of Transgenderism...which you won't even accept as a definition),we will get a lot farther working together rather than looking for reasons to separate us. This is not a "Us" vs "Them" thing. It is not "there are more of us than there are of you" thing. It is a we are marginalized and discriminated against for no good reason. It has been a long time since I referred to Rev. Martin Niemoller's poem but I will direct you to that again. If you want to be separate, then you will find that you will be alone quickly

[Dora]

Yes I am a true CD and the reason is because I want to express the feminine side that I have but no desire to transition over totally to a woman, what really complicates things though is all my life I have been harassed by people, in person I have a female voice, plus also when I wear black pants I can really see how much I look feminine in the rear because of all these feminine characteristics at work its required that everyone wear black pants because alot shows through at work and is out of my control I am constantly called into the supervisors office all the time for small mistakes, also I have gone through this same thing any other job I have worked and even at one time lost a job and almost wound up homeless, something that I have found out that really works well and has carried me though so much is I am a very positive person, I am always positive at work and think despite the things I deal with a positive attitude can go a very long ways, also the other part of my expression of being feminine is I love to dance, I have all kinds of dancing games for my PS3 plus very soon will have a huge Just Dance 4 poster that I am hanging in my apartment.