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Thread: I wanted to be seen.

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member Dawn cd's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    698
    When you get to be as old as I am, you are genderfluid whether you like it or not. My predator days are long gone. It's easier for me to wear femme things, carry a purse, use a little perfume. It doesn't threaten anyone, least of all other guys. However I don't get the front table at a restaurant, and for that I am envious, Miss K.

  2. #27
    YMMV
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    the Bible Belt
    Posts
    834
    Quote Originally Posted by Nigella View Post
    Validation from yourself, accept who and what you are, don't hide.
    Thanks for the replies everyone has contributed so far!

    I asked the question of how do we learn how to feel self-validated without using others because that is what I percieved to be the crux of the post that Melissa made.

    I appreciate all the responses, and they all contain truths that have been purchased with experience by the posters and given freely to anyone who reads them. Thank you to each person who posted.

    Melissa's experience on her trip (in my opinion) was due to the fact that she WASN'T seeking validation from others, because she was supplying it to herself in exactly the way that Nigella advised. Accept, understand, then live it. This is powerful stuff that can't be hidden from others, people unconsciously will feel the energy that someone gives off and will respond accordingly.


    I haven't traveled as far along my path of transition as many of the other people here, yet I have experienced many problems in my life so far that has taught me how to feel validation without using others as a reference. Sure transition presents some unique challenges that aren't often mirrored in other struggles that people have, but learning to feel comfortable and confident with yourself without requiring someone else's approval requires universal skills that can be applied to any situation.

    Perhaps this should be in a new thread, but it seems to me that Melissa has learned something very important about how to be happy in the place she is in right now and I wanted to focus on this.

    I think a lot of the squabbles and disagreements that happen on this board are because we are looking outward instead of inward at times.
    Last edited by mary something; 06-26-2013 at 08:07 AM.
    "In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change, lies our happiness and freedom."

    "My actual gender identity emerged as I healed from the scars of childhood not because of those scars" - Kelly J

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