Getting out of your own head

[cdrachael]

Hi, I'm new to this site as a member although have read numerous posts to try and understand myself before joining.

Anyway, I guess I am wondering I have been trying to discover who and maybe what I am for some time. I have been dressing on and off in mainly women's underwear since I was about 14 years old.
Sorry for the long winded thread but my background is I have had two failed marriages although the second wife is very supportive of my crossdressing but not completely. We had some personal struggles that we overcame and in an event that happened while we were together came out stating that I liked to wear women's underwear only. We separated in 2011 for a number of reasons but we still get along as friends. However my crossdressing has developed into more than just underwear and has gone onto to dress', heels,makeup and now breast forms.

I guess my question really is through this transition I have been more and more aware I want to hide my male bits, when dressed and have thought it would be nice to take female hormones. Is this 'normal' thoughts as a crossdresser or is it something more?
I guess I'm asking the question thanks to society and the stereotypical male not liking shopping etc etc, and I seem to get on better with female colleagues then male ones.

Again sorry for the long thread
cheers.

[Kate Simmons]

Despite what society at large would have us believe, there is no such thing as "normal" as every person is a unique individual. The real challenge to all of us is to get to know who we are and enjoy being ourselves. We may employ various different methods along the way to accomplish that. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to do it, only what works best for us.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Welcome to the forum Rachael. Your journey is similar to many members.

Taking hormones is a serious step. You are still working out what this is all about for you. Have fun doing so and don't rush.

[Lynn Marie]

Like Michelle said, your transitioning is a pretty common theme for many girls like us but not all by any means. I, fortunately, have a dozen CD girlfriends and another dozen or so that I manage to see occasionally. Maybe 20% are doing hormones and only one has had SRS. The rest of us are fine with our tucked boy bits and other boy traits when we step out of our panties and into our Levis and cowboy boots!

[Jenniferathome]

... and have thought it would be nice to take female hormones. Is this 'normal' thoughts as a crossdresser or is it something more?

Hi Rachael, first welcome to the forum and since you asked the question, I'll offer my answer/opinion. "No, it's more." Cross dressing is a literal thing. I am a man who is a cross dresser. I have no desire to be a woman or change my body in any way, I simply cross dress. Now, if someone is transgendered, they may also be a cross dresser. Anyone wanting to take hormones is beyond simple cross dressing. Before you take such a serious step, you really need to seek out a gender counselor.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm going to whisper something to ya, so u can pretend u can't hear it, Rachael, (--maybe not CD but trans?)

[CynthiaD]

You need to figure out what's normal for you. Many crossdressers have no desire for hormones or surgery. Some do. You need to talk to a professional counselor before making any permanent changes. But don't look to others to validate your feelings. What's right for others isn't necessarily right for you.

[PaulaQ]

when dressed and have thought it would be nice to take female hormones. Is this 'normal' thoughts as a crossdresser or is it something more?

Hormones are a very serious step - normally you'd start hormones when you want to start the process of transition to female fulltime. You'd definitely need to talk to a counselor first - in fact, generally, you need to be in therapy for three months or so before anyone will prescribe them for you. The main reasons you'd start:
- you are miserable living as a male
- you are suffering debilitating symptoms of gender dysphoria
- you are pretty certain you want to live as a female
(Or all of the above)
It's more of a "need" rather than a "want." Also understand that not all of the effects of taking hormones are assured to revert if you change your mind and stop taking them. (For example, you may grow breast tissue that persists.)

Anyway, I'd definitely recommend talking to a qualified gender therapist, and figuring out whether or not you are transgender, and what you need to do about it. My guess from your post - and this is just a guess - is that if you are saying "it would be nice", the answer is probably "no, you don't need to be on hormones." But I don't know you, and of course you could be suffering quite a bit and in that case it would be totally appropriate for you. See a professional, to be sure.

[Emma Beth]

I agree with Jennifer. Looking into hormones is a big step beyond cross dressing. You really should seek a therapist.

I am at the stage where I am going to be seeking out a therapist in the near future because after I did a lot of soul searching, I realized that that is the direction that I need to go. Everyone is different, but you should look into the safest way of going about what you wish to do. I think you need to figure out the reasons behind what you wish to do as well.

I wish you the best of luck in figuring out just who you are; that is the most challenging thing one can do for themselves.

Welcome to the forum and a warm hug from me.

Love and lots of Hugs,
Jamie

[Rachelakld]

While I crossdress with all the stuff you have, today after 2 hour outing, I found myself draw back to my wife.
I've never thought of losing my favorite toy, never though about living without a woman in my bed.
I think your path may be somewhat different in this life.
I hope your life takes you where you want to be.

[Andrea J]

It depends on how important it is to you. I wouldn't be surprised if some CD'rs fantasize about transitioning. But that doesn't mean that they really want it. So ask yourself, do hormones just seem a fantasy of extending CD'ing? Or does it seem really important and more than that?

Just my opinion but there also seems to be both gender dysphoria and the less discussed gender euphoria (Happiness at the idea of being male/female). Again just my opinion from reading around the net, but I think TS's tend to be more dysphoria driven than euphoria driven. So you may want to consider this.

And of course you don't have to be CD or TS, you may be somewhere in the middle. And being an individual you may not fit into the conventional rules about these things either so it's best to consider conventional wisdom to be guides rather than concrete rules.

While I crossdress with all the stuff you have, today after 2 hour outing, I found myself draw back to my wife.
I've never thought of losing my favorite toy, never though about living without a woman in my bed.

Remember though that MTF TS's can be non-op lesbians.

[Beverley Sims]

You are not alone in your inquiry.
I would suggest you talk to a therapist or your doctor before body changing exercises.
But dressing can be all the time or whenever you want.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rachael, Everybody is NORMAL in their own way

[dreamer_2.0]

I guess my question really is through this transition I have been more and more aware I want to hide my male bits, when dressed and have thought it would be nice to take female hormones. Is this 'normal' thoughts as a crossdresser or is it something more?

Hi Rachel, welcome to the forum!

I often have these thoughts and wonder if there's more to my feminine desires than simply CD'ing occasionally. A previous poster said that they CD but that's it, they have no desire to be female. I, on the other hand, do desire to be female. While I'm not certain i was born in the wrong body (I have many distinct male traits), I seem to have this innate belief at I would have been happier as female. I despise my male bits (often curse they're too big, don't hear many guys do that haha) done a little bit of hormone research and have even found a silicone "female body" suit which I could order from Germany...if I had a spare $2000, that is. The fact I've done is strongly suggests, to me, there is something deeper than what I'm aware of.

Others have suggested perhaps speaking with a dr and that may be a good idea. I personally haven't done that yet as, frankly, I'm not comfortable with this side of me yet and don't have the balls to live female as others have. I'm both proud and envious of these girls. I have started seeing a therapist once a week but for unrelated issues. Having said that, my secret almost came out at my last session yesterday. It prompted me to create a thread on here asking for others experience speaking with a dr. Haven't started the thread yet, might do it later today.

Anyway, long story short, I've also wondered if my thoughts were the window to something more deep inside me. At this time I simply don't know. I hope you find your answers and, when you do, send some my way.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Hi Rachael, I know how you feel. Try this: Try spending every waking moment as a woman. It will give you a better perspective about yourself. Remember that women live their lives 24/7. Hormones are something that, while it sounds nice, are a serous subject and not to be (literally) taken lightly unless you're committed to fully transitioning. For now just take the baby steps of exploring your gender identity. There may undoubtly be a progress as to how far you wish to take it. Most of us have taken those steps and some have gone on to full transitions. Eventually you will hopefully find where you're at and how far you want to go.

Cheryl