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Thread: All is lost...

  1. #1
    Member Christie Camelle's Avatar
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    All is lost...

    I lost her. The only one who "got" me. We broke up and I had no say so. It was cruel. It was sudden. It was unexpected. I was blindsided. I was crushed. And it had nothing to do with CD'ing. I tried to talk to her. I tried reasoning. I tried bargaining. I purged. Everything. Gone. Lost. I have cried for a month. Over losing her. Over losing "me". I have to start over. Alone. No support. No comfort. No peace. She helped me shop. She helped me choose things. She did my makeup. She loved both of "me". She was my best friend and lover. I have nothing now. Several hundred dollars worth of clothes, shoes, forms, wigs, makeup. Lost in a vain attempt to save something that was apparently doomed from the beginning. I'm tired. My soul is tired. My heart hurts. I feel like she and "Amber" have both died. *sighs deeply as a tear falls down my cheek*
    ” I'm hell on heels, say what you will ”

  2. #2
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    Breaking up always hurts honey its happened to me plenty of times.
    When its a very sudden thing like you described I tend to think she has found someone she likes better.
    My two ex wives dropped bombs on me in the same fashion saying it wasn't me it was them and they felt bad about what they did and how they treated me.
    Both had cheated on me with the other man many times before I wised up and saw what they were doing.
    We seem to be the last to know sadly.
    I hope you can work thru this sad time.

  3. #3
    Member Christie Camelle's Avatar
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    I've spoken to some of her family. It was not another person. She is alone. Her mother said she just wants it to be herself and her two kids. That makes it even sadder for me.
    ” I'm hell on heels, say what you will ”

  4. #4
    Silver Member prene's Avatar
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    Breakups are always bad.
    I lost my last gf when I came out to her.

    When she has two kids. You can never know.
    I do not want to sound bad or heartless but before herself she needs to think of her kids first.
    Was there any problems there?

  5. #5
    Silver Member paulaprimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    When its a very sudden thing like you described I tend to think she has found someone she likes better.
    i couldn't agree more with tracii! we have all been there, some more than others, but none more than me.
    as a professional "dumpee" i have learned a few things along the way.
    one is, that nobody leaves a perfectly good relationship for no good reason,
    and two is, don't ever beg for someone to comeback who doesn't want you!!

    i am not trying to make light of the situation as i am truely sorry for what has happened to you and i also feel your pain.
    time does heel and the sooner you can face reality the less damage you will do to yourself. don't tear yourself apart!!
    try to stay busy so not to think about it. get out and mingle also, the best way to get over someone is to meet someone new...
    i might sound cold and harsh, but the truth is that she left you. her loss and hopefully she will regret it some day...
    i do wish you the very best and we are all here to support you
    paula

  6. #6
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    Awws...I am so sorry .......In time things will get better....I know it sucks to say that but it is true.....One day some one special will come along and it will go fine. Don't give up .
    To thine ownself be true.
    Put out into the universe what you would like to receive in return, because it comes back like a boomerange in 3 fold!

  7. #7
    Gold Member Maria in heels's Avatar
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    Amber...I'm so sorry that you had to go thru such a breakup. Sometimes people feel that they are just "overwhelmed" and just need to run away, which may be the case. All the love in the world cannot help if that is the situation, and as much as it pains you, just try to give it some time and if it is meant to be, things will return to some sort of previous stage. Its a sad thing, no matter what, and I hope that you feel better soon. Purging, unfortunately, doesn't ever seem to help...

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amber Lyn View Post
    I lost her. The only one who "got" me. We broke up and I had no say so. It was cruel. It was sudden. It was unexpected. I was blindsided. I was crushed. And it had nothing to do with CD'ing.
    Hello Amber

    I'm afraid it did have to do w/ CDing. Don't worry, what you lost were emotional nightmares later. What you lost, was a woman that was insecure about herself, a woman that......started analyzing her future w/ you. She was worried about herself and not the one you thought she loved. Right now it may not seem like it but later, you'll realize she did you a favor.

  9. #9
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    That sounds devastating...... but rather than wallowing in self pity and despair. how about getting out and starting all over again..... be the person you always wanted to be.... even if its alone for now.... remake yourself for you.... not for them.... I think a lot of us would love the chance to start fresh......
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  10. #10
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    Yes, breaking up can hurt quite a bit. I'm on my third marriage so I know a bit about it.

    You'll never know the real reason she left and I doubt it was a single reason anyway, just a bunch of little things that added up to enough for her to leave the relationship.

    Aftwer the end of my second marriage, I vowed never to love anyone again. I remained distant for quite a while and even when I started dating the woman who would end up as my third wife (it's been 34 years together now), I kept my distance.

    Eventually, I let my guard down and began to love her and realized that she was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

    All you can do is get your life back together and see where it takes you. I wish you the best.

    I've spoken to some of her family. It was not another person. She is alone. Her mother said she just wants it to be herself and her two kids. That makes it even sadder for me.
    Even though you'll never know, it's quite a burden on a woman with children to be with a crossdresser. Women naturally want to protect their children and while they may be able to accept a crossdresser, they may not want to expose their children to one.
    Last edited by linda allen; 06-21-2013 at 08:24 AM.
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  11. #11
    Senior Member Princess Grandpa's Avatar
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    Hug

    I'm so sorry for what you have to deal with. It's hard it hurts and nothing but time will ease the pain. There is nothing anyone can say to make it better. Just know we love and support you. You are important as an individual. You matter.

