Public announcement at work this Friday - nervous!

[Jhustagurl]

Hello-
I have been progressing along the transition path for almost three years and, and will be officially transitioning at work shortly ( i have been FT in all other aspects of my life for a little over a year). I work in a very large public company and have been working closely with HR for the past 10 months to make my work transition happen. Their support has been incredible! Things are quickly coming to a head, as I have FFS in 16 days and will return from convalescence as my female self. This Friday I will make my first broad public disclosure to approx 50 people on a conference call. I hate the call format, but my team members are all over the country. I proceed the following with four in person site visit meetings around my region. The face 2 face meetings don't worry me so much, but the conference call really does. I am fretting over the fact that i won't be able to read faces and body expressions and thus not know how the message is being received. Have any of you had a similar experience, and, if so, how did you handle it and how did it go?

Thanks
JG

[Jorja]

Your nervousness is understandable. Just be strong and confident in yourself. Things will go better than you are imagining. Congratulations on this big step and enjoy.

[groove67]

have to say all mine was done at work with hr and myself face to face witrh people in my department and other depatments at the co. that was 18 months ago and all has gone very well. i am living as a woman 24/7 both at and away from work. many of the ladies at work have friended me and ask me out with the girls many times and have always made me feel comfortable. in my department i am only woman lol well will be soon, i hope things go as well for you jg.

[Leslie Langford]

I admire your courage, JG, and wish you all the best as you take this huge and daunting leap into somewhat unknown territory. Yes, such a conference call has the potential for being extremely nerve-wracking, not the least of which will be the long silences in between as people digest this significant news and search for the right words of acknowledgment. And while this is going on, your mind will be racing, wondering what the negative fall-out might be.

That said, there is also safety in numbers, and peer pressure will dictate that everyone on the call will feel the expectation to respond in the obligatory politically-correct manner, regardless what their inner-most feelings about such a revelation/on-the-job transition might be.

Your real challenge will occur later, when you will meet these people face-to face for the first time, and then be able to gauge directly how they really feel about all this. But by then, this will all be old news, and they will have had a chance to adapt to the new reality, even if it still makes them uncomfortable for whatever personal reasons they might have.

[Kathryn Martin]

I came out by email to clients, colleagues, Courts and professionals in my area. I could not judge a damn thing. It will be fine, just be aware that you will ultimately judged by your appearance. Don't give them any reason to be distracted from the jobs that you do.

[traci_k]

JG - I pray all goes well for you. Best wishes as you move forward with the next step in your transition and your surgery.
Hugs,

[Jhustagurl]

can't you compose a letter/email and send that out in advance of the conference call?

Deborah, i am actually send my letter to the attendees immediately after the call.

[DaniG]

JG, congratulations on your milestone. How very exciting! I'm sure you'll be fine. You seem to have planned everything well.

And welcome to the forum!

[Jhustagurl]

Why not send it before?

I want people to hear it from me directly. I am a fan of direct conversation when it is an option, and i dont want to appear as if I am hiding behind an email. I have worked with these people for almost a decade, and I owe them that. I would expect it of them

[Kathryn Martin]

I had to inform over 450 recipients in one shot. So Face to face was not an option.

[Angela Campbell]

I am just hoping I can announce it at work instead of an e mail going out telling everyone I no longer work with the company.

[emma5410]

I agree that face to face is better if possible. I have been in my current job for 13 years. I had about 60 people to tell and I did it in two large meetings. One of all the women and one of all the men. I told the women first and then went straight into a second meeting and told the men. The women gave me a totally unexpected round of applause and the men just stared at me. It was a pretty scary thing to do but I have had great support from everyone at work since I went full time. A lot of people said they were amazed by my courage in standing in front of them and telling them. Many said they could never have done it. Perhaps it brought home to them how serious and desperate I was. An email was sent out later explaining the situation in more detail. It was definitely the best way to do it. I think I won a lot of people over by telling them personally. I would not worry about not being able to see their faces. I did not learn very much from the faces of the men. It may even be a plus.

[Jhustagurl]

Thanks, Emma. Your words are inpirational. I have had a lot people tell me how brave they think i am, too. I ask them if they think that it is courageous to jump out of a burning building.....

[emma5410]

I ask them if they think that it is courageous to jump out of a burning building.....

That is exactly what I say but people still think I am brave. They are very well meaning but they really do not understand. Telling people that I was going to transition took courage but actually doing it was just something I had to do.

I know you cannot do it face to face but I think telling them verbally and following up with an email is the best way to do it if you can. Telling them personally seemed to work very well for me.

[josee]

I plan on sitting down with my boss in the next few weeks and starting the conversation. I am really nervous also.

[Maiko Newhalf]

Good luck JG. I respect your courage as it must have been difficult as the leader of large group of employees to come out. Let us know on how it goes~~

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Good luck

what you are doing (in person) is BY FAR a better thing to do..sending the letter afterwards will provide people that care time to absorb your decision..

[mary something]

Good luck, it seems that this is the culmination of a plan that you have been executing for a while. The only advice I can offer is what I would say to anyone giving a presentation like this and that is to practice out loud what you are going to say and record yourself. Listen to yourself and hone your words and emphasis to the exact meaning you wish to make. In a previous job I would sometimes have to give speeches or presentations to large groups of people and the preparation work I did beforehand really reduced my anxiety.

I think the call followed by an email/letter is an excellent idea!

[Jhustagurl]

Thanks for the encouragement, Mary. This definitely i nerve-wracking!

[Nicole Erin]

I wouldn't really worry. There are a few possible outcomes -
No one will even hear or care cause they will be too busy playing on facebook or texting.
A couple people might ask if you are planning on having what CIS folks call the "full surgery". That kind of probing question. Get it? "probing?" HAR HAR har haaarrr... uh, har? Yeah, anyways...
Hysterical laughter and derogatory jokes about gays or trans. This is not too likely though.

Just do like this -
Say, "Also, I have an announcement to make... then the intro to "man, I feel like a woman" plays and about the time the lyrics start, the music fades and you tell them what is up.

[Jhustagurl]

Well, Friday came and went and the world did not stop spinning (you may have heard!). My conference call with my work colleagues went extremely well, and i have recieved many emails, texts, and phone calls of support. I have several more meetings like that this week, all in person this time. By the end of the week i will hav informed everyone I need to and my name will change officially in the company HR records. Ten days until surgery!!!

[Rebecca W.]

Dear JG
It is great to hear that you are receiving all of that positive support from your company. I wish you a safe and a healthy recovery from your surgery.

[emma5410]

Congratulations. I really happy it went so well. When I returned to work everyone carried on as before and no one said anything. To be honest I found that a little weird but I should not complain.
When I first talked to my therapist about transitioning I told her that very few people at work would accept me. I was so wrong. At least on the surface. I guess they have their own lives and problems to worry about.
It is strange that other people are not as obsessed with me as I am.

[Jhustagurl]

It is strange that other people are not as obsessed with me as I am.

That is so true! This has been consuming an ever greater part of me for years, to the point now, right before the big day, it is everything to me. But for everyone else, it is just some other blip on the radar. I am looking forward to getting back to those days

[Stephanie-L]

I am so happy for you, it is such a relief when you can tell people and not have to hide any more. When I made my announcement at our bi-weekly staff meeting, I was surprised by a round of applause. Since then I have had no issues at work. Much luck and happiness to you..............Stephanie