Does freely exploring your female side eventually lead to transitioning?

[Princess Grandpa]

I'm having a grat time letting Rita out to play. I would be lying if I said I wasn't apprehensive about the future. You hear a lot about "I started just crossdressing and then..." Is it likely the more I empower my femme side the stronger she becomes until eventually instead of writing how much fun im having, suddenly my posts run something like "I told her I need to transition"?

If there are longtime dressers out there who were free to dress and explore as they wished, who still have no desire to become a woman, I would be encouraged to hear from you.

Hug
Rita

[carhill2mn]

Just because you are "exploring your female side" does not mean that you will evolve into needing or wanting to transition. I have been "dressing" for at least 65 years and have no need or intention to transition. Since I now live alone I do present as a woman much of the time. I revert to my male self when in contact with family and old friends.

[Eryn]

No. I know people who have been "exploring their female side" for 50 years who are quite satisfied with CDing.

In fact, It may be that repressing a person's female side might lead them to long for transition in a "grass is greener on the other side" way. This sometimes leads to very poor decisions, broken marriages, and regret.

I've been given the opportunity to sample the grass over there and I know that it isn't paradise. Despite the challenges, I'll continue to live on both sides of the fence.

[Sabrina133]

Some say that the difference between a CD and a TS is 2 years. I don't buy that. Although i was on hormones for about a year and classified as TS by the VA, i have no intention of transitioning.

[Jillian Faith]

I've dressing off and on for 50+ years been out in public the last 3-4 years. I love to dress, shop and explore my feminine side, I'm not full time and have absolutely no intention to ever transition

[Princess Grandpa]

Than you ladies. That is most encouraging. As much as I'm enjoying letting Rita loose if you will, that is a path I do not wish to travel for a multitude of reasons.

Hug
Rita

[Wildaboutheels]

[Does 50+ years qualify as "longtime"?] My CDing has basically remained the same for 50+ years...

So I have this silly idea that I know what I am doing...

How foolish of me.

Clearly... I am lying, delusional or both when I say I have no fear of ever succumbing to the "dreaded" Pink fog, have NEVER felt guilty or ashamed in any way, shape or form and don't ever toss and turn at night, endlessly worrying, that someday I may want to transition. Nor have I EVER worn a dress OR makeup. [unless you want to count lipstick for Halloween]

IF one pays attention to the various #s that this site provides, it's pretty hard not to see that there are most likely plenty of others rowing similar boats. The fact that they choose to remain flies on the wall is easily accounted for IMO.

[Julie York]

Good thread.
My experience is like this..in a metaphorical way.
You spend your youth being told you can't have chocolate.
You steal chocolate and hope no-one finds out and feel guilty.
Then one day you decide to eat it anyway and enjoy it.
Then someone says, "Here's a chocolate shop." and you act so starved you make a fool of yourself and make yourself sick. (pink fog)
And then you realise you can have chocolate any time you like.
And you don't like it THAT much now it isn't forbidden.
But it is nice now and then.

So no I have no need to become a chocolatier.
Some people can enjoy chocolate now and then.
It's just one of many treats.


(Please eat chocolate in a responsible manner.)

[Phoebe Reece]

Thanks to an understanding wife, I also have had lots of freedom to crossdress when I wanted to over the past 40+ years. Transition has no appeal to me at all.

[Laura912]

Just because one might ponder what it is like to be full time and transition, just not mean that one will do just that. I have had times of daydreaming of being full time female but that is all it amounts to...just a wool gathering time alone with thoughts. Fortunately, after 60 years, the musing appears to be harmless.

[Kandy Barr]

Good question Rita, after years of being a crossdresser to varying degrees I now have the freedom to dress and live as Kandy as much as I dare. I live about 75% of the time en femme right now and the percentage of time seems to be increasing as my skills, wardrobe, and shape wear increase. I find myself wanting to start electrolysis,and with that I wonder if it is possible to begin hrt to develop my breast at my age. Can't believe I'm posting this as at this point I'm just at the " I wonder " stage. That being said I have no idea where all this will eventually lead, for now I'm happy being en femme most of the time. I've probably done more to confuse you rather than help, just keep in mind no two of us are exactly alike. Be blessed Rita and I do hope you find your answer, just enjoy today !!!

[Princess Grandpa]

Good thread.
My experience is like this..in a metaphorical way.
You spend your youth being told you can't have chocolate.
You steal chocolate and hope no-one finds out and feel guilty.
Then one day you decide to eat it anyway and enjoy it.
Then someone says, "Here's a chocolate shop." and you act so starved you make a fool of yourself and make yourself sick. (pink fog)
And then you realise you can have chocolate any time you like.
And you don't like it THAT much now it isn't forbidden.
But it is nice now and then.

