A Change of Pace

[Nikki A.]

There are posters here who wish they could be the girl/woman that they feel that they are. There are times when I wonder if I would be happier being Nikki also.
However the the last few weeks have made me appreciate my life and all that passed. I've gotten to raise two great kids, both college grads, the second one just graduating this past week. If I had transitioned before I met my wife or after, how would have things changed.
As a widower, I've had the house to myself while they were both in college so Nikki had her chance to bloom. Now my son is back home since he found a job that he can commute to, its companionship for me, a hand with the bills and a chance for him to pay off a chunk of his college loans. So my time is a bit curtailled, but I still get a chance to dress (with the help of friends or some careful planning), just not as often. While a bit frustrating at times I can deal with it.
Maybe this a bit long winded but what I'm trying to say is that sometimes you just have to be thankful for what you have and no worry about what you may be missing.

[laura.lapinski]

This is a great post. Sometimes, we swim in the deep pools of our mind a little too much fretting over what we want. Best to be grateful for what is, and just live life as it comes. It doesn't mean we don't plan for the future. It just means get your pleasures from what IS, not what you don't have.

[Kate Simmons]

Well said my friend. I'm happy to hear that things are going well for you and yours. Maybe some day we'll get together at the club again if we are both able to.

[Beverley Sims]

I hear posts all the time about how they are a pain in the arse growing up, and how do I get rid of them so as I can dress.

I just stop and think, they were as much of my project growing up as presenting who I am now.
I am still not out to my kids but they give me companionship that is far outweighed by a few hours dressing.
I still say to others enjoy them whilst you can as they eventually share more of their life with others than with you.
Usually about fifteen years of communicable time.
I dress a lot when I travel, except when one of them still comes with us.
For those that do not have a relationship with their older children any more, I feel for you.

This still happens.

[Jaylyn]

I am like Nikki. I love my four kids they are all gone with families of their own. I don't want to come out mainly because of the relationship I have with them now. I don't know how it would influence them or my grand kids. If something happened to them I would give up dressing in a second to raise the grand kids. I am thankful for my family daily and am truly blessed with a great family. Yes we all need to count our many blessings and name them so we will not forget..you can tell I'm getting older if I don't say it I can forget it easier.

[kimdl93]

Nothing is better than having family nearby. Soon enough your son will move on, better off financially for your help. In the mean time, I know you'll enjoy having him there.

[Nikki A.]

Kate, I'll bring donuts if you make the coffee. It's true though, while I enjoyed the freedom of being able to dress whenever I wanted, I did find it a bit lonely at times, so I'll trade some freedom for the companionship for now. My daughter ( who I think might be more understanding, she accepts my "odd" fashion statements) is staying where she went to school about 1200 miles away.
Life is what we make of it, and like some of you have said, its nice to look at what we have accomplished instead of what we have missed.

[Angela Campbell]

A good attitude there. I prefer to think of what can be rather than what could have been.

[suzy1]

I love this thread Nikki.
In other words you are saying be thankful for what we have and not dwell on what we can’t have.
Life is for having fun and we only get one life so it’s too precious to waste a moment of it hankering on what we cant have.

Suzy.

[Nikki A.]

Suzy you hit the nail on the head .
I may make one ugly broad, but at least I turned into a decent parent lol

[Norah_joy]

I can relate to what you are saying, Nikki. To me, its all about trying to find the right balance. We will be celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary later this year. I look back over that period of time and can see how blessed I am: three grown kids and two grandkids. Only my wife knows that I dress. My wife insists that I dress only at home when she isn't at home. Would I prefer more than that? Of course I would. But I stick to the agreement and try to think up ways to get her out of the house. Lol.

Norah