Embarrassed by representations of TG people

[kimdl93]

An earlier post about a peeping Tom posing as a CD to video women reminded me of how many times I've been embarrassed by real life or fictional representations of transgendered people over the years. You know, those grainy videos of Milton Berle, John Cleese and Eric Idle 'drag racing', corporal Klinger, etc., etc. (about the only positive TG person I remember was Cpt. Whatever's girlfriend from Hill Street Blues.

It seems that whether real or fictional, my first reaction was "someone may recognize me in them" and the other fear was that 'I'd end up like them'.

Oddly enough, to some extent, the latter proved true...but now I'm ok with it.

So, for you folks, has the representation of transgendered ever bothered you by the unflattering portrayals or by the fear that it revealed something about you...or some other way?

[linda allen]

Yes, it seems it's just fine to make fun of crossdresser or transgendered people still. Don't try to do the same with black people, Latinos, native Americans, the handicapped, etc. or you'll be in serious trouble.

I hate to see the crossdressers on the Jerry Springer show if my wife is watching, especially if I'm sitting there in my forms, blouse and skirt. It's embarrassing and I keep waiting for her to comment.

[Lacyfem]

Yes Linda, Though my wife doesn't know I dress, whenever a cd is on TV she has a nasty comment about them. Makes me uncomfortable.......

[dawnmarrie1961]

Embarrassed by representations of TG people? Chalk it all up to a lack of knowledge that the general public has about us. It is the responsibility of each and every one of us to work hard at changing that perception.

[Megan Thomas]

It's not so much a need to thrust an explanation on them. Half the battle can be won just by being nice when we do interact with the public. Basic good manners and a smile will leave them thinking there goes a nice person. Sooner or later when we crop up in a conversation they'll be more likely to defend us if others are being derogatory.

[Annaliese]

Yes, every time I see something like that, it going to make it harder for us as a group, for every step we make forward, they take us two back. We can't give up we all need to keep putting our self out there to show that most cross-dresser are not like that.

[Stephanie47]

I don't watch sitcoms too much. I certainly do not watch Jerry Springer type shows. Once in awhile I encounter a show that does have a transgendered person portrayed. I usually cannot see why the character was worked into the plot. It almost seems like pandering to a segment of society for an unknown reason. Being in a DADT marriage, it does bother me to see any cross dresser in a show because it makes my wife uncomfortable. If my wife is at home in the morning while I'm watching the Today Show, I don't think she realizes I'm taking in the pretty dresses the female hosts are wearing. When I'm out with my wife and we encounter a poorly dressed cross dresser with bad makeup that gives me an unsettling feeling because I am wondering what my wife thinks. My wife has never seen me en femme.

And, I totally agree with Linda that the public would not stand for ridicule for any protected minority.

[Jenniferathome]

Kim, I have a basic expectation that portrayals on TV will be negative or a joke. I am bothered that when crimes occur, and a cross dresser is involved, that connection is always front and center. So in the eyes of the normals, cross dresser = pervert rather than that pervert happens to have been cross dressed. The news always likes salaciousness if they can offer it up.

As for it revealing something about me.... no. I am not at all related to criminals and perverts. I do not see my circumstance as remotely similar.

[dawnmarrie1961]

It's not so much a need to thrust an explanation on them. Half the battle can be won just by being nice when we do interact with the public. Basic good manners and a smile will leave them thinking there goes a nice person. Sooner or later when we crop up in a conversation they'll be more likely to defend us if others are being derogatory.

Exactly. Just as our perception of others is swayed by their actions, so too is their perception of us also determined by ours.
I was once walking down the street and happened to pass by a man walking with his daughter. I said "Hello." as I went by. The little girl said "Hi." back to me. The father looked down and scolded the child saying "Don't talk to that freak! Somebody should put a gun to her head and pull the trigger!"
But I heard the daughter say. "But why? She seems like such a nice person."

