Plain ol boring CDers

[Amanda22]

Hi Greenie. I haven't read any of the previous 49 responses; I'm sure they're great and I hope they're helpful. If your SO comes back to the forum, there'll always be a predominance of supportive respondents along with a few who really aren't. It's the nature of an online forum, unfortunately. It's kind of humorous that although we're such a thin and oft misunderstood slice of the general population, us crossdressers often establish some sort of pecking order amongst ourselves. We compare those who dress only privately to those who dress publicly, those who present all-femme versus those who do the male/female mixture, and those who keep it a secret to those who share with their loved one(s). I've been told I bring "2.much.drama" in my posts and that events I recount for the benefit of the forum didn't really happen like I said they did. I'll swear off this forum at times like that and then come back a few months later. My wife laughs at me when I say, "I'm so mad and I'm never going back!" because she knows it's probably just a matter of days till I'm posting again.

Anyhow, please tell your SO to come back. I think we need more participants who don't do the full-femme thing and just want to do what they want. Although I try to "pass" as a female, there are days I want to throw on a dress and just go without the makeup and hair. I hope my rambling is of some help to you both.

[artofbalance]

I haven't read this to much detail, so I'm just throwing my .02 in without reading all the replies. I wear what I want, when I want. Sometimes i wear a skirt an an AC/DC tshirt. I don't always present as female, and don't care. If people on this board don't like it, I don't know. I never get into those kind of discussions. There are other reasons I don't say much on this board and don't join in the conversation or start any. Greenie, there are a lot of people like him, so I hope he doesn't get discouraged.

[giuseppina]

Hello Greenie and Luca

I lurked here for years before I joined.

There are some threads I don't comment on. Controversial subjects are a prime candidate for a "hands off" treatment. I've complained about a few things that are often acted upon by the mods, and I've also had a few posts deleted.

There are always pot stirrers in life. Some have a genuine and laudable purpose; others are just making trouble. I've learned to ignore the troublemakers. If they get too egregious, I complain hoping the mods agree.

I have no interest whatever in going out en femme. If I ever find a soulmate, she will have a lot of convincing to do to get me past the doorway of home, or past the property line if suitably private. For me, dressing is an escape from the mental health effects of a lifetime of unnecessary adverse events.

[Robin777]

Hi greenish I dress at home almost full time no makeup no wig usually just forms bra and comfortable girl clothes there are a lot of like that.

I also do the same thing but at night after work. I have done it that way for my whole adult life. I am thinking about getting a wig and makeup and occasionally wearing them and going out in public once or twice. I don't need the wig or makeup to think of myself as a woman.

I don't really have the time at night to go the whole nine yards. I can imagine what I would look like without the rest of package. So that makes me a lot like your BF.

[Susan.]

Luca, you are more of a mainstream CDer than most of the posting members here. Most of the CDers here are more out and more into crossdressing. Take any advice with a grain of salt.

Not only is everyone different, but we are all dynamic and ever changing. I used to be more mainstream and wore few clothes for relatively short intervals. As I got older I started to want and or need more. Though I never went out dressed, I got everything including the forms and wigs, etc. Since however, I purged and for the past year I have not dressed at all.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I can't prove it, but I think many of the CDs here haven't stepped out of the house. There may be many others just like you who aren't posting. You see a lot of posts that say, "went out for the first time", "went to MAC for the first time" or "finally got up the muffins to go shopping". Those kinds of threads may sound more exciting than "I put on my favorite dress and had a bottle of wine with my SO", but they're no more valid.

Did you post "I just like to put on a pretty dress and walk around the house. No forms, no make-up, and no wig. Anyone else like me?"

[Avrial]

Hello Luca and Greenie!

As you can see by my very low post count, I don't chime in often, like many of us "plain ol boring" CDers. Logged in just to say you're not alone.

The regulars are the ones really "into it", and understandably, they post more often. I have looked at other forums, and this is the best of them for people like us. There's less for us to talk about with those who fully dress, but when you do have the opportunity to contribute, please do.

