Is there someone like me?

[JessicaL]

Just some thoughts I decided to vent.

Back when I was in my teens, I used to think I want to be a girl, or I have a girl personality hiding in me. Now I'm in my twenties, and been doing serious crossdressing for about 8 months. I realized that was not what I want...No, I don't want to be a girl at all. Why did I fool myself for so long?

Suddenly I realized that such thoughts came from the internet. Yes, there is a hell lot of information out there, but it's mixed. There are all kinds of people under the transgender umbrella, just like the real world. Some feel they are born with a wrong body and some don't. But most of the time, people who are very serious about transition get to talk more than others, which is fine because they are the most experienced.

However, I get confused because I don't want to be a girl at all, a fact I didn't know then. But mixed information about transgender on the internet got me into "thinking" that I might have a "female personality" going inside me. I tried to call out the "girl" in me, but there was no response. There is simply nothing! I am just a normal guy, who happen to like having a makeover from time to time! Call it a hobby if you want.

In this sense I don't need a therapist because I have zero gender issues to talk about. I wonder how many people are like me though. I guess sometimes we think too much over it, which makes us forget that crossdressing itself is fun, without any gender issues a priori.

[Lucy_Bella]

Jessical ,

No you are not alone but you may reside in a small group when you say you dress with no gender issues..I can offer you a link to the DSM diagnostic criteria for Transvestic Fetism by Dr. Blanchard.. This was a study done to suggest that the T.G. umbrella was the wrong diagnose for T.F.s and for treatment..

[Andy66]

Yes, its easy to get misled when you are still figuring out who you are. I feel and dress like both a boy and a girl. More like a boy, but still I dont fit neatly into any category. Guess Im just a human.

[Annette Todd]

There is nothing wrong with identifying with a more fem personality. That does not necessarily go hand in hand with GID. I am happy with my gender but identify less with males. I don't need therapy to straighten me out either. lol

Annette

[Beverley Sims]

Jessica,
If that is your true image shown in your avatar, why would you not want to engage in such a past time.
I did and used to joke around and the boys accepted me because I was not patting them on the bum.
No gay tendencies and just looked fabulous as a girl.
The girls liked me as I was able to pass as a girl and made a great bodyguard for them on holidays.

You don't have to label yourself all align with any one else, just a guy that likes passing as a girl.
You may find an army of girl supporters, don,t single any one of the group out go with them as a group.
I did and it was fabulous. Favors do come your way by default, you do not need to try.

[Lynn Marie]

In so many ways CDing is just like a hobby. And like a hobby, the folks who really get into it want the ultimate thrill. We progress from stockings to lingerie to skirts and tops to heels to makeup to hair to a purse and to jewelry and accessories. Then out the door and what's next. Hormones, transitioning, and SRS. So now you've finally arrived. You're a girl and the thrill of CDing just seems so mundane. You have new gg girlfriends and you no longer hang out your old CD girlfriends with whom you shared so much. Sure hope you're happy. Sure hope you've accomplished what you had in mind when you starting this wild ride.

[Tracii G]

Don't try to fit into one box or the other just be yourself.
If you are male and are happy thats fine and if you are a guy that likes to dress up as a woman thats fine too.No reason to try and justify how you feel just do it if it makes you happy.
People tend to read too much into it.IMO.
Personally I have a very strong female side and feel more female than male 75% of the time so I tend to dress/present more toward the female side.
Sure I have times when guy mode is fine too but my female side always wins out if I have a problem to solve.

[noeleena]

Hi

One who is being honist with them self, if one knows them self well enough then its so much easyer, its when they dont understand themself it becomes very hard ,

I really dont underestand why men wont to dressup in womens clothes, okay iv heard most dresser's say thier reasons as to why. yet i find it strange ,

& then you may ask dont i dress up in womens clothes of cause, for our groups as you know Edwardian & Renaissance, times, yes its fun its lovely the clothes or garb are just so neat.

i know others do as well. some in the 20' & 50's very lovely,& nice comments.

The internet can be used in a very sutiul way or put thoughts into your mind so you think in a certian way, as youv said, & one can be decived,

so can dressing be a hobby or a fun thing to do from many accounts yes, well our men do & its fun all dressed in garb though the difference is they are not trying to be like or be women. yet it was a normal dress code if you like of the times that we reinact,

So were's the problem or issue, if it was done then why now that difference, western teaching or was it fashion & money driven, by who ...men....

gee im glad im just a woman.

