Question about changing into a real woman

[ReineD]

Thanks again for all your replies!

Several of you have said that your desire to be sexy comes from your male libido ... the male part of yourselves that is attracted to beautiful women. So you're really dressing to appeal to yourselves sexually? This is what is so confusing to me and I gather to a lot of GGs. Most of us don't dress to appeal sexually to ourselves. When we dress as attractively or sexily (is this a word?) as possible, it is to appeal to the object of our love interests which is generally a man (for hetero GGs). We do like to look nice for ourselves but that's just good grooming, which is an entirely different look than an attempt to look as sexually enticing or as hot as possible.

So because we do try to entice men when we dress in a certain way (as opposed to trying to entice ourselves), we do frequently wonder if you dress or want to look enticing for the same reasons that we do. This is why so many wives wonder if their husbands dress for other men.

It really is about the love of oneself as a woman isn't it ... even if it doesn't culminate in sexual release?

... would they then be just like all the other girls that wear Mini Skirts an Super high heels an Real short shorts an skimpy little tops out in public an the LOOK at you like a Pervert when you look at them ? An have all the men after them an chasing them wanting something special from them ,, So why would you want to attract MEN an then just push them away ?

Stacy, honestly I don't know any women like that except in the movies or perhaps some of the very young, immature college girls. I'm afraid that you're describing a stereotype. Just think of all the women who live on your street, and all your female family members. What percentage of these women fit the mold of outright teasers you've just described?

[docrobbysherry]

Thanks again for all your replies!

Several of you have said that your desire to be sexy comes from your male libido ... the male part of yourselves that is attracted to beautiful women. So you're really dressing to appeal to yourselves sexually? This is what is so confusing to me and I gather to a lot of GGs. Most of us don't dress to appeal sexually to ourselves. When we dress as attractively or sexily (is this a word?) as possible, it is to appeal to the object of our love interests which is generally a man (for hetero GGs). We do like to look nice for ourselves but that's just good grooming, which is an entirely different look than an attempt to look as sexually enticing or as hot as possible.

So because we do try to entice men when we dress in a certain way (as opposed to trying to entice ourselves), we do frequently wonder if you dress or want to look enticing for the same reasons that we do. This is why so many wives wonder if their husbands dress for other men.-----------------

You've in effect, answered your own question, Reine! Most of us r straight and r attracted to beautiful women. So, if we r able to create a look that attracts us, why wouldn't we?

Most of us ARE trying attract a man when we try to look hot. Unlike straight females, tho, that man is only OURSELVES!

[Barbara Dugan]

Interesting question, when I dress is mostly to be attractive to guys, I usually put my best effort and most of the time the results show and definitively not for me because I am not attracted to any female and to be honest
lately I've been feeling inadequate as a transvestite and that feeling is blocking my relationship with guys as a result I've been sexless for a long time and that kind of feeling trigger the desire to be a whole female and not necessarily an attractive one.

[Cheryl T]

Good question Reine. I'm certainly not adverse to just being me and that would include being my "sister" rather than some model were I given the chance. Vanity dictates that we would prefer to be attractive and so on, but for me that would not be a deal breaker.
As a matter of fact, I dressed for one Halloween years ago and my wife and I went to visit my parents. We brought pictures from that night and my mom didn't recognize me. When we told her it was me she said to my father, "want to see what your daughter would have looked like if we had had one?".
That made me happy, one that I went unrecognized and two that she thought her daughter would have looked like me...she seemed "proud" if I can say that.

Actually, I'm happy with the way I look. I'm at ease with my height and weight. My only desire would be to have my own hair as nature has seen to it that that won't ever happen now. It would just be so nice not to "have" to wear a wig, but to have the option to if I so desired.

[kellycan27]

I agree with Sherry .. I think it's a matter of emulating that which they themselves see as sexy or appealing in a woman.

[Eryn]

I'm not attracted to men and I'm nowhere near young and cute so I guess the answer is that I prefer female modes of expression. It might well be "grass is greener" syndrome, but it is certainly an adventure finding out!

If I had a magic wand and was willing to give up all that I have experienced in life (which I certainly am not) I'd go whole hog, including giving myself an appreciation for men. At that point the question would be moot as I'd be a GG with no memories of a male past.

[Lorileah]

So because we do try to entice men when we dress in a certain way (as opposed to trying to entice ourselves), we do frequently wonder if you dress or want to look enticing for the same reasons that we do.

Yes...to entice men...and women...and whatever gender

[Jenni Yumiko]

Most of us are pretty lucky in life even if we don't see it. We could have been born extremely poor, we could have been born into an oppresive country and government or religon, we could have been born into a jungle tribe, etc.

Off topic but I really really like this statement. We take a lot for granted and things could always be worse.

I still wouldn't change I like who I am and who I can be for an hour or two sometimes.

[STACY B]

I meant the ones That Do Look at you Crazy ,,lol,, Not all of them in general ,, Just the certain ones that look at a Man in disgust when they are Looking at them really hard for what they are wearing ,,,,

[sandra-leigh]

Remember the genie / magic wish stories you read in your youth? Not in all of them, but in many of them, the magic wish came with a catch, or the wish was deliberately interpreted so that everything asked for was provided but something nasty that was overlooked was given at the same time. For example, "I wish to have the body of a 20 year old!" might get you the body of a 20 year old who has a bad case of cystic fibrosis. And sometimes the way it works in the stories is that the greedier you are in the wish, the less likely the result is to be favorable to you.

