Lets get EVERYONES opinion. Does age change things?

[Erica Marie]

Here is one for everyone.
Do you feel your age has any effect on your crossdressing. Do any of the younger members think the older members have an advantage and do any of the older members think the younger generation has any advantages? Older members do you have any advice for the youngers?
I look back and wish I could do so much over again. Things I know now that I didnt 20 yrs ago. The age of the internet opened up so many resources that we didnt have years ago.
My advice to the younger generation, be yourself, take advantage of any opportunity that is available to you. Dont be afraid to be yourself.

[kimdl93]

I'm reminded of how age changes things each time I look in the mirror. And I was just telling a friend how, of course I wished I could go back and convince my younger self that it could be so much better if I fully accepted myself and lived more openly as the person I felt within...but we can't go back. We can only hope to enjoy this moment and set the stage for better moments to come. And of course, it may be futile, but I'd like younger members to learn from those of us who missed years of happier life because of what we either couldn't understand or wouldn't accept about ourselves. Don't waste a moment in self doubt or self loathing.

[CynthiaD]

Age changes everything. When I was young I was pretty, but I was afraid of my shadow and I worried about everything all the time. Now I'm old. I look like an ape, but I'm afraid of nothing. Every age has its advantages, but I think I prefer being old. (Now, if I could just do something about that "ape" thing ...)

[Ciara Brianne]

And of course, it may be futile, but I'd like younger members to learn from those of us who missed years of happier life because of what we either couldn't understand or wouldn't accept about ourselves. Don't waste a moment in self doubt or self loathing.

I couldn't say it much better. To all the younger members. Seize the day! I feel I have missed out on a lot of happiness over the years. I think if I had accepted this part of myself when I was 19 or 20 and realized this was part of me, not just a fetish I was into, I would have dealt with a lot less stress and conflict. I would have been more open about it to friends, family and loved ones. I would not have had this inner conflict that has negatively affected more than one relationship. I may have married someone who would have accepted me wholly.

If I could go back, My life to date would be so much different.

Ciara

[Lynnmorgan451]

I wish I would've accepted myself when I was a kid but the world was different, I was different. I wouldn't go back and change anything if I could though. I love my family and kids and that whole ape like logical side of my brain always interferes with the emotional time travel option and declares PARADOX! Lol...I just want every day coming to be one day closer to more meaningful self expression and less fear, more self esteem and a happier "me"

[MisterEgurl]

Well, like everything, I think it depends. For me, I think the age thing comes into play regarding the fact that the younger people around me are more tolerant of unusual lifestyles, more likely to have a favorable expectation of things that aren't what their parents knew. Among my contemporaries, the notion of going out to a drag club is absurd. For a lot of the younger people, it's the best club in town. A big part of why I think the young have it better is probably more my sense of regret. I wish I had just opened up to people about me. I wish I had gotten involved in the LGBTetc. group at college instead of gravitating to the same somewhat inflexibly minded groups I did. I wish I didn't let peer pressure influence me and keep me closeted. I wish I had gathered the guts to go shopping for great clothes back when I was younger and not so wrinkly. So, I think regret shades my view of the topic. I hope young people keep following their own paths and tolerating those around them who take the ones less traveled.

[RenneB]

Oh yea, I wish the 'net was 'round back in the day. At least I wouldn't have felt like I was the only one in the world born like this. Advise for the young.... you can never 'untell' someone you are this 'way'. Be careful who you come out to....unless you are willing to endure all of the consequences... I'm sure society will eventually embrace all of the LBGT groups but I doubt I'll live that long.

Another tip.... the 'net never forgets. If you post/twet/whatever it's there forever... Even if you take 'it' down, some 'bot may have already surfed it and stored it in a dozen other servers....

Oh and finally, it really does get better with age. You're 'tude changes once your frontal lobe is totally developed.... even then it may take a few more years to eventually kiss the butterflies goodbye and obtain the IDC 'tude...

Renne.....

[Valerie]

We should not forget that times were very different then. I can't second guess my younger self. But I hope that those who are younger today feel that they have great support, love and admiration from so many of us. And I hope they can live their life fully, not enveloped in fear, simulation and repression as I did...
Valerie

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Erica Marie, very interesting question.

Born in the late '60s, the internet did not exist in my adolescent years, when I was fascinated with women's legs but never did anything about it. I recall sneaking around shelves at the public library after researching the topic "transvestite" in the Dewey Decimal System (younger members probably don't even know what that is) and then surreptitiously reading the books hidden within others.

When I finally did crossdress in the late 80's, I weighed about 185 and lived with a GF that was 5'10", maybe 160 and I could fit in her clothes. Opportunity + Access + Her Support, and a crossdresser was born. It was intense, and I can only imagine how far it would have gone with the internet to see what was possible, or shop online, etc. Oh, how naive I was. I remember buying "her" a dress for work, knowing full well I would be wearing it when she wasn't home.

Younger CDs obviously have the advantage of avoiding decades of testosterone and rough male work that shapes their bodies and features. But they lack the freedom and acquisitive power we older CDs have. With the type of job that requires frequent travel, I can freely indulge often. If I want a pair of heels or a dress, I just buy it, and I have a courier box to receive it discretely. I know younger CDs living at home or with roommates, or in college, would struggle with that.

I suppose my answer is that, like most things, it would be best to be that age and know what I know now. But that's impossible and that's why they call it experience.

Take care

Shibumi

[susancheerleader]

It's starting to effect me. I used to always dress younger. But my body is changing, and there are things I can no longer wear or I'd look ridiculous. Or no longer fit me anyway. So I've slowly had to change my cross dressing habits and desires. Which means, no more cheerleading outfits. But that's okay. There are many other clothing.

