Theory on Need of Going Out

[Fifi]

I've been dressing for a while now and I have yet to go out in the public in the female form yet. But everytime I'm done dressing, with all the makeup and effort that went in to looking good I have a strong urge / desire to go out. So I was thinking about why we must go out and came up with a couple of theories. Would love to hear some of your thoughts:

1) We want to go out because the feminine side in us like many GGs likes to be admired for our beauty or our own perceived beauty?
2) Hardwiring. We are hardwired to reflect truth, genuineness and authenticity in our interactions with people. We're also hardwired to want to connect and have relationships which are only really possible with honesty, intimacy / communication. How can we interact with the world in that way if we feel we are not being genuine in our communication (even in the form of our external attire. I.E. we are wearing all male's clothes when we're right in the middle of a pink fog)

So I think it has to do with the fact that we as people crave intimacy and connection which is only possible when we are real and genuine which is only possible if we are dressed and presenting ourselves the current way that we'd want to? Thoughts?

What are some of your reasons for "needing" to go out? Are there other threads that have explored this topic deeply already?

[joanne_mi]

Wow, terrific question. I'm leaning more towards option '1', because that would come with a side of validation. '2' makes sense too though. I'm confused now...

[Jenniferathome]

Not in my case. I think you might be over analyzing.

I go out because it is a validation of "me." It is the ultimate expression of the girl me and the opposite of hiding, which I have done for decades. I think, also, and pragmatically, it is a function of being all dressed up and nowhere to go is boring.

[Jessica Who]

For me, it's just wanting to express my feminine side while doing things that I already like to do (movies, dinner, etc.)

[Michaelasfun]

I like the initial thought you had of going to all the effort to get dressed up, then feeling the urge to "complete" by going out now that you've put that much work into it.

For me, it provides a high similar to standing at the bottom of the biggest roller coaster you ever saw and trying to muster the courage to take the ride. It may be one of the scariest things I ever did, but also delivers the biggest rush I ever had.

[AmyGaleRT]

I think, ultimately, I don't want to be cooped up as Amy; I want to experience life and the world while I'm being her. I think that's part of what will help me grow, both as a woman and as a person entire.

That, and it's a lot of fun, too.

- Amy

[Lucy_Bella]

I always had the urge to go out to, why? So I went out and it really wasn't a big deal because I went to T/G friendly bar with friends who happened to be gay..It didn't cure my urges to stop but it did help slow them down..I think the main reason why I have these urges to go out is to be accepted ..

[Eryn]

Long before I understood what a CDer truly was or knew that I was one I would daydream about being a woman in public and being accepted by the people I encountered while doing everyday activities. I have no idea why such fleeting images was so powerful, but by going out I am able to explore this facet of myself a bit more fully.

Little did I know how much money that "little daydream" would cost me, or that living it out would bring me closer to my spouse and introduce me to many new friends and experiences. I've learned a lot, but I now realize that I've barely scratched the surface.

[Tracii G]

I think like Jessica on this one

[AllieSF]

I wanted to go out because I already knew that it would be a lot more fun going out and interacting with others than staying home and watching television or stayed glued to this site. It has nothing to do with my desire to express my feminine feelings. I am me and I do enjoy interacting with others in any mode. The feminine attire is just my chance to role play while out. It works for me.

[Fifi]

Wow... great answers. Validation, Acceptance, Expression, Being Practical and Pragmatic, just doing what we're already doing and not excluding that part of 'us'.

[TinaMc]

I haven't gone out but I feel a need to do so and no doubt will at some point in the near future. For me it's definitely a validation/self expression thing. I just want to be able to be a version of myself that really does exist, and to be that with no sense of shame or that I'm doing something wrong. Hiding out at home with all the curtains drawn, not answering the door tends to make me feel a bit like I'm doing something really bad, which probably doesn't have a very good impact on my self image...

[Lynn Marie]

What Jennifer said. Besides it's always fun to visit with CD girlfriends.

[Beverley Sims]

I like to express my feminine side, and because we are social animals and meeting others is part of our nature.
So it is a bit of hardwiring and vanity combined.

[Wildaboutheels]

My favorite axiom is "Never judge a book by it's cover." Lots of folks claim to abide by it but few actually do.

Going out dressed in an "unconventional" manner is a way to show people just how true that expression is.

It's not necessary to always color inside the lines and "rules" for what people should or should not wear are outdated.

[Kate Simmons]

I think one of the reasons is to get validation of ourselves and our feelings by interaction with others at various levels.

[ArleneRaquel]

Validation is a key, as is the desire of wanting to be accepted as a female. I doubt that I pass even 2% of the time, but I do desire acceptance.

[NicoleScott]

1) We want to go out because the feminine side in us like many GGs likes to be admired for our beauty or our own perceived beauty?
2) Hardwiring. We are hardwired to reflect truth, genuineness and authenticity in our interactions with people.

1) Yes
2) No, not for all. There are CDers who identify as males with no internal feminine identity - they just like to dress up. Going out is expressing themselves exactly the opposite of truth, genuineness, and authenticity.

[Kaz]

I guess we all have different reasons and these will change over time. They have for me. Validation is key but more importantly just the feeling I get by being out dressed - it is awesome! But as I get older the need to be out there is changing... It is not as important as it once was?

[ArleneRaquel]

As I age the disire to be a girl 24/7 gets stronger & stronger. I'm 24/7 about 95% of the time, even with a CD hatng next door neighbor.

[Sandra1746]

Part of my motivation to go out dressed is freedom of self-expression. It falls under the "basic civil rights" umbrella. I don't dress in fancy-fem clothing, more like the average "soccer mom (or -grandmom)" but the clothing is fem. Ultimate blending; at age 67 'passing' is a delusion.

I'm not hurting anyone else and not causing a "public spectacle" so it should cause no problems. As it turns out, mostly I am ignored; nobody seems to notice. I will sometimes get a smile and a casual hello from a GG I have never seen before but that's about it. Reactions by store personnel is uniformly friendly and pleasant.

The biggest thing we have to fear is fear itself.
Sandra1746

[Angela Campbell]

Maybe because the closet is a very lonely place.

[suzy1]

You are wrong in your assumption that we all must go out or want too.
I don’t want to go out, I just don’t have the need to but it has been hard to convince some members of this.
Its no problem but sometimes just a little bit Grrrrrr.


[And my closet [my house] is not a lonely place for me Ellen]

[Staci Roberts]

This is a very interesting topic. Years ago, I had no desire to "go outside the closet". I think, as time went on, skills sharpened and things were added to the overall look, the desire (for me) to venture out became more desirable. Recently, as i posted in another thread, I ventured out and about. The rush of emotions was incredible. Was it all good? No. Without having to rewrite what was already written above, I think that the majority of what was posted is accurate!

[Jenniferathome]

2) No, not for all. There are CDers who identify as males with no internal feminine identity - they just like to dress up. Going out is expressing themselves exactly the opposite of truth, genuineness, and authenticity.

are you stating that because I do not identify as female, when I go out presenting as one, I am not genuine or truthful? I am 100% genuine when I present as female. It is "me" I am a cross dresser. That's the truth. I enjoy my time in female mode. That's the truth. I am expressing a part of the real me. That is the truth.