From time to time I muse over what I would wish for, how I would phrase things to get my desires and avoid the negatives -- and muse over what I would ask for in order to avoid the "too greedy" penalties.

What I find that I have arrived at as my starting point for elaboration, the base to put polishing touches upon, comes down to "female and reasonably healthy". After that I waffle a bit, about whether I would next specify "at least as intelligent as I am now", or next specify something about attractiveness.

As it would be a wish, Yes, I would specify an attractiveness beyond my male level, but not from vanity but from loneliness: if even only 1 in 100 thought I was attractive enough to flirt gently with, that would be way more than now.

[Kimberly Kael]

I was curious about the CDers who are female-attracted.

My reasons back when I did think of myself as a cross-dresser weren't always that clear, but it wasn't about attracting anyone else. It was (and still is following my transition) about self confidence and pride. That may have something to do with what I find attractive in the first place, which is a woman who is confident, pleasant, and takes good care of herself and her appearance. Someone who doesn't need constant reassurance, who brings a spark of her own to a conversation or a relationship, is someone I enjoy being around. Why wouldn't I want to be that woman?

[Beth-Lock]

Here's a thought. Men's idea of sex/romance is wrapped up, primarily in appearance, while women's in the relationship. Men think first of appearance, and let the relationship factor fall into line.

[susan54]

There is one important aspect missing from this thread. Recent UK press articles claimed that women spent more time getting ready for a night out with the girls than a date. So why can't men who dress up be more interested in impressing women than another man? I cannot be alone in having zero zilch interest in attracting men. If I did (most unlikely|), I would very quickly devise an escape route. If I attracted a lesbian, on the other hand (probably equally unlikely) ....

[prene]

OK
To me I would not have to be pretty. I would want to be attractive to the attractive GG I would be with.

[Sister Rachel]

"Most of us are pretty lucky in life even if we don't see it. We could have been born extremely poor, we could have been born into an oppresive country and government or religon, we could have been born into a jungle tribe, etc. If we were to throw the dice by being changed into a woman without conditions (and I think a lot of people forget about this), we run a lot of risks. Would anyone want to be a woman in a country or religon where women are treated as property? Would you want to be a woman in an abusive relationship? Would you still want to be a woman if you were dirt poor in some sub tropical country? How about if you were obese? Or had major health problems?"

Absolutely spot-on, linda! Put many things I have wanted to say in this forum very articulately into a nutshell!

[punkypunk]

Hi,
I have a gorgeous wife, am transitioning and only attracted to females. The answer to your question, for me at least, is simple. I was a good looking guy, poss due to fem tendencies have always been kinda vain, so it's natural to wanna still be so. My wife's hot as, she married a hot guy, even though she is cool n wouldn't b so vain hrself I also wanna stay on the attractive team for her. It's a contentious issue but seems easily justified I think.

[Emma500]

Because if I was a young and attractive woman, I would want to experience everything that a young woman would experience. And that would most definitely include sex with a man.

[Taylor186]

Reine, attractive people have it better in just about every way don't they?

"According to Dr. Gordon Patzer, who has concluded 3 decades of research on physical attractiveness, human beings are hard-wired to respond more favorably to attractive people: “Good-looking men and women are generally regarded to be more talented, kind, honest and intelligent than their less attractive counterparts.”" http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...vor-attractive

In our largely patriarchal society women start out disadvantaged over their male counterpart. Being attractive would help restore balance.

[ReineD]

Thanks again, everyone, for all the great responses!

Taylor, I agree that both men and women want to be attractive, confident, and well-groomed. I was rather asking what makes a CDer want to go one step further, which is "hot", especially the female-attracted CDers whose GG SOs don't respond to the "hotness" of women.

[Taylor186]

My question is, assuming that most of you are female-attracted, why would you like to embody someone whom males are specifically attracted to? Why not simply remove your male gender cues and be like an identical sister would be?

Sorry, I don't see any reference to "hot" in your original post nor do I see any reference to a current GG SO's feelings. What I see you asking is "why be attractive, why not just be a female looking version of your male self, attractive or not?"

My answer above addressed why as a woman (or man for that matter) attractive is better.

[Angela Campbell]

Ok I would rather be an ugly woman than an attractive man. I would much rather be an attractive woman than an ugly woman. What other women are attracted to I cannot help so I will live with the realities.

[ReineD]

Taylor, synonyms. To embody someone whom males are specifically attracted to, means 'hot' to me. Or sexy. I had in mind the Victorias Secret Models, who I gather are universally appealing to men:

http://www.victoriassecret.com/cloth...alogueType=OLS

... as opposed to being just a regular, attractive woman going about her business:
http://frothygirlz.com/wp-content/up...rage-woman.jpg

[Angela Campbell]

I prefer the second one you listed .....

[ReineD]

So do I, Ellen ... but that's because we are likely the same age.

It's just that in the other thread, many of the CDers said they would want to be a woman only if they could be young and I gather, sexy.

[ossian]

In relation to the original question #1, removing the male machinery does not make a man a woman. We never had the experience of being a baby transforming into a girl Into to a woman. The genetic dice unfolded a different story for us. I have this hunch,and I might be wrong, that MTF CD/TG people are a third gender. Neither a 100% man or woman will ever never know what it is like to be us. I'm happy with this mixed up mess in me without modifying my body.

What I hope is that I get accepted as this in between person that I am.