Hello everyone.
I have been mostly a forum lurker the last couple of weeks. Posting here are there when I get a chance. I got a second job so I am a busy bee.
I wanted to start a dialogue (not a war!) about something that is concerning me a bit and hope I can get some feedback from you guys.
As most of you know, I joined the site when I discovered my BF of 6 years was a CD. I got a ton of support from you guys and really enjoyed the insight I received. I would go to Luca and say "you really need to join" everyone is so helpful.
So finally after a month or so of poking and prodding and telling him to join. He did. He saw how much great stuff I was getting here and then in turn bringing back to our relationship.
He joined and to no fault of anyone in particular didn't feel like this place was helping him.
In the first week he joined he saw a post about how CDers who didn't wear wigs or makeup didn't "try" hard enough to be feminine. I kept telling him that people didn't judge here and he would find a place. This sentiment was repeated in numerous ways throughout all parts of the forum.
He didn't feel "feminine" enough to be here. He likes to wear a skirt and a blouse sans makeup and walk around the house. He read thread after thread about shoes, and boobs and hair and makeup and try as he might, he still felt outside it all.
I guess what I want to know... Is there a place for him here? I feel like there are more of you that are like him than he thinks. And if you are more like him, do you feel like there is not a place for you either. Such an emphasis is placed on "pass- ability" and like it or not some "girls" judge others on here for not being like them. Or not being feminine enough.
He got the feeling that most of the men here actually want to BE women, while he just likes the clothes and the feelings. But I KNOW he is not alone.
So I guess this is both a place to respond, but also a place for you to hear another members plea. Lets stop creating a place where there is a "right and wrong" way to CD. Lets stop scaring away all of those forum lurkers who don't feel like they belong.
(mods: not sure where to post this. Hope this is okay. move it as you see fit please. )