I'm Normal Right?

[Monica_Cobblestone]

This maybe a bit of a personal question, but I thought I'd ask it anyway.

I've been on HRT for 2 years today . As most trans-woman (or so I thought) I stopped producing reproductive fluids after about 2 months of taking my t-blockers. Now I say all this because the guy that I have been seeing has told me he finds it odd that I don't ejaculate. He has brought it up a few times actually always ending his statement with, "The girls I've been with in the past all ejaculated." Besides the statements he makes about the other girls he's been with and the requests for me to assume a man's role partner sometimes, he's a nice guy.

So my question is, I'm normal right? Is my body doing what it's suppose to be doing after 2yrs on HRT? Are there exceptions to the rule? Do some women still produce after being on HRT for an extended period of time?

It's to my understanding that trans-woman can't go more than 6 months on HRT without losing that function. It's a part of the process. I'm starting to think he maybe wasn't with transsexuals, but crossdressers (which is totally cool if he was). Or maybe the girls he was with stopped HRT to produce again?

I really hope this doesn't create a problem in the future with us. However, I've told him that I can't and won't provide him with the porn star experience. It would be a COLD day in hell before I stop HRT for a man. Sometimes I get the vibe that he's a bit of a tranny chaser because of some of the things he says. I really try to be understanding, open minded, non judgemental, and accepting so I let it slide. He definitely makes me wonder though.

Anyway, I'm rambling now.

[Michelle.M]

This maybe a bit of a personal question, but I thought I'd ask it anyway.

Maybe, but it's YOUR personal question! Fire away!

As most trans-woman (or so I thought) I stopped producing reproductive fluids after about 2 months of taking my t-blockers.

Actually, it's probably the estrogen that's doing that for you. Semen comes from the prostate and as estrogen takes effect the prostate shrinks and atrophies, causing a decrease in ejaculate fluid.

For me, this was actually a good barometer of my hormone levels. When I found myself starting to produce more fluid (or any at all) odds are my estrogen was low. When my doctor increased my T-blockers the estrogen would work better and fluid output decreased.

So my question is, I'm normal right? Is my body doing what it's suppose to be doing after 2yrs on HRT?

Yes

Are there exceptions to the rule?

Yes

Do some women still produce after being on HRT for an extended period of time?

Yes. Please don't worry. Your sense of what is happening with your body should not be based on your guy's experiences with other girls any more than that should be the case for genetic women. There are marked variations among trans women just as there are among genetic women.

. . . the guy that I have been seeing has told me he finds it odd that I don't ejaculate. He has brought it up a few times actually always ending his statement with, "The girls I've been with in the past all ejaculated." Besides the statements he makes about the other girls he's been with and the requests for me to assume a male role sometimes, he's a nice guy.

Okaaayy . . .

There's a reason why the girls before you ejaculated. Either they're the exceptions, or their hormones levels are wrong or their female physicality is more surgical than hormonal.

Um, did he say where he met those girls?

I really hope this doesn't create a problem in the future with us.

If it does, you're better off without him.

However, I've told him that I can't and won't provide him with the porn star experience. It would be a COLD day in hell before I stop HRT for a man.

Exactly! You're in transition, and your treatment is a core element of that transition. Does he not understand that? Does he not respect that? Or is he obsessed with a fantasy? If that's the case he can find someone to satisfy that urge quite easily on Craigslist.

Sometimes I get the vibe that he's a bit of a tranny chaser because of some of the things he says. I really try to be understanding, open minded, non judgemental, and accepting so I let it slide. He definitely makes me wonder though.

I'm glad you said that, because that's exactly what I was thinking. Nobody in a relationship should compare the current person with the past ones. If the others were so great why isn't he still with them? (again, I have my suspicions, and perhaps money was involved?)

[mary something]

I agree that you sound very normal. It could mean he's been on the "casual encounters" page lol, but it could also mean he's been watching a lot of porn. It's really common for a lot of guys to enjoy watching porn. It's a billion dollar business, somebody's paying for it right? As far as guys go he's probably more normal if he does watch porn sometimes than if he doesn't If he's not real proud of his porn habit it wouldn't be uncommon for him to act like a guy and phrase his question in a way that makes him look more "manly" lol, by bragging about past conquests instead of just saying "hey, I watch a lot of porn and noticed those girls are diferent from you in these ways".

