Dressing too stressful!

[docrobbysherry]

I was supposed to dress up and meet the girls for dinner. Then, off to Jamie's monthly T girl nite party at Hamburger Mary's club. It was "Animal Print" nite and I bought special heels and short dress for the occasion.

I told my daughter I was going up to dress and would go out the back door so she wouldn't see me. A first for us! Then, I went up at 6:00 PM and put on my new animal print club outfit to accessorize it. I was anxious to begin with. As I usually am while dressing to go out. Worrying about getting everything rite so I won't have any wardrobe malfunctions.
Suddenly, I realized I couldn't wear the leopard dress! The back was too open and would show my foundation wear. I pulled out some other club stuff and began to organize an alternative outfit. It was approaching 7:00 now, too late for me to make 8:00 dinner with the girls.

So, I put on my drabs and went downstairs. Ate snacks while watching the tube with my daughter. Then, went back upstairs to dress at 7:30. I began to get out my contact kit, make up and jewelry bags, and silicone prosthesis when it stuck me. I had a rough couple of days, was tired already, and just wasn't up to getting all made and dressed up, driving 25 miles to a hot, noisy club and dancing until all hours of the nite. As soon as I made the decision to forget about going, I relaxed immediately!

I know many of u find dressing relaxing. Does anyone else find dressing occasionally stressful?

[~Joanne~]

I do. I'll plan out a day dressed, figure out an outfit, get all the makeup ready and such and then it hits me that it takes to long to get ready, it'll be hot by time I am ready, and it just doesn't seem worth all the effort that goes into it. I can imagine how much work goes into your dressing Doc so it would make me not dress that given day for sure. Good thing there is no rules saying you have to dress daily

[Lorileah]

always Sherry. But it goes away when it is all done. If the makeup doesn't work, the clothes go easy; if the makeup goes without a hitch, I go through several outfits. Recently the bed in the spare room looks like a sale table at Macy's and I can't find anything...guess what I am doing this afternoon? Oh and I have had that issues with low cut backs AND fronts.

[Beverley Sims]

Sherry,
You seem to take a professional pride in what you do and how you present yourself.
Kudos to you for doing this.
I think you need to choose an alternative easier outfit for such occasions as when you do not need to present so well.

[Kimberly Renee]

This is why we ladies get overflowing closets

It was "Animal Print" nite and I bought special heels and short dress for the occasion.

Recently the bed in the spare room looks like a sale table at Macy's and I can't find anything...guess what I am doing this afternoon?

[DonniDarkness]

I know many of u find dressing relaxing. Does anyone else find dressing occasionally stressful?

Yes. sometimes i put too much effort into what im doing and forget about WHY i am doing it. I had a similar experience a few weeks ago.

I was almost ready to go out, makeup and hair done. (and thats the hard part) ...Couldnt decide what i wanted to wear...changed 10 times...looked at the clock and it was like 10:30 (club is open at 11)...in a final act of frustration i said "the hell with it" and decided to stay home. After that i was much less stressed. I ended up going out a few nights later and had a great time, and was never stressed about it at all.

Sometimes i am just not "feeling it" either.

-Donni-

[AllieSF]

I don't think it ha happened to me. Rather, sometimes I just don't feel like doing all the necessary work to get ready. In the rare moments, I ignore the dressing and just stay home to enjoy the rest of the evening. I know that I will get out sooner, rather than later, so no big worries on my part. Maybe it is like any other special activity or hobby. Sometimes the enthusiasm is just not there.

[rachaelsloane]

I know exactly how you felt. Other than deciding early on that I wasn't going to drive down (6 hours) to LB to meet up with you and the girls, as I had just been up in Tahoe for the 4th and the drive back to the Bay Area took much longer than usual. I then decided that I was going to meet up with a few friends in SF Friday night, but the thought of having to get ready and then drive into the city was too much so like you, I stayed home.
Not the end of the world as I believe that for all who go out often, it's just another outing. I'll get into the city a night or two this week and I'm sure you'll get out also.
Take care and I'll make it down to HM's at some point.

[Laura912]

My analysis is that it was not the dressing that was too stressful....it was the schedule!

[CarlaWestin]

This happens all the time but just knowing that if I just stay the course and transform into Carla, I'll feel glad that I did. I've had times where, during the anticipation period of finding out I'll have some extended Carla time and the actual event, I run every scenario and outfit through my imagination. Then the time comes and boom, malaise sets in. I've definately learned to just push on as oppurtunities are few and far between.

[Kimberly Kael]

I don't think I ever found dressing stressful, exactly. If anything it was an important mechanism for dealing with stress. What was much more challenging was living between worlds, with most people unaware of the fact that I identified as female. Not being able to talk to so many people about things that were very important to me got progressively more problematic, as did trying to find time in a busy life to express myself properly. Knowing I was complicating my wife's life was stressful. Worrying about the potential impact on my career was stressful.

Ultimately, the best thing I ever did was come out to people. It was a complicated process, to be certain, but at the end of it I found myself living a life I had only dreamed of previously. Unfortunately, I understand it's not always practical and indeed your mileage will vary. There are far too many who aren't ready to accept a CD/TG/TS individual in their lives or their workplace. The progress our society has made in recent years is amazing, but there's still a long way to go.

