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Thread: How many of us are bigendered???

  1. #1
    Member melissakozak's Avatar
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    How many of us are bigendered???

    Do any of you perceive yourself as two in one? My gender counselor and I have been exploring my identity intensely for the past year and have come to some conclusions, and I am sure others identify with some of what I have discovered.
    My male identity has only developed because of socialization, not internal identification. My female identity is stronger than my male identity. I would transition if I was younger. My CDing has precious little to do with clothing....anyone else in this kind of boat???

  2. #2
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    I guess I'll raise my hand. It's been a long time since I went through therapy, but I came out of it with an understanding of who I was that for the first time wasn't negative. Although we didn't use the term bi gendered we arrived at a similar definition...an identity that had both male and female attributes, with the female side having been largely suppressed for decades...and with the predictable consequences. My male identity was in part wired in, but also reflected a matter of self preservation...as a child I got those indistinct messages that the feminine nature was NOT appropriate for a BM.

    I don't know if I'll ever be able to say what I might have done had my realization come earlier. I can say that today, I prefer living as a woman, and grudgingly accommodate the male side from time to time.

  3. #3
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    Yea, socialization has caused a lot of problems for a lot of us, we're suppose to fit the role or be what someone else says we are suppose to be, and it smells like roting fish. How unfair for society to look down on us when they are the wimps that are led and conform to what others before them have said this is what you wear or do, sounds like mindless sheep being led to slaughter. You've got to give the weaker sex credit for not being controlled by a discrimenatory society, they wear anything they choose, on the other hand they are discrematory against men crossdressing. Sounds like CDers are getting slamed from everybody. If we could wake up one morning and all male clothing had disappeared then maybe CD's would stand a chance. Oh well, same old same old.

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member Ellie52's Avatar
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    Sorry Ive had too much red wine tonight - I thought this thread said how many of us are big ended. I read it again and I must say honestly I cant make up my mind. I love being Ellie but I USED TO function better as my male self. Ellie is only a relatively recent part of my life (about 9 months) but my male self is 52yrs old. Ellie is pushing her way ever stronger into my life. She came about after I finally came out to my wife 2yrs ago (she named me Eloise) but I find it harder everyday to keep her at bay. I see her everywhere, and when I dress as Ellie I cannot tear myself from the mirror. I wonder what the future holds as Ellie gets stronger. Its a very weird situation....Ellie
    Sometimes just a skirt is all I need..............

  5. #5
    Member DeidraDee63's Avatar
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    Yes without a shadow of a doubt! In my situation I always thought it would be my secret and suppressed it and still do; however due to medical issues that may soon end. Long story short due to Osteoporosis and several surgeries I was on Testosteron for three years well it did nothing to help the bone loss, in fact it got worse. I now had a choice move my pain meds up to Morphine or try Estrogen well no choice took the Estrogen and I have not only benefit from the mental calmness but am now down to one pain pill a day. Six plus years of heavy pain meds to almost none in three weeks will I ever stop the little blue pill, probably no way! My wife supports my decision and will accept the side effects as she is a nurse, sees many feminine attributes in me plus she hated my attitude on the T and Pain med cocktail and so did I. Deidra has been a part of me since I was five and she gets stronger each day. I do not know what the future holds but I know Deidra is ready to BLOW the closet door off and if that happens there will be no turning back. My male identity has had a good life but my female side is now ready to take over. Sorry for rambling but thank you for this thread. Oh, I was exposed to DES prenatal. I know this is weird but there are 15 doctors who can not figure this out either and conclude it is probably a mild variation of an intersex condition.
    Last edited by DeidraDee63; 07-12-2013 at 10:42 AM.

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    I don't know if I'm "bi-gendered" or not. Although I am "bi"...and quite comfortable with that. Although I like women, I am more inclined these days to like simply being with women. I am more comfortable with them. As to men, I don't seem to identify with them as much anymore...except sexually - and that's not much of a driving force within me anymore. I know that when I'm with a man I sense my feminine self coming to the foreground and wanting to satisfy him as a woman. Oh my, I do sound like such a **** with this (lol). With that said, when I'm dressed I find sex has a minor role for me...I am satisfied by simply "being" a woman. And like a woman, I also get disgusted when I'm at my favorite CD/TG bar and some dude (gay or not) seems to assume that I'm open to screwing any guy (or crossdresser) who comes through the door, simply because I'm a crossdresser. It really does dismay me that even within the gay community that men think that, when I dress, I'm in heat. Yuck!

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I have given up wondering what I am.
    These days I am what I am.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  8. #8
    Senior Member mikiSJ's Avatar
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    There are three of me: Michael, the masculine and very serious, hard, competitive, standoffish, arrogant, businesslike, male; Mikey the prankster; and, Miki, the feminine person who wants to merge the best of all three of me into a person whi is nice to be with, sensitive, thoughtful...all of the things a woman mostly is and a man mostly isn't.
    When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.

  9. #9
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I'm not that sure it can really be clearly defined. I love being who I am whether it's one way or the other.
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  10. #10
    Hi, I'm Ria xdressed's Avatar
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    I identify as bi-gendered ^_^

    I only realized around this time last year that that's why I am the way I am and it took longer still to really understand it (to some degree I still am). I only found out recently that there are such thing as singlets and multiples. Singlets (like myself) are bi-gendered people who don't change dramatically when there gender shifts, they keep the same general personality, taste in music, are still attracted to the same sex(s) as they are when in male mode etc but it all comes with a sort of 'filter' related to whichever gender mode you're in at the time. Multiples actually have a full personality shift, often acting and thinking completely differently, liking different films or music and even having a totally different sexuality. Sadly people often accuse multiples of having MPD or some other disorder which is really harmful for people like them, as if it isn't hard enough already.

