New Roommate

[DanaGirl]

I recently had a friend of mine move in with me (she lost her house and needed a place to stay). I've know her forever but she doesn't know about the crossdressing so I am not going to be able to really dress up while she is living here. It has only been a couple weeks and already I find myself missing it, it's bad enough I cant shave my legs because its summer now I cant practice my makeup or anything. I'm thinking about telling her but I'm not sure that's a good idea, maybe ill just have to wait thing out before I can get dressed again. on the bright side I've been on a diet and lost like 10lbs so maybe by the time she moves out ill be a sexy bitch lol.

anyway just thought id vent to you girls about my problem.

[Lorileah]

just tell her, get it over with. What if she stays a year? Are you willing to hide all that time? It is your house, she doesn't have to see it but you should not give it up. Who knows it could open up a whole new world for both of you.

[pedalpusher]

just tell her, get it over with. What if she stays a year? Are you willing to hide all that time? It is your house, she doesn't have to see it but you should not give it up. Who knows it could open up a whole new world for both of you.

Dana,

I agree with this....she may end up sharing things with you....

[mikiSJ]

It is your house and while I appreciate you helping your friend your needs are also important.

Either arrange to get your friend another place to live or open up to her. You'll quickly find out what type of friend she is (hopefully, a very good friend)!

[Sabrina133]

So why don't you tell her ... Its your house and you certainly the right to do in it what you please? Are you afraid she'll tell others or that she'll judge. Given that you are giving her a place to live, she should certainly not judge. If she's uncomfortable with it, she can certainly leave.

[Tracii G]

She is going to snoop when you aren't home so just tell her.

[Chickhe]

No no....don't tell her. Show her. She doesn't need to know your inner feelings, just do it. My favorite would be Halloween, but that's a long way off... so maybe bring her to watch a drag show or something and just tell her you think its cool how that can do it so well... see how receptive she is. But, whatever you do, do it from a positive point of view...that its interesting, it doesn't phase you, its just something wild and crazy to do. Show her a fun time and you will overcome the preconceptions she might have. Keep away from emotional baggage you have from a lifetime of hiding...just do it, have fun. I think what scares people, is thinking you are unstable, scared, ashamed etc... make it about just clothes having fun and I guarantee its as cool as wearing a cosplay outfit. As for all the other stuff, shaving, waxing ...nails... just do it, you don't have to tell her why just that you enjoy it.

[Tracii G]

Chickhe has a good point don't tell her all the whys about why you do it just tell her its fun and you enjoy it.
She will know you are still a guy but have the confidence to step out of the box and enjoy something most guys would be afraid to do.

[Sandieland]

Dana, you said you would be "a sexy bitch" when you lose more weight. Well, take off the word "bitch" and save the word "sexy", because that's what you are. As to who you would "out" yourself to... only you can guess how your friend would react. Maybe you could use an "end run" - open your computer, find a news article, website, etc. showing crossdressers, and as you are viewing it, bring up the subject to your friend: "You know, this is interesting. What do you think? Think I would look good dressed as a female?". Who knows, she might jump right in and volunteer to do a make over for fun - and if she is positive about this... then break the news.

[Lorileah]

She is going to snoop when you aren't home so just tell her.

That is SOOOO true.

[kimdl93]

I agree with Lori. Its nice that you're providing her a place to stay and if she's close enough to share a place with you for a while, she's close enough to be trusted with that information. You're not imposing on her, quite the contrary, and I'm sure she appreciates that you're accommodating her (literally). She can be accommodating as well.

[Jamiegirl1]

you should tell her and go on living your life the way you want to......you will be miserable if you can't dress!

[Beverley Sims]

It is frustrating sometimes when your dressing activities are curtailed by having company around.
I think of the friendship I engender in the process and dressing is a small sacrifice.

[Julie Bender]

Well I am a gg but I think I am bias lol
However I agree with lorileah. Though I don't know your roomate's life style or personality.
This is hard for you *hugs* you may be better off just being straight foreword with her. She has been your friend for years.
I hope you get closer. The besty experience is awesome

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I have to agree with everyone here. It'll come out somehow especially if she snoops while you're away. I'd bet room mates are tempted to snoop anyway. Plus you're doing her a favor of having a place to stay. My only concern would be the fact that you might get outed to others. Here's a what if-----What if you got into an argument and she held the threat of outing you? Sometimes the best of friends can break a friend relationship and the results will have repercussions. Make sure she doesn't have any pictures of you dressed! Maybe I'm being too paranoid for you but you never know.

