A question for everyone here that is "Attached"

[Sabrina133]

I can relate Madeline, same situation exists here.

[Wildaboutheels]

Thanks for the replies ladies. I think it's great, especially for the Newbies to see, that there are all types of arrangements that can be made to work. As long as one has a partner that accepts.

[Eryn]

I think that the most important thing is communication. Nobody really likes surprises when TG activities are involved. If you want to make a change or do something talk with your partner and then listen to what your partner has to say.

[kimdl93]

I don't have rules. We regard each other as adults. That being said, I understand that my wife is uncomfortable with the idea of going out with me. So, I exercise that prerogative on my own.

[Leona]

I have no rules or concessions per se but I do keep my wife in mind because she needs her hubby time too.

This is what I do, too. But my wife asks me to dress often enough that I don't have to worry about it a lot anymore.

Also, while there are no rules when we're together, going out in public is significantly informed by her feelings. As a result, going out 100% en femme isn't on the table yet, but that's fine because it's not on the table for me, either. Otherwise, without makeup or forms, she doesn't really care what I wear out in public either.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

No rules really, only the guidelines of mutual respect, nurture each other, and always be truthful. This has worked for us for almost 12 years now

[jillleanne]

Attached as in living together in the same house with Your SO partner. And it will be great if all you GGs jump in also.

As many here consider Rules to be a dirty word, let's go with Arrangements. Or Compromises or Concessions. Or how about Agreements?

Is it a safe bets that most of the GGs have at least a few things that they don't want to see their partner in/wearing/using? -

How about agreements about going out in public? For instance where, when and wearing what? -

For those of you in a DADT, how many of you have carte blanche when home alone or out in public?

Is living with these "Concessions" better than the alternative?

-



Yes, a hairy body.
Yes, extremely short mini skirts.
N/A
What alternative? I agree with her totally. The only concessions we have are who owns what? I alway seem to lose the , 'that's my top' conversation so I make concessions and tell her, it's hers. Not to worry though 'cause I get to wear whatever she buys anyway, and vice versa.

[Missy]

when my wife fond out before our marriage she told me do not wear her clothing of any kind. later she told me not to shave any of my chest hair

[gender_blender]

Don't assume all GGs are the same. I've been in relationships with conservative women who don't what to see it outside the bedroom and super liberal bi women who love to see it all the time and use feminine pronouns always. I've met most of my girlfriends as presenting myself as female and currently dating a wonderful liberal woman my age who always refers to me as "she".

Rules/compromises that stifle your self-expression are terrible things that will only end badly; honesty and openness in all situations are the only good policies.

[Briana90802]

My wife and I don't have rules, but we do have mutual respect for each other. To impose rules is like saying you're beneath me like a child, don't you think? We are adults and we have guidelines that are followed but they're more or less standards that I hold myself to. My SO has her own set of standards that she set for herself, and like anyone those things can me amended if needed or warranted.

[MysticLady]

In all reality she has pushed me beyond my boundaries and stretched my comfort level significantly. I doubt I ever would have played with make up, wigs or breasts.

Hi Rita, she sees how happy you are and she wants that happiness to make her happy. You know the saying......."if daddy is happy, mommy will be even happier"

Thanks for the replies ladies. I think it's great, especially for the Newbies to see, that there are all types of arrangements that can be made to work. As long as one has a partner that accepts.

Or is not Dense.

-
What alternative? I agree with her totally. The only concessions we have are who owns what? I alway seem to lose the , 'that's my top' conversation so I make concessions and tell her, it's hers. Not to worry though 'cause I get to wear whatever she buys anyway, and vice versa.

That is so cool. Relationships like yours, I truly wish I had. I'm so happy for you.

[Aylineira]

At first with my wife, it was all very slow steps. It was all just underdressing pantyhose and panties and then later dresses and heels. The process took a while but now she tells me about the sale on dresses at stores

[Allison2006]

Is it a safe bets that most of the GGs have at least a few things that they don't want to see their partner in/wearing/using?

How about agreements about going out in public? For instance where, when and wearing what?

For those of you in a DADT, how many of you have carte blanche when home alone or out in public?

Is living with these "Concessions" better than the alternative?[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Wildaboutheels;3244553]Attached as in living together in the same house with Your SO

Is it a safe bets that most of the GGs have at least a few things that they don't want to see their partner in/wearing/using?
My wife has said she'd rather I didn't wear perfume, not that I couldn't. Other than that, no restrictions on what I wear.

How about agreements about going out in public? For instance where, when and wearing what?
She has said she wouldn't mind my going to support group meetings in public places, fully dressed. The reason I haven't is mine, not hers.

[Stephanie47]

For those of you in a DADT, how many of you have carte blanche when home alone or out in public?

[/QUOTE]

I'm in a DADT marriage of forty plus years. When I first dappled with lingerie with my wife early on in our marriage, it was a mutual activity. It was limited to "bedroom" play with stockings and nightgowns. When our first child was born she asked that I not sleep in a nightie. OK, I was fine with that. Years later my interest in women's attire began to flourish. When my wife found a red bra (actually our second child pulled it out of my box of lingerie) she could not understand why a guy would wear a bra when it is obvious he has no boobs. We struggled with my cross dressing for a while because she felt it had something to do with her, as in not being woman enough, etc. Don't ask, I cannot figure it out.

