no interest when in drab but when dressed its only about the men, now just gotta snag one lol
was on webcam yesterday dressed and met this incredibly awesome older guy who complimented me no end, this girl just melted , just shame he's in florida and i'm in Australia
i dont change preferences i like to be a lesbian sometimes and then other times i like guys
I have my moments, yes.
When I am woman mode, I am all woman, guys are really fun! Not for everyone, but I sure had ( am having) a good time.
I find myself checking men out when I am dressed. I have never been with a man but have fantasized plenty about taking care of a man in many ways.
I think it's quite common to think about boys when you are creating and temporarily (or permanently) living your inner female in an outward fashion. I have no attraction to men at all. I am attracted to the female form, and that includes hot looking CDers. I have never done anything sexually with a CD, but I wonder if I wouldn't jump at the chance if all the circumstances were right?
I think I am what they call an autogynaphillic. Some people don't believe in the concept, but I do.
Last edited by laura.lapinski; 11-14-2013 at 06:17 PM.
I think it is an erotic thing: When Lilli, I would love to get some physical contact to some male parts - I think, not having tried more than a kiss yet.
And I don't find that so terrible. I can love women and see the sexually attractive side of a man and imagine myself doing things to them. I don't know why that would be bad. It is all erotical.
I'm not out, but I do find myself fantasizing about being with a guy when I'm dressed. When I'm not dressed, nope. But he has to be a HOT guy! Like Grigor Dimitrov. If you don't know who that is, Google him. He's a professional tennis player from Bulgaria and he's Maria Sharapova's boyfriend. I've never been with a guy or had any kind of gay relationship, but.... I'm attracted to CD sisters,too, whether in drab or enfemme.
I think liking boys only in girl mode is just a bit of fantasy...which is most likely ok for most. On the other hand, if its a true feeling then you would like boys in either mode. Alot of it really depends on liking the individual person you feel attracted to...
i prefer girls normally, but lately when dressed up i dream about men, specially older men, it is strange, because i have never been with any man at all
I understand this and have felt the same way. Regardless of boy or gurl mode I am very attracted to other gurls.Originally Posted by DanielleT
once i am dressed i definitely find myself attracted to men in a different way than when i am not dressed
No matter how I present myself, my attractions towards men or women do not change. However, I have had more boyfriends than girlfriends
No, it doesn't change for me. I'm just really into beautiful women and the glamour of it all.
As I've gotten older I find that I'm more interested in people as people rather than as males or females. Makes no difference what mode I'm in.
Well, my vote probably doesn't count - but I was honestly never interested in boys until about 3 - 3.5 months into HRT. But when it changed, oh my goodness! Dressing didn't really make a difference, other than I am dressed all the time now, and have been for 4 months.
This thread (all 11 pages of it!) makes it clear that many of us are attracted to men while we're dressed up. Gender identify and sexual orientation are two different things and yet often intertwined. This is something that I get to explain to each woman that I date!
I was surprised the other day to discover that Tri-Ess specifically supports "heterosexual" crossdressers. How odd.... open-minded about gender identity but not sexuality.
Throwing in my two cents to this long and popular thread. Personally, I tend to think most things are complicated, but questions about the interplay between gender and sexuality... whoo boy! It can get really messy. And since I don't think I've read any reply that really covers all the facets of my experience I'll weigh in with my own humble opinion. So, as for me:
I'm bisexual, but the way in which I'm attracted to men and women often differs.
I'm also transgender, and the gender that I'm presenting can affect how I relate to my object of affection / desire.
Let me try and explain.
As for emotional connections and relationships - I have only barely begun to "date" men. I've had a handful of serious and semi-serious girlfriends over the years, but no such boyfriends. I am more quickly at ease among girls even as friends and I can more readily divulge my intimate thoughts and feelings to them. I take much longer to relate to boys that way.
That said, I've had several sexual experiences with men. Not to get into the gory details, but the number of partners that I'd say I've been sexual with is roughly equal between women and men at this point. The kind of sex and the kind of attraction involved though was rather different between them. Now, this is all made even more confusing though by the fact that there have naturally also been a few key differences in the context of the sex and attraction. First, as I said, I had dated and thus knew most of the women quite well before sexual intimacy, where that was rarely the case for the men. Also though, it is naturally a different context (that is, in many ways given our hetero-normative society and the fact that I was born genetically male), in which I got to know those women. To explain further - as a apparently cisgender "man" going out with a woman, neither I or my partner had to think much about gender. On the other hand, when I, as a transgender "woman" went out with a man, there is naturally in our society a kind of "sexual" context for the event. I'm not saying it's fair, but it's there. Most of the men that I've been out with have known from almost the first that I am transgender, and several of them have met me on through the internet on sites more or less built around sexual encounters <I have had some experience with men even while I presented male but rather little>... Aaaaanyway, the point is that even keeping that in mind I think I can safely say that other factors have separately made my connections to men and women different as well.
I can be attracted physically (I might say "viscerally) to both men and women, and may be equally likely to be aroused by airbrushed models in display windows, but for the average person on the street I'm more often attracted that way to women. That probably has to do with the way women are really just more likely to be forced to live up to "beauty culture" but there's also something more I think. That is, I think that our culture (modern Western) has very effectively defined the gender roles of "man" and "woman" according to "who possesses" and "who is possessed". Now, I also think it unlikely that almost anyone is 100% in their preference for either, and I'm sure there's a large part of the sexual segregation is natural, but both nature and nurture in some combination I think have made us inclined to see "being a man" as "being one who goes out to find and possess sexual objects". Men are active agents of sex. "Being a woman" on the other hand means "being one who personifies that sexual object and who can be taken". Women are passive.
