Taking it too seriously

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

After reading many posts and all of us being so concerned about many issues we deal with, I've come to a realization. Yes, I really feel bad for the CD whose wife cannot accept their CDing. And I also feel badly for the closeted individual who has to keep looking over their shoulder with paranoia.

But I want to stress that just because we love to dress as women, live the role, or even go beyond to make permanent changes, we ARE NOT bad people. We don't beat our wives or belittle them, we love our parents, we respect all others for their diversity, we try not to judge others, we are not criminals or pedophiles, we do our best to provide emotional and financial stability for those we love.

So what's wrong with that?

Ethyl Barrymore said it best---"You haven't grown up until you've had your first real laugh, at yourself."

So we wear clothes of the opposite gender and express our inner feelings. There are no real victims of a horrible crime.

Cheryl Ann

[Robinkay]

I could not have said it better !

[Jenniferathome]

I don't think anyone has made that claim here.

It's true, no one is "bad" for simply being a cross dresser, but it doesn't make it any less weird. While nothing to the cross dresser, cross dressing is a huge issue for wives and SOs. We have decades to get comfortable with it. They have shock and awe.

Anyway, I think it's fine to tell yourself you are not a bad person because you are a cross dresser. You are not. But, do respect the weirdness of cross dressing to others. There is a lot of weird shit out in the world and cross dressing is just one of those. And, pretty low on the weirdness scale, really. But it's on there!

[ArleneRaquel]

Crossdressers run the gambit from good to bad, but is being a CD a cause of either. Now I believe that I have become a better human being by being a CD'er and more. Bad, rude,or selfish behavior comes in all shapes & sizes. My lifetime experiences in the LGBT community have made me believe that "the community", has some of the best persons that there is in America. But being a CD or "gender queer" does not make you a bad person perse, and CD'ing is not a bad or evil thing. Maybe more people should be CD and the world would be better. My world has gotten better & better the more I CD.

[DawnD]

It's true, no one is "bad" for simply being a cross dresser, but it doesn't make it any less weird. While nothing to the cross dresser, cross dressing is a huge issue for wives and SOs. We have decades to get comfortable with it. They have shock and awe.

Not all wives and SO's. I personally think I am a better person for being married to a CD. I was never shocked in any way by my husband. He told me, it's a part of him. I have never been one to judge anyone for the way they live their lives. Whether it's CDing, or body modifications, or pretending to be a horse. To each their own. And I truly believe that by knowing the "weirdness" in other people, it helps me to grow as a human being.

I do understand that I am not normal. I know that CD threatens the fundamentals and definition of the sexes for most SO's. I know it can have some interesting effects on the psyche. It's how we assess and incorporate those into ourselves that defines the sort of person we are.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the desire to wear women's clothing. The feeling I get from wearing a cute skirt is the same one you get. So what's the big deal?

[Jenniferathome]

... The feeling I get from wearing a cute skirt is the same one you get. So what's the big deal?

No big deal to me, but I am a cross dresser. I think your attitude is laudable but "weirdness" comes in all shapes and sizes and.... tolerances. All we can do is be ourselves and enjoy our relationships. You are there and so am I. And many more will follow.

[May(be)]

We may not be bad people, but we do disturb the established order, which some people would call "bad". However,I am all for a little Discordianism.

I too am surprised that people try to impose a moral structure on clothing.

I dressed a boy dog up once in a dress, and then I called him a good dog. Now that is activism! I'm changing the world one tail wag at a time.

[Taylor Ray]

I completely agree with your sentiment, Cheryl Ann. I am still trying to find the balance between seriousness and humor, not only in my life but on this forum as well.

[Beverley Sims]

I agree it does not make us bad, but it is still considered weird.
Homosexual acts between consenting adults was illegal once, it was not considered weird, just distasteful... Why the difference?

[AmyGaleRT]

You're right on, Cheryl. Who do I hurt when I slip into a dress and do up my face to become Amy? No one. On the purely physical level, it's no different from when I used to put on a Star Trek uniform to go to a science-fiction convention. Both of those are probably considered equally "weird" by most people.

Of course, being Amy is different and more intense than that, because it's less a "costume" and more an expression of an inner part of myself that's normally hidden. And that may squick a few people out there, because they don't understand how someone male could feel part-female inside. Or maybe they're afraid that they might discover that they have much the same feelings, if they really look deep enough...

I'm reminded of a quote by Spider Robinson on the insight into the variety of human experience you can get from visiting an "adult entertainment" shop. None of the clientele ever seems to be aroused by more than 5% of the stock on hand...yet it all sells, or it wouldn't be there. We CDs just shop on a different aisle from most people.

- Amy

[Tracii G]

I wish more wives were like DawnD she is a gem!!

[TeresaCD]

True, Cheryl, and as Jennifer said to, 'normal' for us is quite strange for others.
I see that in my youngest son, who has autism - he sees the world quite differently, and his 'normal' is off the charts for me
It is good to accept this part of us, and enjoy it for what it is.
It is also good to consider others around us as well.
Well put, you lot!

[Elle1946]

The real victims of the horrible crime are the people that don't understand us and are to one sided to even try.

[Annaliese2010]

...we ARE NOT bad people. We don't beat our wives or belittle them, we love our parents, we respect all others for their diversity, we try not to judge others...we do our best to provide emotional and financial stability for those we love.

Yay you, Cheryl Ann. I feel you on that agree 100% and applaud the innocent directness of your well worded sentiment, girl!

[Sandra1746]

In any community there is suspicion, or outright hostility, incurred by being "out of the mainstream". Just look how someone in a turban is regarded in a small town or how (religious or ethnic minority of your choice) was treated in (most anyplace you can think of). We CD/TG/TS folks are no different, just an easily identified minority. We are NOT bad, or evil, or dangerous (especially to children) but it is often difficult to convince others of that.

Hopefully, over time, attitudes will evolve for the better,
Sandra1746

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Thanks gals for all of your perspectives. Something makes me think that GG's who would like a great relationship could find that with a male who has a soft sensitive side, is truly loving, and who just happens to enjoy wearing women's clothing.

Cheryl