[Pixiesmate]

Oh and finally, it really does get better with age. You're 'tude changes once your frontal lobe is totally developed.... even then it may take a few more years to eventually kiss the butterflies goodbye and obtain the IDC 'tude...

Renne.....

I couldn't agree more. When I was younger I was terrified at being "discovered" and even more terrified at the idea of admitting that I am a Cder. With age, and a very supportive SO, I have been able to accept that this is part of who I am, and it's ok. I regret not accepting it sooner, as my age now limits what I can wear and still look at myself in the mirror. At 59, I refuse to try and look like a 20 something club girl, but revel in looking like a woman with some 'time in grade' and a certain flair...

[Sometimes Steffi]

It changed for me.

For a long time CD was a fetish for me, and mostly consisted of lingerie, with occasional skirts and tops mixed in.

Then it morphed into wanting tp get fully dressed, but without shoes, makeup, jewelry, wigs, forms, etc.

Then I slowly brought shoes, makeup, jewelry, wigs and forms into the mix, and went on tentative outings.

Then I transformed shopping into brick and mortar from on line, and even got assistance from SAs.

Now I'm into more extended outings with like-minded friends, to trans-friendly venues and even to regular venues.

Over the last 5 years, I've found a regular nail salon, a couple of wig sellers, and SAs willing to help at makeup stores (Ulta, MAC) and women's stores (Dress Barn).

I think my personality is actually different en femme. I'm more extroverted, and I'll actually dance, although no better than in boy mode.

[Dana L]

There are advantages for both. The younger generation have much more support and acceptance than when I was young. But as we get older I think passing is easier because many older women have less natural feminity and rely on cosmetics and shapewear to look good like many of us do.

[ShelbyDawn]

Age definately changes things. Just wish I cold have that 29 inch waist again...

[Stephanie Miller]

What? Me getting older? I think not. That's for old people.
So, sorry... can't answer your question.

"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"

[Rebecca Watson]

Do you feel your age has any effect on your crossdressing.

Absolutely. I certainly don't want to be looking back regretting not dressing up. And I certainly don't want to miss out on the opportunity to wear clothes that are more suitable for the younger crowd.

- Becky

[Kate Simmons]

It's not so much just age as it is opportunity and experience Hon.

[Nikki A.]

I think the younger CDs can look more natural than us older CDs with a lot less makeup. But you must contend with more of a balancing act between CDing and career and family. As much as we sometimes paint a rosy picture of acceptance, it still is a tough job market out there and anything out of the norm makes it harder.
However the senior members are at a point where they don't need to care as much what others may think and have more freedom. I know I was deathly afraid of being outted just a few years ago, now I'm at a point of if people find out, so what, and I've also let myself go to places that are closer to home. Also as we age I think our features get a little softer (not always better lol) and as long as we don't wrinkle up too much its easier to blend.

[suchacutie]

My daughter took one look at my high school graduation picture, sidled up to me and very quietly said, "nowadays you'd be called a "pretty boy"." If I had known about Tina then, I'm pretty sure that my life would be radically different now, especially if I were that young now. The internet and this kind of connection helps all of us, however. We're all more informed and not alone.

So the advantage of youth is beauty! The disadvantage of youth is beauty! As I age I know that I am ever more transparent out in the world. Not too many folks are interested ina 60+ year old woman, and as time takes it's toll on beauty for everyone, there are fewer expectations of facial beauty and body shape. It becomes easier and easier to blend in, from what I can see.

Every age has it's good issues and less good issues. It's all a balance that's mostly overridden by confidence

[Geena75]

In my younger days I could choose/influence who I wanted to be. Honestly, I didn't want CD to be a real part of it. Now, I'm exploring it. If I were to go on another 10 year purge now, I might as well resign it for good. I don't think I'd be up for it then. Might say I saw my CD clock ticking.

[Tracii G]

I think there are advantages for the younger ie internet,younger features (body and face) that makes it easier to pass.
Older its the experience gained from years of practice.
If I had known all I know now back then I would be a woman right now. Of course SRS isn't the answer for everybody but for me yes.I'm too old to go thru it now and I'm cool with that I'll just stay on my path and enjoy everyday as it comes.
My advice to the younger members don't be afraid to be yourself.... ever.
Remove all negative minded people from your list of friends they will only hold you back and cause you trouble.
Be open,honest,giving and caring that will gain you true friends that will last for a long time.

[sometimes_miss]

I wouldn't say age changes things. Time does. few things stay the same as time moves on.

[Angela Campbell]

Yes it does. Age changes us..it changes everything. Slowly.

[spandexgirl188]

I think age changes things. If anything the older you get the harder you have to work at looking and passing as a girl. sometimes age even changes our taste so much so that when you look at a girl the first thought that comes to your head is "what are yout thinking?"

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I'm 60, and I grew up in what I call the dark ages for us. Let's suppose I was 16-18 again today. I would have the internet to not feel alone and I could learn a lot from others. I wouldn't feel inhibited to hide my feelings or my secret. I could be more fluid in my gender expression and test the waters toward a full transition. Imagine growing up holding in all of the feelings of gender dysphoria for a lot of years building social constructs and having to conform. I'm finally allowing myself to relax and open up to people. Over time there is more acceptance of LGBT people and now I feel more comfortable and accepting about myself. The killer thought is thinking that I lost the opportunity to transition young because it was too radical back then. I envy the young TS today because of the support available. But back to the OP I feel better in a more accepting society, the groups whether clubs or here, expressing my feelings here or getting advice. At least I could open up to old friends who haven't shunned me run away. Of course there are people who don't need to know, but it's nice to have those who do.

Cheryl Ann