Labels and Crossdressing

[AmandaJean]

Had an interesting thought in the shower about labels. Sometimes it feels that labels are used so we don't need to tax our brain too much. It's so much easier to label something so we can place it into a "box" that makes sense to us. Once in that "box" it's easier to decide if we can like what we've labeled or if we hate it.

No matter how another person sorts these labels, it's how you feel about it that's truly important and not the label itself.

What is it that we do exactly? We dress to look like a person of the opposite gender. And why has the label Crossdresser (or insert any label here) come to describe what you do?

Try looking at it in a new light. Couldn't you be considered a Performance Artist? It would certainly allow a greater leeway with the general population. It's just that we choose to use ourselves as the canvas. What's wrong with art?

When you break it down a further.

We are sculptors, changing our bodies by adding or subtracting material to build a work of art based on our tastes and desires. A little tuck here, a little padding there, some silicone right over there… and the canvas has been altered.

We are painters. Taking cosmetic "paints" to illustrate the illusion of a smoother, younger and more beautiful appearance. Changing colors to highlight the areas we choose to, and downplay the features we'd like to "hide" from the viewer.

We are actors. Shifting our internal consciousness to portray another. Using movement (dance) and vocal qualities (singing) to bring our masterpiece into clearer focus.

We are Artists.

It doesn't matter what your artwork looks like or how permanent you decide it should be, you could be considered a Performance Artist.

Of course if you're happy with the labels that society has chosen, by all means use them. But if societies labels make you feel uncomfortable or "broken", make one up that fits your feelings, wants and needs.

No matter what the label, you will always remain…. a human being.

Love to hear your thoughts….

Amanda

[Angela Campbell]

Why do we call it that? Well we have to call it something. We need names for things so others know what we are talking about. Why do we call a car a car and not an Automobile or horseless carriage? We tend to use terms that are easy.

[Emogene]

Regarding the concept of labels, the old joke comes to mind. If it walks like a duck, flies like a duck, swims like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck! Like Almostalady said, it is a convenient way to discuss and make sense of the thing/concept described by the label.

How many thousands of members are there in this forum, each is unique. If it helps, you can call me CD1, you want to be CD2? There has to be some general starting point for any conversation.

Here, it appears to be cross dresser!

[Terraforming]

There might be a certain level of pretension associated with calling ourselves artists, sculptors or performers. It's all down to how we dress, hence the label.

[Madeline80]

Amanda, your remarks really resonate with me and I agree we are artists in some aspects. Personally, I feel more like a jailer. The artistic process is a way of opening the cell door and inviting Madeline out into the world. She has become accustomed to it, likes it more and more, and is now waiting by the door every day. I find I have to do less "acting" and just let her enjoy and express herself.

[marlenesexton]

I know some of this is gender based but a lot of it, for me at least, is clothing based. I hate labels. They are like stereotypes, based on truth but usually inaccurate except to define large groups. No two people on these boards crossdresses for the same reasons. At it's heart, what we do is play dress up. I know it goes deeper from some, but it's what we do. The labels imply were all gay or confused. I'm not confused. I'm a guy that enjoys looking at and wearing feminine clothes.

The only label I like is "Just enjoying life as I see fit"

[andrea lace]

We are all Gender bending sissies, poofs, homos, queers, trannies, nonces, fags, hell I just ran out of labels so heres one to ponder over Colourful

[CherylFlint]

I agree 100%.
And an Academy Performance is when you get out there on the “stage” and “pass” (fool the audience).
I used to have an apartment that the front door, bath and kitchen faced West and my bedroom and living room windows faced East.
Living across from me were apartments that had a lot of single girls and as far as they knew, a girl lived in my apartment because I never had the curtains opened unless I was dressed, or undressed.
For the first 4 months I’d just have the drapes opened a little at times, as if I forgot to close them all the way, and maybe be at my makeup table in the bedroom doing my face.
After 6 months I was comfortably walking around in various stages of undress and so were they.
Alas, I had to move after a year to take a new job in a different city but every time I paraded in the living room I considered it “My Stage”.
Loved it.

[noeleena]

Hi,

So its really all down to how we dress , okay. now lets see if this works i buy a pair of overalls or bib ones how do i know which is which. not including colours,
I prefer pink. so where does male or female come in.... hmmm....

...noeleena...

[AmandaJean]

In my eyes the idea of looking at labels was not to change the world, only to offer an alternative for some to frame what they do in a different light. To many the word crossdresser is a loaded term as Andrea points out. If these labels "hurt" in any way, why not reframe it in your mind?