[ThiHi]

Very understandable. While i'm pretty 'girly' just because of how I look and who I am, I'm not trying to 'pass'. I'm just wearing what I want to, which is usually Mary Janes, cute clothes, etc. I really don't care what side of the store I get them from, but it's usually the women's side, 'cause it's more fun there.

I pop in from time to time, check in, sometimes respond (but not often, as you can tell) Lots of ways to be who you are. ;-)

[AshleyW]

(I didn't read this whole thread 'cause it's looooong.)
As for me, I occasionally dress all the way (and enjoy doing so), but much more often I'll just put a skirt on or maybe some mascara and present as a feminine man rather than a woman.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Greenie/Luca:

I've felt the way you have. Sometimes I feel like a crossdressing underachiever here because of my particular habits. I've been turned off by more dogmatic and opinionated posters as well.

Would I like to look half as good dressed as many members, and be able to walk around in the real world with my heels, hose, dresses and skirts? Sure. I'd also like to be an adolescent, knowing what I know now and able to make different decisions. Neither will happen, so I'm content to be a plain old CD-albeit with specific fantasies-and am very happy I have been able to indulge them. And to do so without ruining my marriage or anything else in the process.

Please stick around. We need people like you on this forum.

Shibumi

[Imeni]

You know, not having read many of the other posts, I can't say for certain if any of it was what you were looking for but I hope somewhere in the sea of pink fog and posts, a small tidbit of something real hit home.

Each one of us here who post are different from each other. Some are crossdressers, some are GG's and many silent watchers of threads, like myself, keep in the background mostly because I feel that in my lifestyle, I feel almost like a poser. I don't go out as a female, nor does my mentality change while I do. I just really, really like dresses and all things associated with them. Sadly, my feet are stupid big and with my body shape I resemble more of a gorilla than a lady but does that stop me from enjoying my dress up sessions? Nope. I think that you need to realize that while you can find some answers on here, you should try a few selective posts and find some like minded people on the forums for a more personal appeal. Like makeup? Find some people on here to chat with for tips and stories. Looking for some guys who just like the dresses and the sensations behind it? I'm one of em, toss me a private message and I'll respond. Hell, you can even add me to facebook if that sort of thing tickles your fancy.

Just take things as they come, one step at a time, and even if you have to, send out an SOS to the others in this board who don't normally feel like they belong and set up an online group of friends to chat with. We don't bite.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Thank you all for the nice responses, I do want to clarify though that it's not necessarily because I feel ostracized or anything. I just feel a bit unable to relate here. Now it's worth noting that I'm just not good at having text based conversations, I'm much better at actually connecting in person. That being said, maybe Beverly is right. Maybe I just don't put in that effort and ask engaging questions enough to MAKE that space for myself. You are so kind I feel a little less alone, but don't worry. No one is picking on me

Nice to know we haven't "driven" you away.

I think I identify closer to your viewpoint than many of the others, but nowhere near exactly. I find many of the threads on here somewhat...troubling? at times? I defend anyone’s right to be whatever they want, to behave however they want, if it doesn't cause harm to others, and to a certain point, without causing offence. Posts like the ones where someone talks about being attracted to males when "en femme" for instance. it bothers me because I feel people browsing here randomly might think all CDers are that way, and maybe because I wonder if I will feel that way? Sometimes it's very hard to analyse ones feelings and motivations, we all tend to suppress stuff we think others might not approve of, or things that our upbringing has made US disapproving off.

For myself, I like the feel of the fabrics, I like the look of how some items look on my body, I get a kick out the "forbidden" aspect, a thrill out of the idea of going outside wearing the clothes. I have a desire to be seen as sexy and desirable, in a physical, body displaying way, and it isn't generally thought of as a male aspect. Showing your body off, and trying to be seen as sexy, is tied up with the idea that we're "asking for it" Which opens up a whole other can of worms. Men who display that way are seen as inviting comment, and I admit, I’d take compliments from another man, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with someone who finds me attractive, male or female.

