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Thread: Sales Assistants

  1. #1
    Junior Member AnnabelleBethanie's Avatar
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    Sales Assistants

    Hey everyone,

    I had an interesting encounter with a sales assistant yesterday. This was my second ever time buying female items in a shop (or ever for that matter), the first one was a nerving experience (buying bra's and knickers) but when I went to pay nothing was said about who they were for.

    However, yesterday I decided it was time to buy some nail varnish so I went into the Boots chemist to buy some and some nail varnish remover so I can remove the nail varnish. Having gone in intending to only buy the remover and one or two bottles, I ended up buying the remover and 6 bottles. But the interesting encounter came when I got to the checkout, the first thing the sales assistant asked me was if it was for me. Being nervous about it (and her being similar to my age and very attractive), I quickly invented a story about it being for my sister's birthday (she probably saw through that immediately!).

    This was my first experience of this; in retrospect I'm kind of wishing I had just been honest and said it was for me (partly to see the reaction).

    I have a few of questions for others though:

    1) How would you have responded in the situation?
    2) How long did it take before you were comfortable enough to be honest and say they were for you?
    3) How often do sales assistants ask you if it is for you?

    Hugs,

    Annabelle-Bethanie

  2. #2
    Dee DeeArel's Avatar
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    1. I would have told her they were for me given she was attractive and of similar age. Who knows where that would have gone.
    2. I have been purchasing items for over 40 years. I can't remember when I was comfortable with the honest answer but it has been more than 39 years.
    3. It is not often that an SA asks if it is for me.

    My favorite repsonse if some one asks if the items are for me is "Everything I purchase is for me but I am not always the one that will be wearing it."

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member aprilgirl's Avatar
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    Had it been only my second time buying some feminine items, like you Annabelle, I would've conjured up some excuse about them being for someone else. Chances are, particularly if you were exhibiting signs of nervousness, she more than likely did see the ruse. All I can say is it will get easier over time for you. If that happened to me tomorrow, more than likely, I'd smile and say "yep...it's for me".

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member Sabrina133's Avatar
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    I think the first time an SA asked me if it was for me was at a Frederics's of Hollywood. I'd been buying clothing in stores for awhile then so was used to it. The SA was my age (or there abouts) and am assuming i wasn't her first cross dresser. I answered that yes it was for me. She complimented me on my choices - was buying lingerie. She made suggestions for and showed me some other stuff as well. She made some serious money on me that day. As i was paying i remember her asking if I was going to "Have the Operation?" When i told her no, she seemed disappointed.

  5. #5
    Rotten 80's child Nicole Erin's Avatar
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    Mostly the sales clerks do not care who buys what or if anyone buys anything. They get paid by the hour and all they care about is wanting their shift to be over. Only if they are getting some kind of real commission do they care about sales.
    Even if you had said, "yes it is for me", the worst that would happen is she would giggle about it after you left but her thoughts would quickly turn to, "Is it time to leave yet? This place is boring".
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Sabrina133's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicole Erin View Post
    ...They get paid by the hour and all they care about is wanting their shift to be over ...
    Even if you had said, "yes it is for me", the worst that would happen is she would giggle about it after you left but her thoughts would quickly turn to, "Is it time to leave yet? This place is boring".
    How so very true. reminds me of the scene in Pretty woman when she's shopping and the snobby SA wont serve her...

  7. #7
    Senior Member rachael.davis's Avatar
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    Hi AnnaBelle
    a quick defuse in the situation is to give a genuine smile, and ask her if she wants the story that you lost a bet, or the story your wife is sick, and you're doing her shopping

  8. #8
    Member boink's Avatar
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    The first couple of times I bought things at a store and I got asked (which was infrequent) I would usually make some excuse about it being a gift.

    But that is long gone now and I have no problem buying items, trying on things, etc. when I'm out and about whether en femme or not. The vast majority of the time the sales associates don't even ask about them, and when they do I have no trouble saying they're for me.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member
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    there is something liberating when you say "it's for me" - for the most part sales attendants relax as if you've told them a secret that you trusted them to keep or they focus on how to get you to buy more stuff. Nevertheless, I think telling stories doesn't really work well, at least not for me.

    the usual banter goes something like this when i shop en drab:

    SL: can I help you with anything?
    me: i'm just looking
    SL: is it something for a wife or a girlfriend?
    me: no, it's for me
    SL: {smiling} {informs me of all the store specials}

    I don't have to do that much, unless the personnel changes at my usual stores. But I develop a relationship with them and actually buy stuff. After i've "broken them in" they just start a room for me when I have an armful of clothes.

  10. #10
    New Member Sindy Lovelace's Avatar
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    Annabelle,
    Shopping in drab is no reason not to try on the garments. I go shopping often and when browsing the oft approach from a sales assistant is "can I help". Of course, the answer is "Do you have a size...". When the converstaion goes to "well you can always bring it back if it does not fit her", the reply is "well, actually its is for me.. may I try it on?" Provided that you are not out to make a spectacle, most shop assitants do not mind, especially if the shop is quiet. Of course as for our femme sisters there is no obligation to buy (especially if it does not fit, or look right). Trying on lingerie in Knickerbox, Jacque Vert in Selfriges, evening dresses in Evans will help you explore your femme fashion sense.
    Have fun and live the life
    X X X

  11. #11
    Luv doing girl stuff CherylFlint's Avatar
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    After many years and way too many frustrating experiences with, this is what I’ve come up with that works for me:
    When shopping in drab, I carry a couple of nice photos of Cheryl in my wallet.
    I walk up to a saleslady and say “Hello, this is me (show her the photo) and I would appreciate some help on stockings, makeup, whatever.”
    If she gets all flustered and nervous, I say “Sorry to have bothered you” and leave, and go and spend my money somewhere else.

