Hi and welcome!
I didn't have to tell my wife because I never had crossdressed or even thought about it until we had been married for 34 years. At that point we started joking with each other one day, I purchased some items, modeled them, and within 48 hours Tina was born and we've never looked back! Tina has always been a joint endeavor of the two of us, and that has made it incredibly special!
Ok, I was into crossdressing as an adolescent, but buried it pretty deep. I came out to my then fiancee as bisexual, and she responded by squealing in joy and coming out to me, not only as bi, but kinky. She begged me to explore it, and get a boyfriend. I did, and its a master/slave relationship, with me being a slave. As part of my Masters intake, he asked me what I'd done, what I was interested in, and what I would or wouldn't do. I happened to mention crosdressing and forced feminization. He immediately siezed on that and pushed me into it. When I told my wife I had been challenged, she again squealed with joy, and ran out and started shopping. She does my makeup, helps me get dressed, and goes shopping with me and runs interference. She's adoped Nikki as her lesbian girlfiend and BFF.
We now go out cruising for guys to share! Yes, were upfront in all cases! Not tryin to trick anyone!
I never told my wife and I believe that she never discovered my secret.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
I think the term "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy was co-opted by Bill Clinton from cross dressing! That sums up what my wife thinks about it. We had THE discussion like everyone else. Fortunately, she also realized cross dressing was only a small part of who I was. Frankly, she knew of my "manliness" (11B20) before WE knew of my interest in wearing women's clothing.
it has been great learning about everyone. im glad that i asked the question. i thought i was the only one that had the fears (hubby being gay, leaving, ect.). there are times that the fears do resurfaces. but i know that none of it true. thank you all for the stories
Oddly enough, last night my wife once again casually said to me that I was a 'bit of a woman'. She's said it before and leads me to suspect she knows even though she hasn't addressed it. I suppose she might be afraid that it would let the genie out of the bottle. Plus all the usual fears.
Later on, it was a hot night so I went to put on a pair of shorts. When I came back, I stopped at the door and played a little joke. I said something along the lines of: 'Now I don't want you to be surprised but I changed into something that I feel comfortable wearing. I think you've suspected this all along.' In I walked and she laughed if perhaps a trifle nervously. Perhaps I missed a chance to gently bring up the subject and gauge her reaction.
Ironically the casual trousers I took off were female and the shorts male. She also knows I have bought female clothes. In fact I gave her a pair that were a bit too tight on me. She knows they're women's and said so.
Maybe I'll do something similar tonight. Knowing her as I do maybe if I was too blatant she might panic and react badly. I really don't want to hurt her. But all the clues are there that she has to be aware that it's a possibility. I would like to be able to bring it into the open. At the very least because I could relax about it and it stops being an issue for me. It's hard that the person, I'm closest to in the world doesn't know but quite a few others do including some sisters and friends.
It's hard to know how to go.
Last edited by mariehart; 07-11-2013 at 07:39 AM.
If you think your ready to tell your wife, I hope all goes well. Based on the shorts story (quite amusing btw), I have to agree she probably knows. I still wouldn't just go get dressed and surprise her. I think a well planned talk has a better chance of promoting peace and harmony.
I hope for all the best for you. Keep us updated how it goes.
Hug
Rita
Last edited by Sandra; 07-11-2013 at 12:59 PM. Reason: No need to quote the post above you, please read the rules about quoting posts.
A person should wear what he likes to. And not just what other folks say. A person should be who she likes to. A person's a person that way!
~Marlo Thomas~
Thanks Rita, thinking about it. Maybe the way to go would be to repeat the joke but ask her how she would react if I did walk in wearing a skirt or something. Depending on her reaction, I could take it from there. A big negative would the worst possibility. A simple 'I wouldn't mind' would be positive. Probably she'd say: 'I would not be surprised' and leave it at that.
I'll take it slow anyway.
My wife and I had a full bagpipe band at our wedding. We were talking about the wedding one day and she said it would have been hot if I showed up to the wedding in a kilt. So I asked her how come that would be okay but wearing a poofy dress with big puffy sleeves wouldn't be okay. To my surprise she said that would be okay too. Kinda went from there.
Gwendolyn
Around year 25 my wife wanted a recommitment ceremony. She was so lovy-dovy. So...I got overconfident...or maybe just careless--she came home early and found me in her clothes and wig.
"I have a secret hobby, sweetheart!"
She let out a long string of profanity. Back to neutral in a few days. But now she is non-supportive in the last 10 years. I take a few photos when she is gone for a long period of time she is OK with that. She insists that I get off of this site if she comes into the room.
Its funny really. When she first met me she thought I was a girl. She thought she wasn't a lesbian, but was really attracted to this long-haired almost frail "girl". She was ecstatic when she found out later I was a guy. We dated the first year of college, then during the summer break I went home. We were getting pretty serious so I felt the summer was a good time to tell her all about me. IF she didn't want the relationship to proceed, then we had the summer apart to heal. Her response came in two parts. First, she wrote back that as long as I didn't want to "be" a girl she was ok with whatever I wore. The second part arrived in the mail about a week later...a pink bra/pantie set. I asked her to marry me the next day.