This "need" when considered with the rejection by current society of it being a male, or masculine aspect, is, I think, behind some CDers need to pass. As a woman "I can do this" whereas I can't do it as a male. I'm sure that some feel like this, just as I'm sure many have some other drives that no-one has figured out yet.

Anyway, like you, I think that most of the posts here don't apply to me, and I actively dislike some posts. But I do feel that reading some of them have helped me define what I'm not, which can be hard, but better for one in the long run.

"Know yourself"

[Wildaboutheels]

It's pretty ridiculous if one pauses to think about it. To insist that ALL CDers should dress and "present" and act in a certain way is to imply that ALL females should do the same. And if THEY don't? THEY are also dong it "wrong"?

[~Joanne~]

I think there is a place for him here hon. Yes, a lot of girls don't go "the whole nine yards" but there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Passing certainly is at the fore front of this site, and while we try the best we can, for a lot of us, we will never pass but that doesn't mean that we don't have a place here even if other don't feel the same way. You sort through all the BS posts here and You'll still find a whole wealth of useful information that can be helpful. Of coarse though you really have to search them out.

Miss you bunches, Hugs

[RebeccaLynne]

It's pretty ridiculous if one pauses to think about it. To insist that ALL CDers should dress and "present" and act in a certain way is to imply that ALL females should do the same. And if THEY don't? THEY are also dong it "wrong"?

Wild, I think that crossdressers are as varied as snowflakes: no two are identical in every thought or action, yet we all share a common interest; we enjoy wearing clothes normally worn by the opposite sex.

I've read every post in this thread over the past couple of days. I've previously posted in it. I don't recall anyone advocating, or even implying, that "ALL CDers" should be restricted to a particular image, nor there being any connection to natal females in that regard.

Maybe I missed it, or overlooked it... could you clarify?

[MysticLady]

Hi greenish I dress at home almost full time no makeup no wig usually just forms bra and comfortable girl clothes there are a lot of like that.

....It's Greenie, silly. I just found this funny. You're sweet Toniloraine.

Now it's worth noting that I'm just not good at having text based conversations, I'm much better at actually connecting in person.

Welcome to the Club, Luca. Just take things at your own pace. Don't post just because you feel you have too.

Wow! Thanks all for posting. I knew that more people like luca existed. I guess its just nice to post and ask about it.

Hi Greenie, like everyone says, I appreciate your involvement on this Forum. Insights from a GG's perspective are very interesting to me. BTW....I hope you don't mind or take offense, but your stage name reminds me of a song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgnOJXIvu6s

[Druscilla Supernovae]

He's not alone. I like wearing womens black clothes around the house but I don't plan on becoming a woman. I'm the only one who knows about my likes for womens clothing and I don't wear it out of the house unless there is some sought of costume party. I love wearing my skirts, boots, tutus, black tops, rubberwear, and wigs. But my main passion is pvc wear. I have an extensive collection of womens shiny pvc raincoats and very unique shiny womens boots. I just discovered shiny pvc ladies bloomers and my god are they comfy. I will sleep in a couple of my raincoats because pvc feels so good next to my skin. Hell, right now I'm laying on my swimming pool air mattress with the shiny side up and it is completely stuck to me. My dream is to one day find a woman who is into pvc and understands my liking for womens clothing and boots.

[MysticLady]

My dream is to one day find a woman who is into pvc and understands my liking for womens clothing and boots.

Hello Panamino and welcome to the forum. You may consider looking for a woman that's a plumber. The fact that some folks have a desire for plastic is interesting too me. Too each their own.

