You have heard from far wiser girls than me. You will absolutely know it when you need it. Yes, compromises do hurt, and often just delay the inevitable, which makes the hurt even deeper I fear.
Key point is that you are at peace with what you have right now. I truly wish that for you and for all here.
Barbara
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
Melissa,Originally Posted by Badtranny
I tended to have feminine movements even before the hormones. It is not like I was some really macho man (except for my voice!) and I suddenly turned into a dainty lady!
If you look closely a male brushes the hair from his eyes if he has long hair with his fingers bent. A genetic woman on the other hand holds the fingers straight, which I do.
Johanna
John (Legal name)
Preferred pronouns: he, his, him
Well, I have managed to keep my GD under some control, but is "control" compromise and is my male life just a matter of convenience at this point????
This is where the hard part comes into play. We can tell you about our experiences. We can give you advice. That is all we can do. You are the only one that can determine if control is a compromise and you are the only one that can determine if your male life is just a matter of convenience for you.
Having to look like a man at times is damned inconvenient thank you very much. I do it for now because I have no choice.Once I have completed the preparations I will not have to do it anymore. But for now I need the employment so I will go slow for them. (we are working out a solution so it is only temporary)
Last edited by Angela Campbell; 07-16-2013 at 06:56 AM.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
MelissaK,
I didn't bring up HRT. My therapist did. She plainly stated that she believes I would probably pursue HRT if my life circumstances were different. As for the clothing bit; she knows I am only crossdressing as a bridge to my inner identity. Clothes honestly don't do much for me. No, I am not chewing holes in doors about this. The burning issue for me right now is that I would like to be able to present as a woman to those who are close to me as well, not just my close LGBT friends. A lot of people know but the DADT policy sucks for me. My entire family knows about me and so do most of my closest friends, but 'knowing' and 'tolerating' is not acceptance. I am fortunate enough to have one close female friend who will go out with me.
There is so much fear and trepidation surrounding trans issues it is not even funny. First, there is our own fear. Second, there is our family's fear. Then there is fear of fear itself. I have arrived at a point of self acceptance, and that is key for me. My counselor and I are working out the ins and outs as to how I am living this double life. So far, it IS working. So far, I am content. So far, no HRT because I believe HRT is a step in the direction of living permanently in girl mode. Not feeling that much GD to go down that road. She says I need to get out more and do more as Melissa and get a lot more RLE, and I agree, so that is what I am doing. I can get more experiences without starting HRT and living full time. Granted, living part time and full time are two entirely different experiences; I know that.
Melissa I think you're in a great place. It's working for you and you are dealing with it in an intelligent, informed way. If you don't need to transition it's best not to. I wish I didn't need to start the process but my brain wouldn't shut down. I started HRT to be able to function more than anything else. My wife watched me melting down and was in agreement. If I needed to go further with this I would not transition in place that's for sure. I'm sort of trapped due to financial issues and it's not fun.
An intolerant family would not help you during transition that's for sure. Best of luck.
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