It's standard procedure for the girls who work in porn to have to stop taking their hrt for 2 weeks before a shoot so they can regain some of their male functioning. Just a businsess decision for the studios cause they know what sells the best. Maybe this is what put the idea of penetration and ejaculation in his head?

If he is getting some of these ideas and perceptions from porn, which your "pornstar experience" comment suggested to me, then that's not as big a deal in my opinion. I know some girls who don't allow their SO's to look at porn or even movies with nudity, but all that happens is they're SO's sneak around their back and do it anyway.

At the end of the day he's at least watching transsexual porn, not gay or kiddie porn or something that would be a serious problem.

Sounds to me like you're in a relationship with a nice guy who likes some porn on the side but maybe is kinda sensitive about it. Sounds pretty normal to me You could always mention it casually and in a nonthreatening way sometime to get some idea also? Maybe something like "hey, every guy I've ever known well likes porn occasionally. Just curious, what is your favorite type?" If he admits to liking transsexual porn then that's a good thing right? You're a Tgirl. That will give you an opportunity to educate him on what part of that porn is fantasy and what is reality. It will also give you an opportunity to find out how to spice things up with him, but never in a way that makes you feel bad or invalidates you of course. That is just what healthy couples do, good luck!

[Badtranny]

He's not for you. He wants something different than you are interested in providing.

He hasn't had all of these wonderful T-girl experiences in freakin' Maryland. He's been watching Tranny Porn and most of the working girls are forced to be 'switch' girls by the economics of the situation. The girls with working, um ...hardware who can 'top' big burly men are in huge demand because that is the big fantasy.

I've mentioned a few times on here that as a confirmed bird lover, I've seen a cockatoo, and an easy 90% of the men I've been with have wanted me to 'top' them. It makes sense I guess, why be attracted to a chick with a dick if you don't want her to use it on you? I understand what they want and I really understand why they want it, but I am definitely not their girl. I don't top anybody ever. It ain't my thing and it doesn't sound like it's your thing either.

Oh by the way, you're totally normal, I've been dry since 6 mos on the juice.

[Inna]

Just as Melissa answered, what he is referring to are ********, or crossdressing Males, many Non Transsexual Transgenders opt for No Hormones, just because they would otherwise loose the ability...... I am not saying he is, however, by the description you have given, this guy seems a tranny-chaser. I for one run opposite direction when someone from T community tells me "This guy likes you, he hangs out with trannies"....ughhhhhhhhh...
But your female body is doing what it must, you are perfectly fine!

[I Am Paula]

I've had a few guys hit on me in my time. Sometimes if they're just nice guys, I'll sit and talk with them, have a drink, but I'm usually not interested. However, somehow they always mange to bring up 1) They're not gay! 2) They're single, despite the ring tan 3) They want to be topped by a girl with something extra. Refer to rule #1.

[Zaack]

-puts hands up-

Unfortunately, I once had the same perspective . I have never talked or been with a transgendered female, however I stupidly had my fantasies as priority rather than treating them as a) valued human beings, but also b) women

I want to apologise to you girls both for myself but also on other males (including the OPs SO) behalf.

I hope (if this is the case with him) that he realises what he is doing and treats you properly.

Otherwise, tell him to take a long walk on a short jetty

[KellyJameson]

Is he expecting you to get an erection and ejaculate while topping him or is he expecting you to ejaculate by being topped because of your prostate being massaged?

Ask yourself how you feel about topping someone because that can cause the very unpleasant experience of sexual dissonance where you are trying to use your body in ways that do not feel "natural"

Sex can cause much unhappiness for the transsexual because you are trying to use a body that makes no sense to live in or with

Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something that does not feel "right" for you and definitely do not allow someone to make you feel bad about yourself or in any way "abnormal"

Thank God you called him a nice guy because otherwise he could be very insensitive to your emotional needs while pursuing his sexual needs.

[groove67]

totally i say my dear. man i am with likes the way i am with my feelings and never ever brings that up. after all when you are on blockers and female hormones what would any guy expect? i know my inner feelings are not male so what does he want you to be? my guy loves that i react as female and so do i.

