Occasionally the other 10 - 20% needs exercise.Originally Posted by Norah_joy
Occasionally the other 10 - 20% needs exercise.
Hi,
Why do men try to emulat women, cant say i know though i know a lot do. is it the clothes for some if not many it is, & other reasons you'v said, I dont understand men i thought i had a little idear , though not really, i see thier actons , what they do, & attitudes & how they have effected us some good some bad,
One of the reasons seems to me to be very sexualy a part of thier makeup thats rageing inside them some 90 % of the time so if thats not met then they get thier pleasure else where,
so dressing seems to be part of that. so to emulate women is there, is it built in or wired in i would say so. this of cause needs to be tempered with who the person is ,
Myself i dont try to emulate or try to be a woman, yes i do wear womens clothes though the difference is in being a woman. so how i see clothes is very different,
To try & emulate another woman. or be like her, is not what im about, i am my own person being female is part of who i am, there are a few reasons why i would not even try to some of us dont have that female facial look so its very hard to look like a woman. even makeup is really out of the ?,
I certinly dont hide myself im very out there with people around myself all the time so am accepted very well.
With that ? of am i a girl , no i am a woman , & remember to be a woman iv grown into being one, its not a tack on because i wear womens clothes its in the being one,
...noeleena...
For me I am content being male until the opportunity to dress comes around. It does rarely. When dressed I tuck and tape cleavage and try to make myself as femme as possible. Then I just really want the rest of me to change into what I perceive to now be me, a girl. Unfortunately that is certainly not possible and it becomes difficult to put "her' away. But I do and I go about my male life as though it didn't happen. It has been this way for me for years.
Why do I do it? I don't know. The feelings started at a very early age around 4. They never went away. It does feel like a curse at times, but it feels so good when I get to be her.
Lucy this is exactly how I feel - your post has a lot of similarities as I feel the same way also. I think a lot of are on board here....................Debra
No, you’re not alone. I crossdress because I’m not a girl. I have no desires to be a girl, either. If I thought I was a girl, with all my heart, it wouldn’t be crossdressing, would it? Yeah, I’m a freak. Is there a community for freaks somewhere? Never mind…
When you wake up in the morning, and your male identity is never in question, where does the need for crossdressing come from? The “comforting and relaxing experience” you refer to is only part of the answer. I also dress up to play, change the scenery (along with the feeling), make the ordinary into the extraordinary, be different from others, and, well, be happy…
“Being a girl” was never a goal for me. Not only is it impossible, but I have to say that being on this site has reinforced my male identity is hitherto unforeseen ways. I’ve toned down the femme stuff, preferring a 50% (or less) female presentation. The boy is always in evidence. This helps to distance myself from other, more destructive viewpoints…
There’s a special word for wearing girl’s clothing and not wanting to be a girl – its called crossdressing, and it’s a lot of FUN. I cannot be what I am not, and I am NOT a girl…
Hi Lucy, i feel very simalier to what you posted, i dont really know why i dress, i dont pass, although when i dress i do want to look as much like a real woman as possible. I do know that i really enjoy the whole proccess of getting dressed, i love shaving, make up, the cloths, heels. It is not sexual anymore, was many many years ago when i was young, but now it is more just a relaxing time for me. I have never been outside dressed, but would like to try it at least once. I have no desire to become a woman, except when i am dressed then it is a fantisze or a curiousosity i am not really sure. There are times i wish i had breast but there are also times that the breast i have i am embrassed by them ( i have a good case of Gynomasticy sp. so i am a almost a full B cup) and have thought about having surgery to reduce them, again i am lucky my wife loves my breast and when i have talked about surgery she always ask me why i would want to risk unneccassy surgery. I guess the bottom line here with me is that, i am who i am, I have been dressing since i was 7 on and off have gone years with no desire to dress and other times i wish i could 24/7? i dont know what causes it, i gave up trying to figure it out. I am lucky my wife knows all about it and is supportive makes it easyier thats for sure.
Know that cross-dressing is the act of wearing clothing typically associated with the opposite sex. Cross-dressers are not necessarily transgender, although in the strictest sense a pre-operative transgender person presenting as the opposite sex is technically cross-dressing. Cross-dressers do not necessarily identify as a gender other than their biological gender. To use this term to refer to a transgender person is considered offensive.