CherylFlint
I agree 100%.
And an Academy Performance is when you get out there on the “stage” and “pass” (fool the audience).

Cheryl, that's exactly what I mean. It's a performance at some level. Bravo for being brave enough to perform so eloquently on your "stage".

marlenesexton
I know some of this is gender based but a lot of it, for me at least, is clothing based. I hate labels. They are like stereotypes, based on truth but usually inaccurate except to define large groups. No two people on these boards crossdresses for the same reasons. At it's heart, what we do is play dress up. I know it goes deeper from some, but it's what we do. The labels imply were all gay or confused. I'm not confused. I'm a guy that enjoys looking at and wearing feminine clothes.

The only label I like is "Just enjoying life as I see fit"

Marlene, I love this... and it resonates with me. Thanks!

Madeline80
Amanda, your remarks really resonate with me and I agree we are artists in some aspects. Personally, I feel more like a jailer.

Madeline, glad that the idea resonates with you. Why do you feel like a jailer? Do you feel guilt or shame because you cross dress? Or is it because when you dress you feel you can not go out into the world? Just curious.

Terraforming
There might be a certain level of pretension associated with calling ourselves artists, sculptors or performers. It's all down to how we dress, hence the label.

There is a bit of pretension about calling yourself any label. Besides I have artist friends who are very pretentious and others who are very down to Earth. Can we as "artists" not choose how we act to the world?

Again applying labels, stereotyping, judging, etc others (or ourselves for that matter) based on too little information can cause problems.

Thank you for replying and offering your thoughts on this.

Amanda

[Lucy_Bella]

What a perfect and almost well thought out thread... Really ...It's a perfect utopia but then again we all don't live in a fantasy land and the real world doesn't stop and wait .. Don't get me wrong what a world that would be .. But then reality hits and you hear some pretty nasty thoughts about cross- dressing and you go "wait a minute !! " I have lived my whole life as a victim " and this page is my utopia" how dare you"!

Yeah last I check on the title it's a support site but fantasies seem to be what drives us( by saying us takes all responsibilities from this site and places it upon the members) you can still find it here and it's the best place yet BAR NONE TO GET IT.. Lets not lose sight of it.. I hear what you are saying I respect an understand what you are saying, I agree with what you are saying ..But I don't understand why you are saying it.. Just sayin!! Are you labeling me? Am I one of those who judge?

[AmandaJean]

Lucy,

I don't understand what you are asking me.

What I wrote was a thought I had and shared. If it fits and works for you... that's great. If it doesn't, don't give it another thought.

But why would I "label" you? I don't know you.

How would I know if you are a person who judges? Again I don't know you.

Isn't that the point of what I wrote? So often we apply a negative label or judge ourselves or others. The worst part is it's often done harshly. At times well meaning people say things that are hurtful, not asking questions or taking the time to understand, before labeling, judging and condemning.

When this happens it's gets easier to feel that we are doing something "wrong".

My thought is crossdressing is beautiful. It makes me happy, so I shall continue to do it.

Amanda

[Beverley Sims]

Totally agree I think of the artistic presentation all the time.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

What is it that we do exactly? We dress to look like a person of the opposite gender. And why has the label Crossdresser (or insert any label here) come to describe what you do?

I hate the term crossdresser. It's so judgmental. Lesbian, gay even transexual are names for people. Crossdresser is a name for what a person does. Our own identity suggests only the act. It's like calling LGBT deviants.

We cross dress. That's all that seems important. I wish we could change it but it can never happen. It is our label. Black people were allowed to change their label. Even gays. Not us. Or can we?

...and Beverely writes: Totally agree I think of the artistic presentation all the time. Dear, every thing about your is an artistic presentation. This is abundantly clear in your writing. You have a gift.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Very interesting perspective Amanda, My wife is an artist and I think I may use your statement as a way of trying to have her understand just a little bit easier.

I do believe that many labels were intended to be hurtful or others very clinical in nature to describe what we are to the rest of society. It is really much much more then just how we look or present to others, it is that feeling that we have inside as we paint that canvas of ourselves, or mould the forum with corset and padding.

Yes I love the way you present the idea of who we are, I only wish I looked more like Botticelli's "The Venus" then in do GrandMa Moses.

[Deedee Skyblue]

the problem with labels is that they become an excuse for not thinking, and assuming that everyone in the labeled group is the same - and then treating everyone in the labeled group the same. 'All blacks vote democratic', 'all republicans are at war with women', 'all crossdressers are gay', 'all <group> are stupid/intolerant/ignorant/evil'. There is no group of people, even as small a group as a pair of identical twins, who are identical in their thinking, personality, behavior, looks.