So, what happens in a DADT? Basically, if you know your wife, then the boundaries become unstated or implied. I know she would not want anyone to find out about it. I am assuming she would not want me to go out en femme, although I have when she has been out of town. It was for evening strolls. I have had the opportunity of going 24/7 for 7-10 days when she went to visit our daughter in the mid-west. Daughter is local now, so that's not going to happen again, soon.

So, my en femme time is when she is at work. As a retiree I get seven hours Monday through Friday when school is in session. I'm bound to the house and backyard, which is OK with me. I have no desire to go out into the world. Mainly because I will never pass as a woman. That translates for me at least in not putting myself as well as her in an awkward situation with family, friends and neighbors.

[suchacutie]

We just celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary. As with all things in our marriage, Tina is a "project" of both of us. It was probably a bit easier for us in some ways since we started this "project" by accident 8 years ago, so there was never a time that Tina was on her own before our spousal relationship started.

Thus, there aren't any "rules", just as there aren't any rules for any other part of our relationship. What is there? It's mutual trust and understanding that we want to make the best life for each other. The mutual considerations of each other's feelings lead to our actions. Ok, that means we spent (and still spend) a lot of time talking about our friend Tina, but we talk about everything else as well, so it just fits into the rest of life.

So, I guess our only agreement is that we agree to uphold mutual respect and try to make the best life we can for each other, and that includes the issue of Tina along with every other issue.

[Princess Grandpa]

We just celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary.

Mazel Tov! That's an amazing thing today. Good for you two.

Hug
Rita

[Cheryl T]

In our house the main rule is No hormones and No implants.
Other than that we go out together all the time and other than a comment on what each other is wearing we never restrict each other.

[Bea A]

Our agreement has adapted over time (5 years). Currently, panties are 24/7; Everything else is OK in the house. Girls jeans and "not so obvious" shoes/boots/tops outside home. Nothing in the bed besides nightgown and NEVER while intimate. Fully shaved. We are progressing to "full time" at home inside. Oldest son knows, other 3 sons (including FTM son) - not told. No dressing in front of non-family.

[MysticLady]

Oldest son knows, other 3 sons (including FTM son) - not told.

This is very interesting too me. Why have you not shared this w/ the son that is FtM.
Do you think that this part of you and how you have embraced it may, help him w/ his struggles. I'm sure he has many. Knowing that my Dad is a CD, would do wonders for my self esteem. This my thought on the matter.

[JenniferR771]

Plenty of rules. I just follow orders. Wife does not want friends, relatives and neighbors to know. I told adult daughters against her wishes. I can dress around the house once a week when she is gone or when she is out of town.

[CD_blue]

There is no rules with my SO in terms of my dressing. Basically I have free reign to dress anyway I want which also includes out in public. When relationship started we agreed if something came up she wasn't comfortable with she would let me know. Nothing did

Also she has been out in public with me. She went to a cd/tg meeting with me once actually in meeting matching outfits so I think I lucked out heh.

[ChristineKnox]

Hello all I am a GG with a SO who is a CD. Unfortunately we live with another roommate (my younger brother) so I feel guilty that my SO cannot fully be himself while in the privacy of our home. I love my brother dearly but I do look forward to a time when we can live alone as a couple. When that time comes I don't see why he cannot dress however he wants to while at home. I want to see him happy and comfortable. You won't find me vacuuming in heels but he will be more than welcome too hahahaha

[Bea A]

This is very interesting too me. Why have you not shared this w/ the son that is FtM.
Do you think that this part of you and how you have embraced it may, help him w/ his struggles. I'm sure he has many. Knowing that my Dad is a CD, would do wonders for my self esteem. This my thought on the matter.

Got it wrong though - its the 2nd son, oldest is FTM son. "Fear of the unknown" I guess is keeping me from talking. He has fully transitioned FTM. (name change, legal documents, top surgery). My wife told the other son. No reaction from him other than "Its your life - I won't judge you"

[MysticLady]

"Fear of the unknown" I guess is keeping me from talking.

I know the feeling all too well. Thank You for responding.

[AmyGaleRT]

Sabrina is relatively free with letting me be Amy at home and going out. She would probably clamp down on me if I was wearing anything too provocative, but that's not my style. She won't let me wear my nightgowns to bed, though she has no objection to me wearing them around the house to relax in, much as she would. If I go out and stay out too long I'm liable to start getting texts and/or calls asking "Where are you?" She also has vetoed me posting a few pictures online because they looked "too provocative," in her view.

She always wants to see Amy after my transformation is complete. Generally, she approves.

She has noticed that, immediately after I came out to her, I was being Amy quite often, but now it's tapered back a fair bit. Perhaps this is just because I'm feeling more secure that I can be Amy whenever I wish.

- Amy