How to Understand the Difference Between being Transgender and a Cross-dresser ..Yeah for having no labels it sure does get offensive around here sometimes .. But honestly I really don't mind being called Transgender ..I was fooled into believing I was for so long I got kinda use to it.. But I felt odd cause I didn't feel like a girl..I understand now whats going on hell I even told my Ex I was Transgender, how stupid was I? No need for Lables they say!.. Thank you for all the replies
I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.
Lucy, you're not a girl, nor am I. Yet we've chosen female names as a form of identification on this website. Why is that? For myself, I will say that I have an obligation to acknowledge that aspect of my being that is decidedly feminine.
Yeah, we're different than the vast majority of guys.. but to tell the truth, aren't we really happy that we have the option of experiencing what it is to be feminine?
I've been giving some thought recently to the same issue. I've never felt I was a girl even as a pre-teen dressing in my sister and mother's clothes. Just loved wearing female clothes. Any pampering I do is more about practicality in presentation, e.g. removing hair, than being female.
Jennifer has said it for me too. For me it is presenting totally female and looking as female as possible. Deep down, I'm sure I'm fulfilling some inner need which doesn't fit well into categories. So I just think of my self as a crossdresser - seems pretty accurate.
Last edited by Michelle (Oz); 05-06-2013 at 05:26 PM.
Seems like a box around me, being either or, a binary demarcation. I manifest in ways bewildering to those around me and the more I cross barriers the less the labels mean to me. Androgyny called but forgot to leave a message.
Last edited by Taylor Ray; 05-06-2013 at 05:46 PM.
There is not set standard here. You're welcome to find your own level of comfort and your own identity. As long as you can put self doubt aside and accept yourself, then life will be better for you.
Hi Lucy ... we're all different. And, as this thread shows ... there are many answers to your question (and, maybe, none).
My learning after thirty years of therapy ... a) I was born like this, b) I'm not male or female, I'm just me and c) I've always thought of myself as mostly female and I've pretended to be a guy most of my life 'cause I felt I had to.
As I got older ... the world changed, I changed ... and now I don't pretend as much. I've told a few friends, I started going out more en femme and the rest of the time I try to live a more androgynous life (it's fun to confuse people). But, I don't want to be a gender outlaw ... I'm not trying to shock anyone. I just want to live a pleasant life ... as me. Someday, I'd like to be open with everyone and have them understand that I am transgendered ... but, for now, that decision unfortunately impacts my career and income.
Susan will, however, win out in the end.
In short, Lucy, I crossdress because sometimes you just need to stop pretending.
Hugs,
Susan
Theory number 47
I am a guy and I like it. But I admire women, I think they are sexy. From their sexy toes all the way to their sexy noses. The shape of their legs, especially in high heels and nylons. The curve of their hips and waist. Their breasts, everything. Women are sexy and when I dress I try to have those same features. Yes, it is nearly impossible but I try with forms and padding and all the aids to make me look feminine.
Then I look in the mirror and I see the results. At least parts of me are looking sexy and I like that. Often I get sexually excited. Is this a form of self admiration? I am trying to emulate a women but when I am back to my male self I am quite happy to be a guy. I don't want to transition. I don't want to have sex with a guy. I just want to admire my sexualness when dressed. I don't think it is because of sexual frustration that I try to become female looking, my wife and I have a wonderful relationship on all levels, including sexual.
We ask ourselves why we dress. For me, the above almost answers it. The 'almost' leaves out the part I don't understand but I'm trying.
Hugs
“I am what I am and that’s all that I am"...Popeye
Wow, so much of this mirrors my thinking....hard to put labels, but for me dressing s much more then simply expressing my "feminine side" or to relax or get aroused....when I dress I get tremendous enjoyment out of presenting on the outside as I feel n the inside, to be looked at and treated as what I want my gender to be, not just as a male presenting as a pretty girl...that make me tg? who knows....just seems right when I do it.
one day when i was very very young i remember seeing a girl my age somewhere and she was dressed up looking really pretty ,. i remember thinking to myself "damn they are so lucky to get to do that at this age, why cant i be like that.."
it was all downhill (or uphill imo) from there ,until recently ive always felt like 1/2 of me was missing ,. but i could never put my finger on it ,. untill i put some polish on that finger nail then it showed me exactly who and where i am in life, if i could go back to birth i would not change a thing about me ,. well i maybe would have grown my hair longer and kept my figure in shape better .. lol
CJ
Your last paragraph fits me to a tee. So, in answer to your question...I do, all the time.