Perception. The child did not perceptive me as a threat and responded in an appropriate manner to my greeting.
The father, being naturally protective of his offspring and drawing upon incorrect data, perceived me as a threat to the stability of the world around him and responded in a negative manner. Had his knowledge of TG's been correct he wouldn't have viewed me as a threat.

[Marleena]

Great thread Kim! I don't like the portrayal of us or negative media stories either. I think we have to get used to the fact we have no real control over this or what other people do/say. The LGBT community and TG spinoff groups are actively trying to change public perception. Unfortunately not enough CD/TG/TS people want to be associated with those groups.

[Kate Simmons]

As long as none of them sign my pay check, I could care less what people think. I'm all for TG rights but realized long ago that getting solidarity is damn near impossible. Either someone is afraid of being exposed or on the way marching to the courthouse most bail at the last minute. It's really up to us individually for the most part.

[Beverley Sims]

I get concerned about the skewed publicity we get....
Portrayed as some mindless freak or sexual predator of some kind.

[suzy1]

This is the main reason, perhaps the only reason why I will never come out to my family or anyone else.
Call me a coward if you want to, that’s O.K. with me.

[Lorileah]

I have said this before. The TG community gets pigeon holed for entertainment purposes. Yo won't sell a news story that says crossdresser saves puppy. I can promise you that if you did save a puppy the story would ignore the cross dressing part.

In the "real" world we are only seen as Clowns (the Milton Beryls, John Cleeses, Robin Williams (and later Nathan Lane with Robin Williams) the Tootsies. The over the top extreme comedic persons. There is hope though because 50 years ago other minorities were portrayed that way also.

Or we are perverts (ie the peeping Tom or the people everyone worries about in the women's room). That makes the news. But there is hope, several minorities were portrayed as sexual monsters before too.

Or we are criminals and especially murderers. Psycho, Silence of the Lambs. But don't worry, other minorities were portrayed that way in the past also (some still are).

Or we are all looking for SRS. Or we are all unbalanced.

Think for a moment. Name 5 TG people who have been shown in a positive light. It doesn't get noted or when it does it is buried (there are TG people in the government upper administrations). Of course there was Marv Albert...Oh he was listed in the pervert section.

Most TGs can fade away, disappear, hide. Most do. Look at the posts here. The number of people who won't tell anyone. Can't blame them,why would you want to be associated with Clowns, Psychopaths and Degenerates? Oh My. We know better. We have members in the armed forces, public safety, management, education, medicine. They can fix a car or fix a pipe. They can build a rocket ship. They can invent a new device to save lives or, find a cure for cancer, or they can bring world peace. But we don't advertize that. It doesn't catch attention. We need to do things that bring POSITIVE attention. And as long as we are only seen in glitter and thongs in the Pride parade, it ain't gonna happen

[STACY B]

That's why I always TELL,,,,Tell,,, If anyone asks I TELL ,,, Because for the simple fact they already know me ,, They know what I am about an how I live an what kind of person I am already ,, So then they will THINK ,,,, Hummmmm ,,, If he is like that an no one knew ,,, I wonder how many other people are like that ? An that way people don't think of us in a bad Light . I am the same person ,, Just correcting a little Malfunction from birth it will be all over soon an then we can get on with it ,,, All of it ,,lol,,,

Stand Back people ,,,, Let a Fat Girl through ,,,, STAND BACK !! LOL,,,,,

[dawnmarrie1961]

This is the main reason, perhaps the only reason why I will never come out to my family or anyone else.
Call me a coward if you want to, that’s O.K. with me.

Suzy, You are far from a coward. You continue to do what you feel is right for you and yours. Nobody has the right to judge you or anyone else for doing that.
Just as I don't have the right to judge those who persecute me nor do they have the right to be judged and persecuted by me. Wouldn't the world be so much better if we all just stopped judging and persecuting each other?