Nice! In your shoes, (or bra and panties) i would have done the same. Keeper!Originally Posted by Jennifer in CO
"Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO
Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.
The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.
Hi Nikki - welcome to the forum
Wow, what a great story - very similar to my own with some variation. Would love to share more. Pls PM if you want to.
Hugs
Bree.
My SO found out after she saw me dressed.
She did not recognize me when in drab and thought I was someone else.
It was a fortnight before she found out the two people were one person.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
My wife knew about my second wardrobe from the early stages of our relationship, though neither of us understood at the time just how deep this part of me went. She was supportive from the outset despite not really knowing where it would lead. Even when it was frightening and confusing for her, she still wanted me to be true to myself. Eventually she helped me get past some of my fears even as we were working through hers.
I know my transition was hard for her in innumerable ways. I'm immensely grateful that she was willing to see it through and continue to build a life together.
~ Kimberly
“To escape criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard
I did it by saying exactly what is in my signature. I wish I had done it 20 years ago
my wife was my secretary 20 years ago and opened all my mail for me. one day a box came in she opened it and walked in with new breast forms i had ordered. she wanted to know what it was for so i explained to her.she was married to someone and left him several years latter moved to las vegas and moved back .we met at a party and got to talking she wanted to see me dressed so i showed her . she said she had found a girlfriend when she wanted it.i explained that i had prostate cancer and the surgery had left me impotent. she said we need to solve your other problem then and i have been living female ever since.
[SIZE="3"]ELIZABETH NICOLE[/SIZE] eat drink and be Mary cause its better than being Gary.
Not long after we married we were riding down the road talking about our relationship and past experiences with ex's. She told me about her ex husband and that she had found a dress in box under his work bench and she thought he was going out on her and that it was the other woman's dress. I told her that maybe he was crossdressing and he wore it when she was gone. She told me that she didn't like that he was keeping secrets and that she could deal with a lot of things but that. We both decided that we would never do that to each other and that's when I couldn't stand it any longer so I told her about myself and crossdressing. Of course she had the standard questions and when I assured her that she didn't have to worry about any of that, she said she was ok with it. She is the most wonderful woman in the world and I would never do anything to purposely hurt her and she knows that. Well now we share clothing and we shop together and life has been what it should be, fun. If fact I am wearing one of her tops right now. It's pink (my favorite color) with butterfly's and glitter on it. Hugs Jeannie.
Marilyn Monroe: I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot.
the first person I told was a girlfriend I had in high school and we were getting serious. Our relationship lasted into college, but broke off because we were in different schools and it did not work out. 'The second girlfriend I told was my present wife. I told her 2 months in when it appeared we were getting serious. we eventually married and we have been together 33+ years. I knew at an early age it was something I had to do and felt it right to inform to any girl I was getting serious with that this was a part of me and it would not go away. I am an advocate of disclosure and find that disclosure early in the relationship can avoid major issues in the future when couple become invested in each other and the partner discloses years into the marriage.
Disclosing early gives the partner the choice to stay or go and I found it much easier to store my clothes on hangars and my dresser in view than try to find hiding spots. I did that growing up and was always fearful of my parents finding out. I was not going to do that with someone I was seriously getting involved with.
"When failure is off the table the only thing left is to negotiate levels of success" M Hobbes
"Never Let your Fear Decide Your Fate" Awolnation
"A new dawn destroys the tranquility of the darkness" Steph W
That is good to hear that you still have a strong relationship after he told you. I don't feel so lucky. She kept finding my shoe collection with some fetish woman clothing. I kept promising to get rid of them but threw away the things I had no interest in and hid the rest somewhere else. She kept finding my hiding spots. The lies just kept building. The last time I thought she found my stash again but she actually found stuff I hid long ago. When she confronted me this time I came clean and told her. At that time my dressing drastically progressed from wearing heels to having a complete outfit from the head down. She was very distraught and I really thought we were through. We are still together and she constantly tells me how much she loves me but deep down I know I let her down. I broke her trust and feel bad about doing it but I feel like this is me and can't stop.
I told her before we were married. She still chose to stay with me. We've been married now for 45-years.
I blurted it out on my 2nd date with my SO over 20 years ago. Its the best way then everybody can decide if they can handle it in the relationship or not.
My SO often, not always encourages me to do it.
Actually, with my SO and myself; she figured it out before I did!
I had convinced myself that my desire to dress up for Halloween in a feminine outfit was just that and no more. I have no idea what I would have done after Halloween. I had put off my pre-teen dressing as simple childish curiosity. Hah!
I had been practicing make up; got good at that but not so good at make up removal. She noted that and put 2 and 2 together. Very bright lady. She asked, I told!
She has been very supportive. She likes having some one to shop with and tends to spoil me rotten! Tough life, eh?
Don't have a wife or even a GF, but I plan to tell her to her face to face when there is some evidence of the relationship growing past casual dating.
I know that Skype wasn't the best way but when you're halfway across the world and your only options are Skype, Facebook, Yahoo or over the phone.....there's not much you can do....either way, I'm glad you were accepting my dear and I love you very much
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