[Monica_Cobblestone]

Actually, it's probably the estrogen that's doing that for you. Semen comes from the prostate and as estrogen takes effect the prostate shrinks and atrophies, causing a decrease in ejaculate fluid.
For me, this was actually a good barometer of my hormone levels. When I found myself starting to produce more fluid (or any at all) odds are my estrogen was low. When my doctor increased my T-blockers the estrogen would work better and fluid output decreased.

I would say it was both my t-blocker and the estrogen. They both suppress testosterone; the t-blocker just does it better, faster, and at a much lower dose.

Okaaayy . . .

There's a reason why the girls before you ejaculated. Either they're the exceptions, or their hormones levels are wrong or their female physicality is more surgical than hormonal.

Um, did he say where he met those girls?

No he didn't and quite honestly I don't think I want to know haha. I didn't want to know about them in the first place. I should probably ask though.

You're in transition, and your treatment is a core element of that transition. Does he not understand that? Does he not respect that? Or is he obsessed with a fantasy? If that's the case he can find someone to satisfy that urge quite easily on Craigslist.

He understands that the hormones are a needed part of my transition and he's never asked me to stop. He definitely respects that aspect. He doesn't quite grasp the physiology of it and how the drugs affect my body, but he has the basic concept. I've explained it to him very basically. I don't hold that against him though, most transwoman don't even understand that and they're on the darn drugs haha. I wouldn't say that this is a fantasy for him anymore since he knows for a fact that he likes it. It's definitely developed into a fetish at this point. I feel like maybe he has come to a point where when he's with a transwoman these things (topping and ejaculating) are expected because of his past experiences. He's never rude about it when he brings it up. It never feels like he means to demean me or make me feel inadequate. How he speaks I get an "observational tone" in his voice if that makes any sense at all. I do agree that the mention of the other girls is a bit unfair and I have spoken my piece on that recently. Maybe money was involved, but I doubt it. I honestly wouldn't be surprised though. Not because he's a sleaze, but because people in this community don't surprise me anymore in general haha. I don't think they were prostitutes though. He doesn't give the prostitute vibe. Not only that, they're surprisingly a lot of girls out that are top-only or do enjoy topping at least. I was surprised at one point by the number of girls I met who are top only or enjoy topping.

I agree that you sound very normal. It could mean he's been on the "casual encounters" page lol, but it could also mean he's been watching a lot of porn. It's really common for a lot of guys to enjoy watching porn. It's a billion dollar business, somebody's paying for it right? As far as guys go he's probably more normal if he does watch porn sometimes than if he doesn't .

He has told me he watches TS porn only. Which was one of the comments that made me think that he had tranny chaser tendencies, among other things he has done.

...phrase his question in a way that makes him look more "manly" lol, by bragging about past conquests instead of just saying "hey, I watch a lot of porn and noticed those girls are diferent from you in these ways"....Maybe this is what put the idea of penetration and ejaculation in his head?

That maybe could be it because I really don't see how EVERY girl he's been with ejacuated. OK, so say they're a rare few of transitioning girls that still can ejacuate, which, I find incredibly difficult to wrap my head around - I'm sure they're not enough floating around for him to have this experience every time. Then again he was stationed in Germany for 3 years so....I asked about the porn thing putting the idea in his head. That's one of the first things I ask when ever a men even approaches, "How much TS porn have you seen?" haha. That's how MOST of them get introduced to us in the first place. Ugh, stupid porn industry. Anyway, his response was it's just what he likes and got into why he likes it. I don't fault him for liking what he likes or view him as any less of a man, but it pegs the question how does he view me? Am I just his "Tgirl?" The chick with the tool? Or am I his woman? And this is where he and I disconnect on the issue. He wouldn't want me to emasculate him so why masculinize me? I'm definitely not one of those hypersensitive transwoman that take everything as an attack on their female identity, but I'm transitioning to move away from my male body for a reason. I'm not transitioning to be the "best of both worlds." And I think that's what he, and most men for that matter, fail to understand.

Sounds to me like you're in a relationship with a nice guy who likes some porn on the side but maybe is kinda sensitive about it. Sounds pretty normal to me You could always mention it casually and in a nonthreatening way sometime to get some idea also?

