I am curious about others thoughts on the issue of purging. From the ages of 12 to 32, I purged my clothes every few years. I would hide my undies when starting a new relationship, but introduce panties slowly into the relationship, until they were accepted.
My most recent purge was 3 years ago, and included everything accept lingerie. After that purge, I seemed to have somehow passed 'the purge barrier'.
Whew! so glad, and very interested in others experience
I've never purged.
I keep things until they no longer fit or are worn out. Doesn't matter if they are out of style or not. Heck I keep some even if they no longer fit, in hopes that they will fit again.
DonnaT
I would simply say “Don’t do it.”Originally Posted by Taylor Ray
I purged exactly once. My life had changed, so I sought to put crossdressing behind me. But, things changed again, back to where they were, and I resumed crossdressing. Where had my all precious femme stuff gone to? Oh, WHAT WAS I THINKING???
I have3 purged more times than I care to admit. Kick myself in the butt when I think about. all the wasted money, and all the cute outfits lost. I would have such a killer wardrobe had I not done this. On the bright side, MY wardrobe is up to date.lol And I believe I am past the purge stage. If the guilt and urge to purge ever come back, I am going to box up my wardrobe and tuck it away. I have always gone back to dressing after a purge and see no reason why it would be different now.
In reality...I am ready to come out. To friends, family and the world. That does not sound like someone who is going to be purging ever again.
Ciara
Same with me. I've never purged, and I hardly ever prune either.
Lately, my main pruning is done when I need clothes to exchange at a clothing swap.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
Very interesting point you make, Ciara, about coming out. I understand in the context of an intimate partner, but am curious about your desire to tell friends, family, and the world.
In reality...I am ready to come out. To friends, family and the world. That does not sound like someone who is going to be purging ever again.
Ciara
Ive purged once - when i was about to deploy to Iraq. If anything happened, i didnt want my family finding out when they got my personal property. Since I am now "out" i only get rid of stuff when its outdated or worn out. Even then it doesn't happen that often.
I could be wrong, but I would suspect that I have one good purge left in me, and it would be the last one -- meaning I quit CD for good. I'm really experimenting this time, and depending on how I feel it goes -- all or nothing.
When you get the urge to purge, purge your male underwear instead. It is a lot cheaper to replace.
LOL! And it's a lot cheaper not to purge in the first place (don't we all know that?). Well, you can purge the clothes but you can't purge the urge!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
The reason most of us purge is because we try to become the person others think we should be which basically amounts to getting rid of our true self. This usually does not work and it is akin to breathing so usually doesn't work for long. The only real way to get rid of it as a compulsion is to make it a total choice, then it becomes much easier to be ourself, regardless of how we present.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
My last purge was ugly and never want to go there again. Im just a not very nice person and I don't like not very nice people. I try my best not to be a hypocrite but Im not perfect. Sorry..
My ex, after we had been to counseling to "save" our marriage had all my girl clothes all bagged for the trash. (I miss the beautiful wig I had.) Supposedly I was giving up CDing. I felt like a part of me died. I was miserable. Started to wear some of her things. And eventually the pot boiled over and I was single. Today my own closet is ready to explode so I often do some thinning of things that either don't fit or don't appeal to me anymore. The other day my wife had to help me find a white sweater that disappeared, and we still haven't found it!The reason most of us purge is because we try to become the person others think we should be which basically amounts to getting rid of our true self. This usually does not work and it is akin to breathing so usually doesn't work for long. The only real way to get rid of it as a compulsion is to make it a total choice, then it becomes much easier to be ourself, regardless of how we present.
Cheryl Ann
Jorga and Claire - Nailed it! LOL
Purged a couple times and to quote the Raven - "Nevermore!"
Hugs
Traci Melissa Knight
To thine own self be true
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear
I have been through the purge a few times, now if I feel I need to take a break for whatever reason I just pack it up in storage containers and set it in the closet. I know from past experience it will come back when you least expect it to.
Never purged, had stuff confiscated.
That was bad enough.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Some learn faster than others. For me, it took three purges (the last about 20 years ago) before I learned the futility of purging. There is a difference between culling (getting rid of clothes that you don't want anymore for various reasons (size, style, space). GG's do it.) and purging (attempting to quit crossdressing, cold turkey. GG's don't do it.)
Purging is all about guilt, and while coming out won't necessarily alleviate all of that personal guilt, it helps (or at least it helped me). I definitely experienced guilt about dressing even after I started coming out to others (which was during my freshman year at college, so pretty early on), but not to the extent where I would have purged or tried to "stop" dressing.
The only time I "purged" was when I headed off to college because I knew I'd be living with a roommate and wasn't ready to out myself at that point to somebody I really didn't know, or to leave them at home for my parents to potentially find (I've since come out to them). I kept a couple favorite things and brought them with me, but the bulk of my stuff went out the door. I managed to get singles every year after that and started reacquiring and haven't looked back since.
Interesting point about guilt. I wonder why CDs feel guilty?
Taylor wants to know why CDs feel guilty. More correctly why DID they feel guilty? Go back a generation to the 1940s up to early 1960s before the Internet that is. Speaking for myself and probably most of the senior members here we felt all alone in the world, we were some sort of perverts, freaks, you name it. Of course we still dressed, that is until either some event happened in our invironment such as entering the military, college, marriage before we did or did not come clean with new spouse, losing a job, moving for whatever reason, and often it was simply the burden of shame became too great so we dumped in alleyways, dumpsters, garbage cans or burnt them. Sooner or later, be it one week or one year we were shopping again. For me, probably six times or more during those years. Now we know better for we are not alone by a long shot and we also know the urge will, as Claire and so many others said, the desire will be with us forever and ever. Taylor, you have no idea how lucky you are not having to go through that period. Nevertheless, there are still many, many parents and other relatives out there that try to force children to discard their clothes in the mistaken belief that it will CURE them. Very sad.
Julie
Last edited by Julie Gaum; 04-25-2013 at 07:36 PM. Reason: I spelled to wrong too
2 days ago I had a panic attack session where I thought I would quit crossdressing to God. Then I was stuck with the thought of how do I sell most of my clothes to get some money back, because I spent a lot of money on those clothes and I won't purge / throw them away for free. If I had to purge I'd ebay and Craigslist my clothes, then donate some of the money to church as a "sin offering."
But now I'm back to crossdressing and buying more clothes.
I do something similar to purging. Sometimes I yield to an impulse to delete photos of myself then regret it. (Edited to add). I also purge friends who I associate with crossdressing. Right now that urge is getting pretty strong.
Last edited by Kelly Smith; 04-26-2013 at 11:30 AM.
I've purged at least five times in the past. I have come to believe that there is no reason for purging as long as you know that crossdressing is a permanent way of life.
No purging as of this time and I hope done in the future.
I've had 2 periods in my life where dressing was completely dismissed for me for a period of years. I went from roughly 1995 to 2000 without dressing once, and had pitched all my stuff (this period bothers me a bit as I was still fairly young then and probably could have pulled passing off better than now), and 2007 to now. This last time, I did donate all the stuff to charity, so someone less fortunate could use them. Now, I'm in the process of buying everything again.... I did keep 3 wigs though, as those were quite expensive, and couldn't part with them.
Change is inevitable, growth is optional.
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