[Joanne f]

Hello Greenie,
how are you today, I can well understand how your boyfriend feels about this as unless that you feel like you are part of one of the little groups on here it feels like a lonely place and pointless on being on here but I can assure him that there are quite a few just like him but are inclined to be less verbal about things because of the way some say how you should be doing it can make you feel like you are letting the side down .
I differ from most if not all on here in that I think it is the ones that go out dressed like your boyfriend ( as a male in female clothes) that will eventually make it acceptable for all to wear what they like without trying to pass as a female for the simple reason the the general public are seeing what they are getting and until they learn how to trust them then they will start to trust all , so tell him not to feel alone but to feel proud of doing it his way and believe in that it is his kind that will help to make it more acceptable for all ( in my opinion) .
Have a nice day
JF

[GeorgeA]

Hi Greenie & Luca,
I have been unable to post a reply when this topic was current. I'm just trying to review all posts for the last couple of months and came upon this, very interesting topic.
I've been a crossdresser longer than many of the posters here been alive. When I first came to this forum I was ecstatic that I found others that share my passion for crossdressing. Soon however, I discovered that I'm in a minority, as most posters talked about being a woman or at least looking like one.
I don't want to do either. I'm just s "guy in a skirt" who dresses for his own satisfaction. I'm not interested in wigs, jewellery, make-up and such, so I skip those topic that do not interest me. Yet, in spite of being different than many posters here I find that I do belong here and feel among friends. We all have different reasons for crossdressing but have one important underlying unifying force. We all do it.
I have already commented about this in several of my previous posts. I don't want to repeat what I have said there, but if you want I could send you a PM (private message) with my views and comments.

[jenni_xx]

Greenie, this place is as diverse a place as they come. It's all well and good looking through posts, trying to find a connection, but the best thing for your SO to do is to create his own post and make a judgement based on the replies.

There is no right or wrong way to CD. Anyone who says otherwise (which I suspect is no one), is wrong. Nothing is scaring the forum lurkers away other than themselves. The only reason they don't post is because they either do not want to, or don't feel confident enough to do so. Only themselves can change that.

[Steph_CD_62]

When I joined this site a couple days ago I didn't know if I would "fit" in with everyone else. It seems that most here go out in public and fully dress as a woman most of the time.
I do not go out in public, and I can't ever see myself trying to pass as a woman.
I do not wear make up or a wig.

But I have been welcomed with open arms by everyone.
I am glad I joined this site.

[Chickhe]

The way I look at it...crossdressing is an activity. Many people do it. Some people do it becaue they want to be woman, most people do it...because....umm...to tell the truth....they just don't know. Others do it because they feel relaxed, because they just like the clothes, other because they like the challenge of being totally passable, it goes on and on.... and everyone started someplace, so having crappy makeup or style is normal at first. At first I never really felt like I fit in, I still don't... I think it is because there is such a diverse range of people who do it. You will find a few who you click with and the others...you just learn to respect them.

[PaulaQ]

It seems that most here go out in public and fully dress as a woman most of the time.

Not true - it's a relative minority that do all that stuff, in my opinion. The photos can (not unreasonably) lead you to think someone's that way all the time. Most aren't, best I can tell.

Oh, and welcome.

[Brenda Freeman]

Hi Greenie,
For years I was only interested in wearing womens lingerie and clothes when I could, loved the look and feel. When I turned 50 I suddenly devloped the need, to buy a wig and try make up and dress up completely. I have no idea why but it was sudden and I even had anxiety attacks thinking about it. Midlife crisis I guess. By the way I did not know about this forum then. I do know we are all on different journeys many started where Luca is and may be perfectly happy there I was for a very long time and I still drift from high need to low need regarding my CD life. What a wacky world! What I do like about this forum is the number of people and in particular the number of people like yourself who support their loved ones. I find that so wonderful to know, I had no idea before I joined this forum I just felt so alone before! I think maybe the most active contributers are maybe at the high level of CDing and contribute to provide support as they have been their. I hope Luca continues to particiapte I have learned alot, have had some laughs and when it seems to get a little bitchy I think it is the strong passion of those who want to try to help. I take from it what helps me, and try to give back when I can. I am guessing for all those that actively contribute there are thousands reading and figuring things out. It took me a while before writing my first post or comment.
Brenda