    I strongly recommend bigender.net/forum for those who are bi-gender or otherwise non-binary, it's a really great site that I joined recently and it really needs some more members I think.

    Also on a related note I am currently in the planning process for a project about my own bi-genderism for university, I really can't wait to get going with that ^_^
    Bi-Gendered, Goth/Metal Fan, Atheist, Artist and British

  11. #11
    Silver Member daviolin's Avatar
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    I kind of think of Daviolin as the twin sister I never had. Daviolin
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    A CD AND HIS WARDROBE, ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING.

  12. #12
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    Count me inas well. My two gendered selves have identifiable unique characteristics. My wife defines it as 'two apps working on the same database'. I think that hitsthe nail squarely.

  13. #13
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    I'm the same, two very distinct gender roles all mixed into one person.
    Sexually I can go either way if its the right person.Love means everything and if love is not there sex does not happen.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 07-12-2013 at 12:49 PM.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.

  14. #14
    Junior Member SuzieLod's Avatar
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    Sum, ergo sum

    am, therefore i am

  15. #15
    ~ M2F Lezzie ~ Annaliese2010's Avatar
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    Not intrested in anything male. Only attracted to other females whether GG or truly deep M2F transgendered lezzies, like muah.

  16. #16
    Member dragdoll's Avatar
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    I used to think I was "gender neutral" but bi-gendered is more fitting. I spend way too much time thinking about my female persona. At one point I thought I could merge my two different gender identities into one but that just caused a lot of problems for me, mainly in my social life.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Debglam's Avatar
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    I do. I have also heard the term "middle path" and believe that fits as well. Without going into the gory details, I probably would have transitioned at an earlier point in my life but that train has left the station without me. Whether it is socialization or the point where I have been able to balance my own level of gender dysphoria I just don't know.

    Quote Originally Posted by xdressed View Post
    I strongly recommend bigender.net/forum for those who are bi-gender or otherwise non-binary, it's a really great site that I joined recently and it really needs some more members I think.

    Also on a related note I am currently in the planning process for a project about my own bi-genderism for university, I really can't wait to get going with that ^_^
    Thanks for the link (and good luck with your project). I can't wait to check it out.

    Debby
    Debby

  18. #18
    between worlds... steftoday's Avatar
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    This is exactly what I'm trying to figure out (with help)...
    When the answers escape us when we start to fade
    Remember who loved you and the ones who have stayed
    Cause my body will fail, but my soul will go on
    So don't you get lonely I'm right where you are

  19. #19
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    Hi Melissa, How can you be a crossdresser and not be Bigendered ??
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

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  20. #20
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    uh....me.

    Wanna know what it's really like being bigender?.....having two identities you love, and don't want to give up.

    FYI, I have a number of friends who identify as one gender only, and they happen to be transsexual. They do what's best for them. They have my 1000% support, Peace & love, you all matter to me. However, such things merely reinforce who I really am.

    I am grateful to have been in the deepest of transgender communities. I will always be there ,with my support for all.

    Peace & love, Peace & love, in an annoying Beatles' Ringo sort of way.
    Last edited by NathalieX66; 07-12-2013 at 09:12 PM.

  21. #21
    Member mirandacdgirl's Avatar
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    I feel the same way! I was raised to think and feel it was wrong to want to dress like a girl..etc. I spent most of my time playing drums and listening to music. I kept my feeling bottled up for years. I would have transitioned if i had been truthful to myself when I was younger.

  22. #22
    Member julia ann's Avatar
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    A little off the topic here but you said "I would transition if I was younger" if transitioning were to take 2,3,5 years how old will you be in 2,3,5 years if you don't transition - just an off topic thought

  23. #23
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    I had an afterthought partly prompted by the comments of others and partly reflecting the experiences of the past few years. I suspect that, in addition to peeling back the layers of repression that masked our nature, each of us here is also realizing possibilities we never imagined could be.

    It's not that long ago that I first tried on a dress, crudely applied some makeup and stood in front of a mirror for the first time. At that moment, despite the garish appearance of my face and the masculine haircut, I saw the possibility, for the first time, that I could do this. And with each passing month and each milestone, I've grown more conscious of, and more confident in the possibility of living much, perhaps most of my life as a woman. The time I spend as male is a compromise, not something I regret, but not something I need. I don't bother looking back because I only live now...this is my life.

  24. #24
    Curmudgeon Member donnalee's Avatar
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    I don't know if I can divide myself in that way; I still feel no separation of 2 selves, rather a whole with characteristics that could be attributed to either side.
    ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!

    "The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)

  25. #25
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi,

    When your born both male / female you dont have to work out what you are you know, & you cant be one or the other, for myself there is no male / female. its one. theres no seperation nore can be. so its simple really. though we are called interesexed, so my name says it all noel show's my maleness & noeleena shows my femaleness,

    Though most know me as noeleena & a female / woman. with a maleness about myself more to do with my facial features, even my hormones worked for me in some aspects with in my body. other wise im a intersex female. .

    One detail is i never thought as male or acted as one my thinking has allways been female & that became more to the fore, as i was growing, though i could do many things males did / do just could not think male, oh well dont matter now,

    ...noeleena...

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