...noeleena...

[Kalista Jameson]

Hi Jessica,

You are no alone. If you are like me, you are simply a straight guy who likes to express himself in a feminine way from time to time. It could really be as simple as that.

In our search to know more we sometimes look for a complicated, deep and long answer for why some of us dress, when it's just a simple situation of understanding that for some of us it really is just a matter of gender expression and not gender confusion or sexual orientation.

I fit that category. I only have eyes for females, enjoy being a man and doing male things. I also have a strong drive to occasionally dress up like a chick and don't hold back when I do. I don't want to be female, I just love looking like one from time to time. It's fun, relaxing and fulfilling. It is what it is. So that's as far as I go thinking about it and as deep as I go explaining it to others.

You may be the same.

Cheers,

Kalista

[deebra]

Jess being a guy is easy and bla, but when you become female all that changes. The pleasureably endorphins kick in and you feel pretty, sexy, soft, feminine, desirable that guys don't feel and it makes you feel really good. You also get to change your looks and gender and become a whole different person. One that gets more attention and is admired for their feminine beauty. With your good looks as a female and passable why deprive yourself of all of the above and just be a guy??????

[Veronica27]

You are definitely not alone. There are at least two of us, or should I say three because Kalista seems to share the same sentiments. The amazing thing is that so far you have 9 replies and 9 completely different takes on this question, with some overlaps here and there.

If you search the internet too much you will certainly get a TG slant to things that will subconsciously lead you to feel you must be something you are not. What you enjoy doing results from perfectly normal male thoughts feelings and curiosities that most men have been brainwashed into suppressing. Why wouldn't a man who adores female beauty develop a certain curiosity about what their life must be like with such unique clothing, accessories and grooming styles. It is normal, healthy and a sign of a higher degree of intellect.

Just be yourself and enjoy your hobby as much as time and circumstances allow.

Veronica

[Sonya]

I can also confirm that I am very much like you. I do like being a guy and sometimes looking a girl and i am pretty sure i would never want to live full time as a woman.

[Melissa73]

Jessica, definitely not alone! I too struggle with those same questions. been dressing since I was 11. but im at the age im questioning, am I a girl? or am I a dude in a dress? my answer s far... whats wrong with being both? y does gender have to be 1 or the other? I can be a man, and wear a dress. or a bra... b ut all to many people worry about labels.... I says forget the labels and titles and b urself. if u want to be a man, be a man, if u want be a woman, be a woman! the world is so huge to narrow thingfs down into nice even packages


melissa

[Wildaboutheels]

I imagine every single Forum has it's own prominent flavor. I just did a web search for "crossdressing web sites". Bing alone showed more than 12 pages. So no, you are hardly alone and simple basic math indicates you likely are part of the vast majority. Your OP gives no flavor of shame or guilt on your part which is almost a unifying theme here at this particular Forum but not feeling any in no way makes you any kind of outcast here IMO.

Unless you are breaking any laws, there IS NO right or wrong way to do this "CDing thing". 'Progress" is neither mandatory, necessary or imminent although it seems to be expected and considered normal here.

Few people know or realize that Scientists have actually changed their minds concerning snowflakes. Two CAN be exactly alike. Since even identical twins are nowhere near exactly alike, it's quite obvious that no CDers [ALL HUMANS] are going to be exactly alike so just enjoy whatever floats your boat.

[Nicky63]

JessicaL,

Hi, I'm so glad you posted this. That is pretty much my take on my own situation too.
For me it's great fun, relaxing and an occaisional escape from being Mr me.

Regards to all
Nickyxx

[Alexis.j]

Well, I guess we are all different. .. I cannot recall ever experiencing the "im in the wrong body" syndrome when I was younger, but after doing a lot of soul searching I did discover many feminine traits while growing up, many of which I "subconsciously" tried to ignore or avoid, as my worst fear was to be labeled as gay.
Over the last few years I did let slight fem traits emerge, painting my toenails, then wearing underwear, then leggings at home, then skirts etc, after that it all went downwards, one thing lead to another, started getting depressed and finally found this site, not sure if that was a blessing or a curse, but I think I understand myself MUCH better now, after a total breakdown a few weeks ago, I realized that the "female personality" that has developed (or I finally started listing too) causes huge stress and depression if I ignore or push her away, so I finally let her free and since then things are much better....