Cheryl Ann

[Farrah]

Its your home. I say just tell her. She either live with it or leave.

[VAWyman]

A true friend is someone who knows all about you, and it doesn't matter.
A true love is someone who puts you on a pedestal, and when you fall, they're there to catch you.

[AllieSF]

Yeah, this sounds just like those periodic "Tell your SO and damn the consequences" recommendations you see here every so often. Everyone's situation is different and no one here is in your shoes. Only you can guess what might happen if you tell her. You have to weigh the risks with its potential benefits and non-benefits. I agree that telling her will at least get your secret activities out in the open to a house mate. However, if she takes it badly, or even well, and then tells others, the cat is more than out of the bag with no hope of getting it back in. You are a great person to help a friend out that way. Sometimes friendship is so important that we are willing to sacrifice a little of our freedom to help out others. I commend you for this. Chose wisely and good luck.

[Kimberly Kael]

The middle ground here is to start exploring whether or not she's likely to be open-minded about it. I suspect taking her to a drag show is a little overt, but perhaps a sympathetic movie? Something like Kinky Boots would provide an opportunity to talk about the subject without making it personal. At least then you could make a more informed decision about how to proceed.

[DanaGirl]

well she knows I wear woman's underwear I have for years, but she doesn't have a clue about the bras, makeup skirts and heels. I am thinking of telling her but I am just afraid she will think I am weird or something

[kimdl93]

Ok so wearing anything but panties is weird'? Seriously, it sounds like the horses are out of the barn. It's not a big step from knowing you wear panties to guessing that you do more than that. She's already adjusted her opinion of you based on the earlier information,so why not just sit down and talk with her.

[Princess Grandpa]

Before you come out to her you have to evaluate and be prepared for the worst possible outcome and be prepared to accept them. It could be you tell her and it opens up a whole new aspect to your friendship. I'm cynical. I would assume once she knows she will tell someone. It's too good of a story not to share.

It's your home. You should be comfortable in your own home. Your kind enough to help her when she needs you and she should be able to respect your right to be yourself in your own home.

If you were able to come out t her and be who you are, your life would be much better. If the repercussions of things going poorly are more than you ca cope with you need to put a lock on your door and stay in your room until she leaves. I hope you will keep us advised of what you do. I would love to read in a couple days how you have a new bestie. I would understand if I heard you decided to keep your secret. I fear to read "everyone knows! My life is ruined" which of course it wouldn't be. But might feel that way at first.

Hug
Rita

[Tracii G]

Its your home and if she can't deal with it she can look for another place.
I hate to sound like a bitch but thats how I feel about it.
I will not lets others run my life.

[Aly Cat]

I say for the next few weeks, just hint at it by making comments like....those shoes are really cute or i love that skirt/dress. After a few weeks of comments, shell either think you are hitting on her and trying to make moves or shell get an idea of you crossdressing. After a few weeks of that, just casually bring it up like...so i got a pair of shoes like yours because i loved them so much/would you mind if i tried on that skirt you wore a while back(assuming you two are similar in size) so that i csn see how it looks. I was thinking about getting something similar. It opens it up for conversation with low pressure. Shell already be wondering whats up and then youll be able to talk about it.

[Leah Lynn]

Dana, Have you established a time frame for this stay? I remember having a friend "stay a little while" when he and the SO split up. Several months later, I was ready to kill him just to be rid of him. I finally had to throw him out, and a great friendship was ruined. He helped himself to my (drab) clothes, ate my food, drank my beer, ran up my phone bill and thought I was being the @$$hole. Not to mention that I couldn't dress around him, as he was a major homophobe, and cd's to him were "homo's in dresses".

I doubt that your friend will turn out like that, but soon it will seem like she's imposing. Unless she's cool with you dressing.

Leah

Okay, looking back on it, it really wasn't THAT great a friendship to begin with.