There is no excuse for not thinking for yourself. If you depend on other people, or labels, to do your thinking for you, you are going to be wrong, a lot of the time, and you will rarely learn anything new.

It's one of the life lessons that crossdressers.com reinforced for me, as I began to question some of the reasoning behind the labels I used. After reading posts from people I used to perceive as being very different from me, I find we usually share a lot of maybe not as visible similarities.

Sorry for preaching - I feel very strongly about this!

Deedee

[Donna Joanne]

Labels are for canned vegetables...and everyone knows we are "fruits"...LoL... Just a little bit of humor.

You are who you are. If you are John who becomes Jane when you put on a dress, that's great for you. If you are Jane that is always Jane no matter what you have on or what name (John) people call you, that is great for you as well. My point is, what difference does it make? You are still you, and until you accept who you are, you will never obtain the validation you seek from others.

I must be getting old, cause that sounds a whole lot like what people have been telling me all of my life...

[Ressie]

Interesting thoughts. I can relate to art and acting. People will put their own label on others to keep their brain from being confused. "Is that a man or a woman? I just have to know the answer." The answer of "both" doesn't enter into many minds.

[Rachel Flowers]

Labels are a useful shortcut, they're how the brain works. We "tag" everything. Like in a tag cloud, the tags thet get used more often get bigger. But labels are not real, and people use the same label to tag different things.

[Kate Simmons]

We are like sculptors. The piece of art is already in the stone. We just bring it out.

[NicoleScott]

Sorry, not buying it. We don't crossdress in pursuit of art. We're driven internally, although the drives are different for us, but calling it something other than what it is won't change it. Fashion and makeup do have artistic aspects to crossdressing, but CDing isn't art at its core.

[AmandaJean]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

It's so interesting to read the different ways people interpret what you write.

And Nicole, you mentioned buying?? Where? Is there a sale?? LOL

[carhill2mn]

I think of myself as playing the role of a woman to the best of my ability. Therefore, I am an actor of sorts even though I am not doing it for the sake of art. Like any good actor, I have been preparing for my role as a woman by studying women and practicing how to look like, sound like and act like a woman.

Strangely, humans seem to need to be able to categorize or label nearly everything. Perhaps, it is a perceived need for order in life. Unfortunately, labels of any kind cannot accurately describe everyone as there are so many variations. Maybe it is because it is easier to refer to a group name that generally describes the members of that group than to try to describe every individual.

The term "crossdresser" does not adequately describe most people lumped into that group (although I prefer that term to transvestite). A geat many of us are interested in more than just wearing women's clothes. In my case, I am also trying to emulate women, even though I have no desire to make changes that would make me physically more like a genetic woman.

My point is that we make such generalizations all of the time. Saying that an animal is a "dog" or a "cat" does not tell you very much about that individual dog or cat. It does, however, give you a starting point that narrows down the possibilities of what that animal is.

[Rachel Flowers]

There is a BIG difference Carole, as I'm sure you appreciate, in that there are no animals that are part dog and part cat (Except in cartoons). This is the big problem with gender to my mind: people in general assume that veryone is EITHER a man or a woman and that there are no inbetween or combined positions on that scale. We are all of us living proof that not only are the people between "man" and "woman" but that we're all totally different in how we combine aspects of the two.

We'll never stop people using labels (even crossdressers use them; in their desire to please wives, therapists or surgeons, I've read CDs even on here castigating others for not being "proper" CDs) because it's how the human brain functions. It's an evolutionary necessity for survival that we can identify friend or foe, mate or meat, and we're all of us hardwired to do that so it requires effort to suspend those judgements.

And a friend of mine insists she is a TV, not a CD, despite the Rocky Horror associations. I think she is "reclaiming" the word in the same way some black musicians are trying to reclaim the "n" word.

[Lucy_Bella]

Lucy,

I don't understand what you are asking me.

What I wrote was a thought I had and shared. If it fits and works for you... that's great. If it doesn't, don't give it another thought.

But why would I "label" you? I don't know you.

How would I know if you are a person who judges? Again I don't know you.

Isn't that the point of what I wrote? So often we apply a negative label or judge ourselves or others. The worst part is it's often done harshly. At times well meaning people say things that are hurtful, not asking questions or taking the time to understand, before labeling, judging and condemning.

I meant no harm...I thought that was what I did..Ask questions.. With life there are Critics same goes with art.. No offensive intended..