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Well said Lorileah. Aside from all that has been said, I'm reminded of a few other instances where publicity comes to include the fact that someone was a crossdresser involved in a crime or subject to public ridicule. There was once a couple in our town where the husband would be seen with scraggly long hair wearing yellow slacks. He looked like a freak and people noticed. Then there was a local CD who murdered "her" boyfriend. Then there is the pending case in Massachusetts of a TS who murdered her wife and is now in jail seeking SRS, and a judge mandated the state pay for it! What an uproar! Then there is another individual who rarely bathes and dresses poorly, and frequents local businesses. "She" once made the news by greeting a police officer at the door with a shotgun.

We can't help it with these individuals. But they sure cast a bad light on the rest of us who just want to blend in. No wonder we are negatively perceived.

Cheryl

[carhill2mn]

The answer is a resounding YES! It seems as if most of the media uses every opportunity to make inaccurate, inappropriate and uninformed remarks regarding any situation where a CD, T-girl, etc. person is somehow involved.

[CynthiaD]

Even the portrayals that try to be sympathetic get almost everything wrong.

But Hollywood gets everything wrong. I'm a computer expert in real life and I can safely say that no computer expert in the movies or on tv is anything like a real life computer expert. (No, we don't spend all our time hacking into the CIA. As if that we're possible.)

[kimdl93]

great comments, all! I would bet that Lori has saved lots of puppies, kitties and a few large animals too!

[ArleneRaquel]

If the American people, and this statement applies to all nationalities, use their thought process, they should then realize of all groups, sub groups, et al, contain people of all conceivable actions good or bad. But people love to sterotype and put others in the same box, especially if that box conforms with their own preconceived notions.

[Greenie]

Kim, I have a basic expectation that portrayals on TV will be negative or a joke. I am bothered that when crimes occur, and a cross dresser is involved, that connection is always front and center. So in the eyes of the normals, cross dresser = pervert rather than that pervert happens to have been cross dressed. The news always likes salaciousness if they can offer it up.

As for it revealing something about me.... no. I am not at all related to criminals and perverts. I do not see my circumstance as remotely similar.

I agree with this. I have only ever seen TWO positive(Ish) portrayals of CD's in mainstream television. one was on the MENTALIST about a kid who is found dead behind a drag club and one of the queens helps with the investigation. She shows up to the precinct in full dress. The end of the episode is actually really good. I would recommend that one. Really emotional ending about how they are all family and stuff.

There is now a transgender in GLEE on television. That show isn't very good though. But she is a MTF TS, she wasn't a major character until this year.

but no one ever talks about normal TG people.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Who thought the movie "TransAmerica" was an accurate portrayal of what it's like for someone transitioning from male to female? I didn't. The whole movie was filled with inaccuracy. The only redeeming factor was the underlying story about a father trying to build a relationship with his estranged son.
A much better transitioning movie was given to my wife by a therapist many years ago. She was having a hard time dealing with having a transgendered husband. It was a 2006 movie entitled "NORMAL" about A Midwestern husband and father announces his plan to have a sex change operation.Director:Jane Anderson.Writers:Jane Anderson (play), Jane Anderson (teleplay)Stars:Richard Bull, Mary Seibel, Danny Goldring.

[Karren H]

I typically don't get embarrassed at how others are portrayed even if I'm in that group but today at lunch I heard a radio station commercial that said.... "Tell us what you like...... I like banana pudding....... served on the breast of a Thai $hemale" and it thought how derogatory was that as I changed the channel.....

[Barbara Ella]

The public portrayal is overwhelmingly atrocious. Not just the entertainment arena, but the press.....OK, maybe they are just entertainment anymore too. They really don't care about reality. Just follow the case of the TG murdered in Cleveland, CeCe. The initial press coverage was atrociously uneducated. They used her mug shot from a previous arrest, as a male. Later corrections, after serious prodding, merely indicate the uneducated nature of society toward us right now, and I cringe.

All we can do is be ourselves and be civil as we go about our daily lives. Those that can, get involved.It won't change overnight.

Barbara