Somehow when I was younger like ten years ago, I had the idea that the constant battle of the genders within would taper off somewhat as I got ahem, more Mature.
Boy was I mistaken. It's just gotten worse. More time to think about it? I don't know but once again I've been proven dead wrong.
Anyone else run into this by chance?
Denise
As I have gotten "more mature" my desire has grown & grown !
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
So given the chance to back those ten years, ladies, would you transition?
Because that's where I am right now. I want to transition, but I feel like I could hold out if I wanted to. Yet would I just end up getting more and more miserable, and end up transitioning in my old age? I'd rather do it now when I still have some youth left. Really torn over this.
I spent a long time thinking that the cross dressing was my problem so I purged and tried to stop. Eventually I realised the problem was deep within and nothing I could do would cure it. The cross dressing was not the problem but a way of coping with it. I also believed that it would fade with age. Believing that was my last hope. It did not and one day it blew and I have now started transitioning.
daniG
May I ask why would you want to hold off for another 10 years?
Good question. For my wife & kids.
But, I suppose, also to be 100% sure. Anybody know where I can sign up for the scroll lowered down from Heaven? 'Cause no matter how much confirmation I get, I always have that nagging doubt. lol
But less doubt as time goes on.
Last edited by Rianna Humble; 04-01-2013 at 02:16 AM. Reason: No need to quote the preceding post
I get ya...
When it's all said and done... What's left is a huge leap of faith in stepping off into the abyss.
My biggest step was when I realized Donna was Me, and we are not a guy who just wants to dress up in women's clothing (no disrespect to any of our CD sisters) but that I am a woman trapped in the wrong body. Emma, being a cross dresser isn't a problem, it's a part of who you are. The only problem you and many others (myself included at one time) have is accepting who you are, and learning to live as full and happy a life that is possible under the constraints we and society and circumstances place on us.God bless you, and I pray you find happiness and contentment. Remember being TG/TS or C/D isn't a sickness or disease, and there is no need therefore for a CURE!Originally Posted by emma5410
Funny thing about maturing. I found out about crossdressing when I was very mature. I got better and embraced it more as I matured ..... more. Now I am so mature that instead of being older than dirt, I am older than the rock that the dirt came from. Getting mature is wonderful, but it sucks at the same time. The "What If's" and "Why Not's" seem to always be around to remind you that it is much better to forget that past and look toward that future and live it, because like life it will eventually end and probably sooner than we think!
My experience took the same overall form in so far as its trend and destination, though it differs in detail. I do not regret transition or SRS/GRS, though it has proven difficult and problematic.
Last edited by Beth-Lock; 06-23-2013 at 05:01 PM.
Hi Denise,to the Transsexual Forums!
I spent far too many decades hoping that my need to be a woman would just go away. Eventually, it just exploded on me and I was left with no choice but to act.
I don't think that the reason your dysphoria is getting worse is because you have more time to think about it. In my not so humble opinion, gender dysphoria is a progressive condition that just continues to get worse until we do something about it.
Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.
This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any
Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist
Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity
I have never heard anyone say they wish they had waited longer to transition
One of the biggest motivating factors for me was that I knew this would become an issue again and again and again so i might as well do something about it now while im still younger.
You are so right April. I have known I am Donna since I was 15, yet I have delayed transitioning until now at 53. I so wish I had transitioned then, but someone much wiser than me once said "hindsight is 20/20". Good luck to you Denise, and all my other "mature" sisters.
I am sure we all had our battles with knowing we where in the wrong body. I just look forward to at little over 46 i will be what i have known i was most of my life and looking for the great years ahead, being complete. Marianne
For me it is this is who I am, and stopped fighting it, it seam it worse.
I too have started to CD much more as I have gotten older. I think because I have more time on my hands and because I am accepting this as part of me I really feel great about dressing up. It could be quite some time until I come out, but for now I enjoy my gurly time.
I started this very late (65), and have only had a short time to turn this over in my mind, albeit it constantly. I must agree with Rianna, that it is really more about having had so much time to mull over the situation, it becomes clearer that it is not going away, there is less to fear from it, and it is what was meant to be.
It must be so very very hard for a young and/or middle aged person to realize this, and balance the ramifications of self and family in their decisions, and this can also weigh on desires to do things, which may be lessened with age/life situation.
I do not have the what if's or the why not's to think about, just the thought of being an old lady, without the young bits to remember...lol.
Barbara
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
You'n me Barbara...You've really transitioned into a pretty woman..I'm still an old fat bald guy with pretensions...but I'm okay..Just trudging along...happy...You seem so well..And so pretty...smooches Jackie
Last edited by Rianna Humble; 04-01-2013 at 04:38 PM. Reason: Do not quote the preceding post - especially if you only add a couple of lines
Jackie
Do you mean that you thought you'd grow out of it? No such luck...at least in my case. I thought or hoped that I might grow up one day, but I find that instead, I've grown more willing to accept myself. And honestly, that's a good thing.
Well, I'm a late bloomer. So it hasn't been long. But my SO had remarked that things seemed to have sped up since I "came out".
-stephani
I've discovered that it's best not to think in terms of "when" or "too late" or "late bloomer." We come out when we come out. There are no re-dos or regrets in life. A wise man once said, "the most important moment in life is THIS one." Feel inspiration in coming out no matter when where or how. Bravo !
With me I feel that there were opportunities missed.
I feel I was too cautious then, but times, tolerance and situations are changing all the time.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Yep! The older I get, the more I want to do the things that I want to do and have not done because of social pressures, lack of time, work, family, etc. It is now time to begin enjoying my femme side, and that I am now beginning to do! Admittedly, it keeps getting stronger every day!
Di
Oh it just gets stronger and stronger. I wish I would have tried to understand my GD any amount of years ago. I think if I would have had the courage to take a good hard look at myself and seek therapy I would have transitioned and not gotten married. Things would have gone so differently. But, I wouldn't turn back time because I wouldn't have my two wonderful children if I did.
Maturity has brought more pain and a much higher degree of GD. I believe that the earlier you seek professional help, figure out who you are and determine the correct path for you the better your "later" life will be.
I so agree, the older I get the stronger the desire is, I have now personally discarded the guilt, shame and at least accepted it for myself. In my situation a series of unrelated medical events have opened doors to some answers. I now know this is me I had no choice in the matter. My GD was probably due to exposure to DES prenatally but a medical subject that even Drs do not like to discuss. I have come to peace with it personally and others will have to deal with their own concerns. In my situation for some very strange unknown reason my body has decided to convert Testosteron to Estrogen, been to 15 doctors no one has the answers so I will let nature take its course. If I knew thirty years ago what I know now maybe things would have been different but that is life and my family comes first. In closing I thought it was a phase, a fancy, it would go away, when I got old the desire would be no more; well WRONG big time. The desire becomes stronger and more overpowering everyday. Sorry about the rambling but even limited self acceptance to me is pretty new.
Hugs to all,
Deidra
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