SO asking for a picture en femme?

[Lexi_83]

Maybe she just wants to get used to the idea. A picture is less intimidating than a live performance. She knows you dress so now some curiosity is bubbling up. Maybe for her it wasn't DADT but you both settled there out of mutual confusion. Who knows? I think asking the question to her is a great start. "Honey, why the sudden interest in my cross dressing?"

This sounds like really great advice.

I had a GF who used to keep a picture of me en femme on her bulletin board at work (she was a Pharmacist and had other pictures of friends and family as well). She would ask her male co-workers if they thought I was attractive. But we weren't married and this was part of our relationship from the start.

[Rebecca Watson]

Here's an update. I spoke to my wife about this today, and she's quite certain that she does not want a photo. In fact, I think she's forgotten that she even asked, so it looks like a bubble of curiosity at the time.

Nevertheless, it's still a significant improvement to our previous situation. I can actually talk to her about this.

- Becky

[Julie Gaum]

Much as I would like to agree with those saying "go for it" I do see a red flag not yet addressed by Rebecca. Overseas with relatives, right? I would have less of a concern if the spouse and children were alone but how accepting are the relatives? Do your children know and are accepting? What are the chances that these relatives might sway her? Unanswered questions to this point but have you already asked yourself these same questions?
Julie

[Connie.Marie]

Glad to hear that it's working out Becky... Keep us posted..

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Becky, I've seen the DA-DT thing come and go right now it's back on.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Hmmm. I'm going to buck the trend here. I think you missed an opportunity to show your wife the other side of you. I'm sure you could have come up with a photo that was not incriminating, say, a photo with your head cropped out, or fuzzed out, or a photo at a distance where your face wasn't clear enough to be used in a court of law.

Easy for me to say. I swing back and forth somtimes with cover stories answering questions truthfully.

[laurie01]

Send her your very favorite photo. One that you look really cute and totally passable. Just send her one. If she wants to see another photo, then just let her know the next time you both see each other she can. She would probably get interested on how you learned your skills and it could make her more accepting to your CDing.

[Princess Grandpa]

In the end, should she again want it, I don't see how the request could really be denied. I can't think of nothing I could say to explain not sending it.

Hug
Rita

[Tracii G]

Well seems she does not want one after all so end of the issue.
Lori every woman I have ever known sets a plan before they do something so I stand firm on what I said.LOL

[Rebecca Watson]

Much as I would like to agree with those saying "go for it" I do see a red flag not yet addressed by Rebecca. Overseas with relatives, right? I would have less of a concern if the spouse and children were alone but how accepting are the relatives? Do your children know and are accepting? What are the chances that these relatives might sway her? Unanswered questions to this point but have you already asked yourself these same questions?
Julie

Yes, overseas with relatives. My oldest child hasn't even started school yet, so they're much too young to understand.

I think about these issues a lot. My wife and I are from very different backgrounds (I don't want to get too specific here); my wife is from a more "traditional" background (transgenderism is largely unheard of). However, allowing their daughter to marry a foreigner means that my wife's family are more accepting than the majority. Curiously, my wife's family are generally more accepting than my wife herself. There's also a language barrier, since they don't speak English. It's unclear to me what their opinions might be---too many hidden variables.

- Becky

[Lacyfem]

You really sound like you have it under control and know for yourself what the right thing to do is. Much like all of us you ask for advice and then do what you want to do anyway. At least I do. Enjoy your femside and dressing and hopefully your wife will come to love you as much as woman as she does a man.

Indeed it is!! But I think I've now decided to double-check next time we chat to make sure she definitely understands what she asked for.



*giggle* I've got more than one! I suspect I'm not the only one here who posts things that they're not so open about back home.



And thank you for this advice. It's akin to advising someone to wear a life jacket when boating; it might not apply, but if it did, it would make a drastic difference. There's a number of people who have been seriously burned on this forum, so it's a possibility in general, and being a child of divorced parents, I know how hard it is for all involved. Nevertheless, my wife has never given me a reason to mistrust her.

- Becky