    Hug
    A person should wear what he likes to. And not just what other folks say. A person should be who she likes to. A person's a person that way!
    ~Marlo Thomas~

  12. #12
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    Amber Lyn, I am so sorry to hear about your breakup. Only you have a clue as to why she decided to end it. You may never know the real reason. Only you know if she could have possibly met someone else causing her to rethink her relationship with you. So don't listen to those that suggest this is what happened. I went through the very same thing back in November. No clue, no warning and no idea how it went from a hug, a kiss and an "I love you" at the airport 3 days before she sent an email saying goodbye after 7 years...Most of it long distance. Today I can only think of possible reasons for it to have ended. Maria said, "Sometimes people feel that they are just "overwhelmed" and just need to run away, which may be the case". In my case I am pretty sure that's what happened. She had to take guardianship of 3 small granddaughters about 3 years ago. If that's not something to overwhelm her, nothing is. It was as hard on me, and probably harder for her to maintain a long distance relationship. She has so much on her plate. This might be the case with your GF since she has 2 children that have to come first.
    This was not the first time in all the 7 years we were together. One break up was 6 months without any communication between us. Then one day I got an email saying that it took her 6 months and 1,200 miles apart to realize she loved me. So there is hope for you.

    Sadly. I still love her, but am doing my best to meet another woman to love. Had a few dates and feel nothing special for any of them. I guess I still need time.
    I wish you the best.

  13. #13
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    We all have felt the pain of break ups in our lives. I have two very painful divorces behind me as well. I know that some will say that time heals the pain, but I have learned that love will heal your pain. The sooner you find new love in your life, the sooner that healing will take place. I know this,for I have lived it. I also agree with another poster here about do not beg her to come back, that will be a mistake. We all live by free will, she made her choice by free will, I say it was probably another man, and of course her family will tell you there is no one else, of course they will say that. Time marches on for all of us and it waits for no one. You lived so many years before you met her and life was good, you can live just as many years without her and life can still be good, find someone new. She already has, and you are the last to know. If you ever do find out that this break up was because of someone else, come back and let us know.

  14. #14
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I certainly feel for your grief over your breakup.
    It is hard when you can not resolve the issues.
    I always remember a song I once heard.
    "Breaking up is hard to do".
    Chin up, take a deep breath and look to the future.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  15. #15
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
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    That makes me so sad. Hugs!!

  16. #16
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    So sorry to hear that.
    Love takes two.
    I've been on both sides of the heartbreak.
    There will be another chance someday.

  17. #17
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    My marriage ended with her saying, "I just can't be married to a crossdresser, I need a real man." 2 years later, I was going to a club and as I was getting out of my car totally en femme, in a black dress & heels. I heard a female voice say, "Oh my god, look at those legs!!". We've been married 7 years. Keep your chin up and love will find you.

  18. #18
    Member kathtx's Avatar
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    I'm terribly sorry to hear of the breakup. It's even more agonizing when you don't know the reason. But as hard as it seems right now, all is not lost. Take time to mourn and cry, and in time you'll find Amber again, and then maybe also find another love.

  19. #19
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I too was devastated when my ex and I separated. I always thot we would get back together. A silly dream because love requires 2 to work. And, she lost hers!

    The reasons(s) why my ex and your SO left r unimportant. Because when it's over, it's over! It just took me and now u, more time to end our relationships by ourselves.

    Here's a prediction for u. I know u hurt terribly rite now. But, one day u may look back on your time together as a wonderful, magical time! And, you'll be thankful u were lucky enuff to experience a love and companionship few of us ever find in our lives!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  20. #20
    Member Christie Camelle's Avatar
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    First of all let me say thank you for the support and encouragement. Now let me explain the breakup was not because of cd'ing, her children, or another man in her life. These are the facts. Her ex was a factor. I am still close to her brother who, by the way, sides with me. She simply decided to be alone. I have realized she does that. Like a "runaway bride" kinda thing. Things become perfect, she runs. As simple as that. *sighs*
    Last edited by Christie Camelle; 06-22-2013 at 01:47 PM.
    ” I'm hell on heels, say what you will ”

  21. #21
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    That's not good news at all Amber. If it's of any help we are here for you girl.
    Angie

  22. #22
    Member Christie Camelle's Avatar
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    Thank you Angie.
    ” I'm hell on heels, say what you will ”

  23. #23
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    In 1985, I was told by a woman friend i loved, that she cold never love a man again, that no man is as strong as her dad was, and that i was too young for her. I drove off, nearly crashed into a big tree, did not go to work the next day, cried, and grieved a long time. I was not into dressing at that time. The girlfriend i had before that, died at 21 of an overdose of pills. I am 59 now, and no romances, but have had platonic women friends.. I gave a speech at a mens speech club, after the brekup, about how these things are among the hardest episode of life. I empathize with you. Grieve, and cry, but this too shall pass, and time will help heal. It is ok to walk alone.

  24. #24
    Junior Member nikitataylor0210's Avatar
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    Hang in there, life is a rollercoaster, and although I cannot imagine what you are going through, just remember you're still here and you're reaching out, which is already so many steps in the right direction! have a big tub of chocolate swirl vanilla ice cream on me!

  25. #25
    Member Brynna M's Avatar
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    I'm sorry you're hurting, Its supposed to suck. There is no way around it. (I know; I'm "princess obvious") The pain will take time to pass. It takes longer for some than others but it will mostly pass. I hope things get better for you quickly but you have to keep faith that they will get better. The human heart is an inhumanly resilient thing if you give it time and permission.

    Best wishes and a little luck.

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