Now the billion dollar question is... If I did not find this site (or use the internet), would it eventually have surfaced??? Some ppl think its a phase im going through, I don't know, may it is, or not... but one thing I know for sure is while "she" is out, I'm much happier and less depressed. So im going with it.
(Thinking back, since school days, ive always like feminine things, but I was an extreamly shy boy and always afraid of what others would think of me, hell, got my first feminine tattoo about 10 years ago, bellybutton pierced about12-13years ago too, hell I dunno...)

Now to the fetishist point... well, there are various things that turns me on, quite a few not related to anything fem, but in the beginning, sometimes when I got my first bra or shoes I found myself quite aroused, that high wore off and I mostly feel more comfortable wearing my feminine attire now, occasionally I do get aroused when dressed, but then also when not dressed.

[Stevie]

I can relate to what you are saying. If you believe in it then it must be true. Sometimes that is not always the case.

[Jaymees22]

Dear Jessica, You are very astute and sound like you know what you are doing. I know I'm a man who enjoys dressing as a women, it makes me happy and relaxed. If it stops doing that for me then I'll stop. Right now I don't see that happening anytime soon. Yes I think the internet could have an influence, but you have to know yourself and take the time to realize what works for you. Good post! Thanks Jaymee

[alesha_cd]

Jessica, you described me almost exactly! I didn't have the Internet when I started CDing at age 11. In fact, the Internet wasn't around until I was in my mid 20s. I've never felt like I wanted to live my life as a woman. Sure it's a fantasy once in a while but my mind soon tells me I don't want to "be" a woman. I relate way too much to guy things which sometimes makes it even more difficult for me to understand why I want to get totally dressed up and try so hard to pass as a woman for a day. I'm so thankful I'm out to my wife and she's understanding to a point. We're both still actively discussing it.

Kalista, you hit the nail on the head! And Veronica, you touched on some very good points as well. The three of you voiced some of my feelings exactly. I'm 100% guy but I really enjoy feeling feminine once in a while. That's it. Nothing more. Would it be exhilirating to take a pill and be a "real" woman for a day, two days, a week? Sure, but I would want to snap right back to my guy self. For me it's not about wanting to live day to day as a woman; it's about wanting to feel that wonderful relaxing feeling for a day and being able to go back to guy mode when I'm finished. I realize that's not the same for everyone on here but as we all know, there are various degrees of CDing. Great post!

[reb.femme]

Hi Jessica,

I certainly have no gender issues. I am male through and through the majority of the time, but love the fact I get to wear the clothes of a woman and present as one as well, ........when I feel like it.

To paraphrase Wildaboutheels, there is no standard to be judged by. I do not need a whole load of verbal or textual diarrhoea (Brit spelling) to pigeon hole me. I cannot be classified, I am unique in my own sweet way.......and that's it! As for therapists, don't get me started . Others may feel the complete opposite and that is fine too. Such is the nature of our beast.

I sort my own problems, as quite obviously, so do you. Very very happy dressing my friend!

Rebecca

[Aly Cat]

For me personally, I love the clothes. I have a weakness for womens fashion and its just not enough to see it on women. It satisfies the need when I wear them myself. If I think about it too much, I get those thoughts of...well, maybe I should have been a woman, or gosh it would be nice not to have to tuck this junk back all the time. (Thats why I like wearing loose skirts. No tucking required.) But in reality, i wouldn't make a good female and I like being me. I mix up the fashions and wear what I like. I don't even present as a woman with makeup and wigs and all that. (Not that I would be totally opposed to it, I just don't have the resources.) A good makeover would be nice from time to time but in the end, I'm a guy. No two ways around it. I like being me and I feel like I have done pretty well in figuring myself and my needs out over the last 8-9 months. Its sad that I didn't understand this stuff when I was younger. I had lots of guilt when I was a kid because I didn't know who I was. I think people like us are somewhat of a minority within the TG community, but we are out there. I'm just glad that this community exists and that those who do in fact want more in terms of femininity are still supportive of us no matter where we fall on TG thermometer.