So this is all to explain that I do like men, and it's not just a fantasy, but the way in which my attraction can play out in our society is complicated for me (and complicated for same-sex couples too of course). This is why male crossdressers so often have to face the assumption that they're gay. Even if there weren't plenty of male crossdressers and transgender people who do like men, the fact that the large majority has a strong, sometimes exclusive preference for women doesn't jive with the longstanding cultural narrative of - one must be man, another must be woman, the man most possess woman, the woman must be possessed by man. So I think, for example, a loooot of crossdressers, motivated at least in part to present as woman do so in order to get some sense of what it is to be a sexual object and to be valued as such. Most outsiders then still want all of these roles and labels to line up. So if you say, "I want to be valued as an object of beauty and sexual desire and I will present as female to do so" then others jump ahead to, "Oh, you want to be a woman... so you like men." As if there weren't innumerable elements that make up what it means to "be a woman" and as if they all just had to line up.
I understand all too well where these folks are coming from mind you, since my own feelings too are a big jumbled mess. For example, I won't rule out being really viscerally excited by an intimate sexual experience with a man, even as I present as a man too (people out there in the world do it all the time), but for me, it's not common that I think about such things. I much more often think about being with men as a woman because I know how that particular yin-yang equation works. I've been on one side of it, but wanting to experience a lot of what is taken for granted on the other side is part of the foundation for my own transgender identity. It may seem absurd coming from a transgender woman, but honestly the sort of "negotiated" gendering that goes on in same-sex couples seems like the greater hurdle for me. So if I daydream about Matt Bomer (because... seriously, dayum!), and knowing my own tendency towards many "female" associated behaviors and roles then it's easier for me to see him as the "man" who "possesses me". I mean, if we're talking Matt Bomer (who btw actually happens to be gay!), I'd be happy to be to be the one chasing, but I then have to imagine him in what amounts to the "feminine" role, and vis a vis me even if I were imagining myself presenting male, that just seems strange for me personally. I have little context for that....
Anyway... that was some epic rambling.
Basically, girls will be boys and boys will be girls; it's a mixed up muddled up, shook up world.
tldnr, I'm outey ^____~
Well put, you very much captured how I feel.
100% into my wife
Even if she left me
And yes cara lacey that's makes you a lesbian
And me also
Men blaa yuck.
Just my thoughts not yours
Julie
You know, these answers are often loaded. You have people here who have wives or GFs who either read this forum or may in the future, and people give the answer just so they wouldn't risk losing them (as many people could). I mean, there is a pattern. The more one protests, the more they appear to have their current relationship at risk. That situation places a bit of doubt in any answers given where someone is in that situation. Just saying.
But, I'm not here to judge. For me, anyway, as time is passing, it's appearing more and more that, as a trans woman, I have zero lesbian tendencies, just like as a boy, I had zero gay tendencies. There is a certain energy, a certain chemistry that both have (entirely different from each other) which just never felt right. I remember running a while back where clearly some guy was flirting with me (as a boy) and the whole thing just felt uncomfortable to me. The same thing was when I was in a gay bar. The entire thought and feeling of the male-male dynamic just was highly uncomfortable to me and I had to leave soon after.
You see, when it comes to this, what people don't recognize in all of this is CONTEXT. The entire experience of love, romance and sexuality is done from a specific perspective: A man with a man, a woman with a woman, a man with a woman, a woman with a man - and from each interaction, the experience is entirely different.
This is where gender does have an effect on sexuality. It affects one's perspective, and in turn, one's experience. Now, to be clear, gender and sexuality are still entirely different things, as they've always been. But, if that perspective changes, the entire experience will change and who knows how things will turn out? Maybe you'll turn out to like the lesbian world and feel right at home with that. Maybe you'll realize interacting with men in a romantic setting is a far better thing than you ever imagined. You just don't know. But, once you start getting your mind tuned more into it's natural perspective (repressed or not), everything starts getting clearer and clearer (at least, it was, for me).
It's weird, I'm only attracted to the female body but when I get into "female mode" I do fantasize of satisfying a man, or a man satisfying me.
But when I'm in "male mode" I never think about guys like that, only women.
Yeeeeeeees
I remember seeing that, too, when I was checking out their website quite some time ago. That really threw me for a loop, too, how an organization like this could discriminate on the basis of sexuality. It just doesn't make any sense to me.
For statistic gathering, put me down as someone like Maria. And thanks for doing the numbers. Very interesting results. So many of us are so different, that's for sure.
I used to say that I was a real man just dressing up. Then I began to look at my life and wonder if I doth protest too much. Always overcompensating. Today, having some kind of dude relationship is on the bucket list but will probably never happen. Reality is far too complicated.
I used to say that if I ever did a boy, he would have to first be girl looking, i.e., crossdresser. No burly guys for me. Now, I wonder.
I had a fling when I was in my twenties but it pretty much falls into a black out. His name was John and he picked up me in a late night boys clubs. I was going there to get laid, I think. At least a drink. Home, wham bam, thank you, bye. John goes back to the action and I go home to pass out.
Great thread. Had to weigh in just to make sure that I don't lose it. Happy what's left of Thanksgiving girls. All we have left around the house is white meat. So boring. Stop it Robbin.
rBBn
Last edited by Robbin_Sinclair; 12-01-2013 at 01:36 PM.
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