[daviolin]

At home, no. Going out, yes. I never get stressed if I'm dressing and playing fashion show with Daviolin. Everything I need is at my finger tips. When going out there is so much to consider. Did I forget this, did I forget that. You know what I mean. Besides, my wife is a lovely girl, that excepts Daviolin. I don't need to go out anymore. Daviolin

[kimdl93]

Nights out on the town are relatively uncommon for me. Most of my occasions out are daytime trips to the mall or lunch with friends. For the occasional night out, I tend to go with fairly casual attire too. It's less hassle and easier to blend in.

[Kaz]

I think for many of us the urge to dress is a major issue and can become all consuming. But sometimes we just want to relax and chill... and we feel guilty if we are not taking the opportunity... of the days I have lost in angst!

[Karren H]

My whole life is stressful..... lucky for me I thrive on stress......

[Sara Jessica]

Sherry, I'm so sorry you didn't get out last night as you had planned. But I can kind of relate to what you went through.

First of all, be glad you didn't have to deal with subterfuge in the mix. That would have been over the top, for sure. But I feel your pain otherwise. Here's how.

My face came factory-equiped with fur twenty-something years ago. I learned the joy of smooth in that before I go out I pluck every last fur which is a blessing and a curse. It takes time and creates windows where going out & about is pretty uch impossible.

My shape has some advantages but I have become somewhat addicted to taking it to the next level. More often than not, I am dealing with shapewear when any other woman is throwing on her clothes over a simple bra & panties and simply being herself. I long to do that despite the distinct advantage shapewear can give me in confusing the Muggles...and increasing my own self-confidence.

The effort in dealing with all of the above, and for me, doing most of it "on the road" is beyond stressful. It can sap the joy of my "being" if I allow it to do so. Yet aside from the subterfuge I still deal with when it comes to getting out of the front door (dealing with the kids, neighbors, etc), I'm not sure what will change in the short term.

Moral of my tale, hang in there. You know you have friends who deal with the exact same stuff. I may have to make an effort to go next month, if you're game of course.

[reb.femme]

Had a make-up malfunction just over a month ago, when getting ready for a meet in Manchester village. Was up north for work and a perfect opportunity for a night out as Rebecca. However, no matter what I did, foundation just seemed too light/white, that I looked like a ghost. Tried a darker powder but ended up looking like a circus act.

I think the lighting in these hotel rooms is either set for people who can see in the dark or they have a lot of nocturnal animals staying over.

Blew my night right out of the water, as I was really looking forward to it. Stressed and up-tight doesn't begin to explain it.

Reb

[suchacutie]

Sherry, Tina is a high-maintenance kinda girl. It's not that transforming to the Tina part of my life is ever too stressful, there are some days when it's just too much! Like you, when when that happens and I just decide to "chill", the world comes back into focus.

There are other times, of course, when Tina will arrive come Heck or High water! The problem arrives when commitments as Tina and the overriding desire to transform to Tina don't match. THAT can be stressful!

No one ever said being transgendered is for wimps!

[Rogina B]

When I read threads like this it makes me realize how good my gender fluid life really is. Half hour,and I am out the door to wherever it is I am supposed to,or want to go.I am not so sure that hours of agonizing and/or preparation makes such a marked difference.I treat my my presentation as if I were 24/7,so you have to take the GG approach in that every day the "red carpet" isn't underfoot.

[ArleneRaquel]

Dressing has not been stressful for me for years, I find being dressed enfemme is the most relaxing thing that I do.

[4mymichelle]

Awww Sherry, sorry that it was so stressful for you last night. I was looking forward to meeting you as it was the first time I have been able to make it to the pre Hamburger Mary's dinner. The other girls had said you would be there and were concerned when you didn't come. I can understand your situation when having a wardrobe mishap. I wore a short shiny animal print dress to the party and had a minor mishap. Luckily nobody noticed.. Lol. Hope all is all better now.
Take care,
Michelle

[MysticLady]

As soon as I made the decision to forget about going, I relaxed immediately!

I know many of u find dressing relaxing. Does anyone else find dressing occasionally stressful?

Hi Sherry, I agree. Sometimes, just getting all dolled up is a lot of work. There are times that I tell myself in the morning "today I'll dress up", then comes the afternoon and I get all...........lazy to do it. I'm wondering if I were a GG, I would be a total slob.................Yuk

[ArleneRaquel]

Getting dolled up can entail hard work and, sometimes, a great deal of time, but IMO it usually is worth the effort.

[marlenesexton]

I get worked up when I plan to do it. Usually when the family is gone (school, work, etc.) Then I'd have a specific day, a time limit and so much I wanted to do. It was stressful. My bachelor week is coming up when the family is at camp, or is it bachelorette Anyway, I am already telling myself to slow down, take it easy, enjoy the process since there is no hurry. I can do it first thing in the morning, after lunch or in the evening. I definitely thing having a deadline, time limit of a special occasion just adds some anxiety to the excitement we usually feel when we dress.

[Sallee]

I agree it sometimes creates more stress than it is worth. Worrying about getting it then where are we going to go and the stress that goes with all of that I have had days where I was psyched to go but just couldn't get motivated.