He is a very nice guy and I really care about him . We get along great! We talk very openly about sex. I always try to keep the area of communication as open as possible and try to be open-minded. I like that my partner can come talk to about sex openly. So long as the discussion is a two-way street and spoken with open minds and understanding.

If he admits to liking transsexual porn then that's a good thing right? You're a Tgirl. That will give you an opportunity to educate him on what part of that porn is fantasy and what is reality. It will also give you an opportunity to find out how to spice things up with him, but never in a way that makes you feel bad or invalidates you of course. That is just what healthy couples do, good luck!

I absolutely loathe any porn given title for transsexuals in reference to me haha. So no, I'm not a "T-girl" haha. I think as a 24y/o independant woman I've passed the "girl" phase of life . I have tried to do a little educating, but he likes what he likes. Eventually it's going to build a wedge between us. I don't think he and I are going to last very long now that I've been really thinking about it. The more I start saying no to these requests the more he's going to get frustrated and look elsewhere. Like you said in the beginning of your post he's been looking in the "casual encounters" section haha. The girl that will be willing to do these things are only a click away. I wouldn't know how else to spice things up other than to give in and top him and stop HRT so I could ejaculate. Thank you for your reply and well wishes though .

He's not for you. He wants something different than you are interested in providing.

I wouldn't say I'm 100% opposed to it. Maybe more like 98% opposed to it. The thing that bothers me is if I do this just once, then the 80 him top/20 me top deal he proposed (which I'm not stupid, he wants it more than that) would slowly turn into a 60/40 deal, then 50/50, then 20/80, etc. haha. He's an awesome guy and I'd be sad to lose him, but yeah you make a good point.

He hasn't had all of these wonderful T-girl experiences in freakin' Maryland. He's been watching Tranny Porn and most of the working girls are forced to be 'switch' girls by the economics of the situation. The girls with working, um ...hardware who can 'top' big burly men are in huge demand because that is the big fantasy.

He was in Germany for a few years before getting stationed back in the states. I think that's where it all happened. I wasn't interested enough to really dig into it. I'm pretty that's where it went down though haha. I'm not even sure of how many he's been with either. It could be two for all I know haha.

It makes sense I guess, why be attracted to a chick with a dick if you don't want her to use it on you?

Because she's pretty, funny, smart, articulate, tall, he likes being around her....no? That doesn't apply here? Darn...haha.

I understand what they want and I really understand why they want it, but I am definitely not their girl. I don't top anybody ever. It ain't my thing and it doesn't sound like it's your thing either.

I found a forum for males that like transsexuals and I got a deep understanding of why they want to be topped. Reading through that forum really opened my eyes to it all haha. It's like you know why they want it, but it completely clicks when you hear it from the source. I was also a little disgusted and saddened by some of the things said in that forum.

Thank you for replying.

Just as Melissa answered, what he is referring to are ********, or crossdressing Males, many Non Transsexual Transgenders opt for No Hormones, just because they would otherwise loose the ability...... I am not saying he is, however, by the description you have given, this guy seems a tranny-chaser. I for one run opposite direction when someone from T community tells me "This guy likes you, he hangs out with trannies"....ughhhhhhhhh...
But your female body is doing what it must, you are perfectly fine!

I've told him that once haha. I told him that he has tranny chaser tendencies and thought my mother told me to stay away from men like him. He just laughed and said I had him pegged wrong. If only I had a $50 bill deposited into my bank account for every time I've heard that line. I'd have a new pair of Christian Louboutins every couple of months haha.

[Zaack]

I don't fault him for liking what he likes or view him as any less of a man, but it pegs the question how does he view me? Am I just his "Tgirl?" The chick with the tool? Or am I his woman? And this is where he and I disconnect on the issue. He wouldn't want me to emasculate him so why masculinize me? I'm definitely not one of those hypersensitive transwoman that take everything as an attack on their female identity, but I'm transitioning to move away from my male body for a reason. I'm not transitioning to be the "best of both worlds." And I think that's what he, and most men for that matter, fail to understand.

If your SO can understand and accept that you are actually a woman (and understands and accepts the very real possibility that you may want sexual reassignment surgery in the future) then you will have a great future and relationship together.

Otherwise, he is not accepting you for who you really are. -hugs-