  12. #12
    Senior Member
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    By all means, DO go into any store you choose and tell the SA you're looking for yourself. It helps if you can be somewhat specific about what you are looking for, because they usually have a suggestion or two. I go dress shopping regularly, dressed as well as in drab, and have always been treated in a professional, nonjudgmental manner. I have never been refused a fitting room and the SA is always willing to tell you whether the fit, color, style are right for you.

    Shopping like this is an extremely uplifting experience (even if you're not bra shopping - lol). The thrill of seeing yourself for the first time in that perfect dress is amazing! Then, for an added bonus, ask your SA for her opinion. The boost of affirmation will have you walking on air. I know, it's partly salesmanship just to ensure closing the deal, but still, it's an addicting, liberating experience. GO!!! NOW!!!! And leave the cover stories at the door!

  13. #13
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I lied my head off for years and then just accepted it, it was easy.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  14. #14
    Glamerous Granny carolinewalker_2000's Avatar
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    It takes time to build self-confidence but, with time, I have found it much easier to say "they are for me". When I have "owned up" I have received nothing but curtesy and help from sales assistants.
    [SIZE="3"]Caroline

    Tranny Granny
    [/SIZE]

  15. #15
    Transgender Member Dianne S's Avatar
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    I think the question was out of line; it's no-one's business why you're buying anything.

    My response would have been: "Why do you ask?"

  16. #16
    Silver Member Angela Campbell's Avatar
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    I have not ever been asked who anything is for. If I was I would just say yes it is for me.

    I dunno....maybe it is obvious who it is for.
    Last edited by Angela Campbell; 06-05-2013 at 07:54 PM.
    All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?

  17. #17
    Silver Member stephNE's Avatar
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    Every now and then a sales girl will ask me "are these for you?" in a way that is sort of making a joke. When I tell her yes, they are, their expression usually changes to suddenly serious.
    Stephanie

  18. #18
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Never had a problem saying its for me when asked.
    Most SA's don't seem to mind, some get into it.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.
    Expert plumpologist

  19. #19
    Senior Member mikiSJ's Avatar
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    Six months ago, I wouldn't even go into a store to buy something feminine. Now, while I don't go dressed, I always announce I am buying for Miki.

    Last Friday I visited a bareMinerals store and told the SA (Loni, one of the cutest ~25 y/o SAs I've met) that I was buying for Miki and $200 later I walked out feeling giddy.

    I have had only one somewhat bad experience and that was at christmas last year in a Nordie's where I probably ran into a holiday temp.
    When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.

  20. #20
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    Next time get a scrap of paper an hold it up in front of you an act like your reading it at the register an they will think your shopping for your wife ,, The List ,,, The ol dreaded Man list ,,lol,,, Works every time !!
    You can buy anything with the Man List ,, An they will help a Poor Dummy Man in distress everytime !!

  21. #21
    Blondes Have More Fun Jennifer Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Never had a problem saying its for me when asked.
    Most SA's don't seem to mind, some get into it.
    I've never been asked that question yet, although I did get a knowing look one time in Kohl's. From what I've read on this site, it seems to be the younger SA's who have no problem with it.

  22. #22
    Junior Member AnnabelleBethanie's Avatar
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    In all honesty Suzanne, I would love to leave the stories at the door - ideally the door of the house not the door of the shop! I would much rather have the confidence and honesty to say it was for me when asked...

    Excuses are a little bit hard to come by, being only 19 I'm not able to use the wife excuse... Yeah, she was definitely a younger one - she must have been somewhere between 18-20.

    It is a little bit of a comfort reading some of these posts though!

    Maybe one day soon I'll actually be able to say the things are for me... With how nervous and awkward I find it at times they probably see through any story I try to invent anyway! Which is why my first shopping experience was marginally easier since there was no question asked about who the items were for! I don't really mind being asked - I just wish I was more convincing with the excuses or had the confidence to be bold and tell the truth that it was for me...

    Annabelle-Bethanie

  23. #23
    Blondes Have More Fun Jennifer Kelly's Avatar
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    I hear you, Annabelle. When I'm shopping I usually I have my phone out so I can act like I'm looking up something my wife/girlfriend said she liked. And actually used it one time when I couldn't find a pair of jeans I was looking for. I showed the SA the picture on my phone and said "I'm looking for these jeans for my girlfriend for her birthday, do you have them in size 16?". She pointed me to the proper section and all was well. Maybe some day I won't need to make up stories anymore.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Amanda M's Avatar
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    A nice little tale from some time ago. My wife wanted a particular handbag from a chain of shoe stores. I went to get the bag for her, and thought a pair of matching court shoes would be a nice gift for her. Asked the SA, who told me she could not help, but would check their other branch - they had the shoes, so off I went to the other shop, where I showed the SA I wanted a pair of shoes to match. I asked for a size 5, which she brought, and asked "Are these for you? I said no, in fact they're for my wife. "Why do you ask", I said, and she replied "Well I reckon yo take an 8 and these would be too small for you. When I asked if she regularly had men buying ladies shoes for themselves, she said "Practically every other day, so if you ever want a pair, you know where to come", with a smile and a wink. This, in the tiny town of Oswaldtwistle in Lancashire! What a great girl!
    If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!

  25. #25
    Member julia marie's Avatar
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    One way to diffuse most questions like this or any concern about getting funny looks: If you're in a general department store, pick up all the girlie stuff you want, and then spend another two bucks on a pink gift bag (save it for a real gift for someone). Or, ask for a gift receipt.

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