You could just have an affinity for female clothing or you could just enjoy dressing up as a woman for fun as an interest that is uncommon for men
Unto thine own self be true. (Hamlet: Act 1 Scene 3)
You Know Annaliese, I never really got into Hamlet ( it bored the hell out of me) perhaps I should have tried to have been more artistic
I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.
This is kind of where I'm at. I had kind of a stressful day at work today, so when I got home I threw on a skirt, hose, and heels and a cute new top I got off eBay. I'm more calm now. Not sure why that is but I'm not questioning it. However, I don't want to be a girl. Maybe if I could for like a week that would be cool, but that's about it. But I'm a guy and I'm OK with that. I like lots of stereotypical guy things like beer and American football. I find it very difficult to act femme even when I'm dressed because it doesn't come naturally like it does to some. I'm learning to walk in heels but that's a work in progress and I haven't gone higher than 3" yet. I don't go out dressed (although I would like to on Halloween this year). I most definitely like girls and have no desire to be with another man (not that that desire is wrong, I just don't have it). I currently only dress from the neck down and I don't have any forms yet but I just started dressing again 2 or 3 months ago after a 20 year hiatus. So soon I will at least have a wig and a makeup kit. But I don't think all this means I want to be a girl. Some do and that's OK. But I'm more toward the CD end of the spectrum than the TG end. I would like to maybe go out dressed sometime in the future (that isn't Halloween), but right now I'm 5'11" 260 pounds, and wear a size 12. I'm not fooling anyone (I know we have some bigger ladies on this site and I give you props for you well you pull it off, but my presentation besides the clothes is not femme at all).
Yes, I use a female name on this site, like many others, but that's mostly for convenience, so that the name matches the presentation. My male name is not gender neutral and I would feel funny using it in female mode. It's not like I feel I become Jennifer when I put the clothes on and that she is a separate person or aspect of my personality that only gets to come out every now and then. It's still me. I'm just wearing a skirt and heels instead of jeans and a t-shirt.
The point of all this rambling is that we all have our own reasons for dressing. I don't think of us need to justify who we are or why we dress. I'm just glad to have a community of supportive folks online.
BillieAnn...
You elloquence is beyond response...
Wanna go get a beer at Hooters enfemme? LOL
Shelby
I'm going to go with Eddie Izzard on this one - I'm all male and half female. He explains it like this: "Women get to wear what they want, and so do I". I am not female, I don't have a female locked inside me begging to be released. What I do have is a desire to experience life dressed in the finer things, softer fabrics, better color choices, the killer shoes, and a whole different mindset than the traditional male side. I dress to emulate women because I admire them, would like to be more like them in terms of my thought processes sometimes, and not having to play some macho head game with every other male in the place is appealing to me. I've done the games, usually won them, and found that in the end I didn't win anything. The wig, the forms (and yes the requisite bra) that I am now seriously thinking about are a progression from under-dressing to actually buying my own clothes and shoes, to shaving my legs and painting my toenails and beginning to venture out in to public wearing women's clothing are all part of my cross dressing. My dressing does not, however, define me as a man, woman, tg, ts or anything other than the human that I am trying to be - a mix of the traits of both sexes, but still wrapped in a man. The clothes and presentation may throw some for the proverbial loop, but that is their problem, not mine. I'm still trying to refine my definition of myself in a way that I find to be true to me.
Lucy, you're really going to have to find out why you want to dress and/or behave as a female. It's not easy; it took me several decades on my own to figure it out. Having a therapist may help, or may not, it's kind of just going along until the 'A-HA!' moment hits you. I can offer some ideas if you want, message me here, I'll tell you what I learned along my own gender discoveries. It's too much to post on a thread.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Me a girl? No, definitely not. I love to wear a dress, makeup and jeweler just like a woman - but that does not mean I am one. I did come across something that seemed to explain a lot: there is evidence to suggest that there are three types of brain. There is a male brain, a female brain and a brain that is a combination of male and female. This can explain why some males and females can be attracted to both the masculine and to the feminine. My wife (and other family members) can have a problem with me dressed as a woman, so I respect that and dress when I can. Christian, yep - but does cross-dressing conflict with Christian belief and teaching? No. For the present I'm able to adapt, but for how long? For as long as it is necessary I suppose.
Luuy Bella Thank you and all ther girls here . I know this will realy help me feel better about my self. Thanks .
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