So no I have no need to become a chocolatier.
Some people can enjoy chocolate now and then.
It's just one of many treats.


(Please eat chocolate in a responsible manner.)

This was great thank you! I do love chocolate! Maybe if I didn't like it so much I could get out of the big girls dept. /giggle

It appreciate all the responses. I'm quite pleased to hear how many are content at the level they are at. Certainly my mileage may vary but it's good to know its not always a one way street. I will continue to enjoy gorging myself on chocolates for awhile, and when the fog dissipates we will see what type of balance we achieve.

Hug
Rita

[Tina B.]

Rita, I've been dressing for 66 years now, hate having to admit it's been that long, I'm getting old. I told my wife who I was, really, 37 years ago
She gave me her blessing to figure it out, including testing the waters to see if I might be gay (every body always connects the two at first) She felt I needed to find out about HRS, surgery the whole thing, and then make up my mind, if she fit the picture or if I needed an exit strategy. She is a very understanding women, and very self sufficient. Well after all the reading, joining forums, even went to the MMC church where you could go dressed, and meet others.
now after 37 years, I know with out a doubt what I am.
I am a 69 year old, closet cross dresser, that was never comfortable in public, has way to many clothes for a home body, that can and does dress at home any time in any thing my heart desires, play with make up as long as I want. I retired a few years ago, and I dress a lot more than back in my working days, would love to go to a TG gathering such as Southern Comfort, or more likely Diva Las Vegas, and beyond that still have no desire to leave the closet, I just have so many pretty things in here.
So years ago, I stopped worrying, about my man card, my membership in the dads club, or my spot as grandpa, and just enjoy my time as Tina, which pretty much takes care of the rest of the stress in my life.
If you not a TS, you should be safe, and if you where, at your age you would think you would already know, the feeling should have told you a long time ago.
Sorry about the age thing, but it's implied in your handle, Princess.

[kimdl93]

Well, I think that answers the question. Just remember that CDing doesn't cause one to think or feel differently. For some people, the experience might help expose some deeply repressed desire, but as those responses above demonstrate, there is no slippery slope.

[Seana Summer]

, just keep in mind no two of us are exactly alike. Be blessed Rita and I do hope you find your answer, just enjoy today !!!

Rita, I think Kandy said it well. I have Crossdressed to some degree for much of my life. I have had various fantasies from time to time about being a girl or a women but when it comes right down to it have had no real desire to alter my body in a permanent way, but that's me. I am sure over time you will find the answer that is right for you. I am very happy with where I am thanks in part to everyone here. Its great to have someone to talk to who understands this stuff. Seana

[Rachelakld]

OK so I'm almost free to dress (wife and kids have seen me dressed many times - see photos on my blog)

My gay male friend tried to help me, and while he look good naked (we both had abs in those days), I decided I didn't want to play because he didn't have the parts that I'm interested in. For me that was a strong message that I had the correct body.
When I'm 65 or 70 I will be looking at hormones, but to muscle up and become an old super stud, heck I might even get a tattoo

[Tracii G]

I'm not of the school if you do one thing that it will lead to other things.
Cding will not make you eventually transition.

[Badtranny]

The jump from 'exploring your fem side' to telling the world you're really a woman and living accordingly, is so huge that you'll be ale to answer your own question if you think about it for a minute.

Based on what I've read of your posts, I suspect you would find a TS life exceedingly boring anyway. Except for the parts that are terrifying.

[Stephanie47]

I'm celebrating my 66th birthday very soon. I've been cross dressing since my teen years. Before that I tried on my mother's slips which she always hung in the bathroom to dry. I loved the feel of nylon. I have had absolutely ZERO inclination to become a woman. There's nothing wrong with being a woman. If I were born a woman that would be OK. Right now I've just bought dress #100. I love being en femme when I feel the urge. There's nothing really holding me back.

I've seen a lot of "bunk" on this site to suggest to young cross dressers that transitioning is the natural progression. It's not. If you're a recreational cross dresser there may be an increasing urge to fine tune the emulating of a female. Hence, better makeup, better clothing, perfection of mannerisms, etc.

I always encourage moderation with anything. And, taking into consideration loved ones around you.

[Princess Grandpa]

Actually Melissa, other than playing with the clothes, I find it all terrifying. Then again I suppose I would have been terrified of cross dressing too. Oh wait I was. I was so deep in denial I didn't realize I was a crossdresser even as my wife is looking for panties that would fit me. I believe based on what little I think I have learned, that where I am right at the moment is exactly where I want to be. I have to think that if I needed more than this I would some how know. Then again all I have to do is read the first couple of sentences in this paragraph to dissuade me of that.

*whisper* considering how highly I value self awareness, I don't really know myself as well as I once thought I did.

Hug
Rita

[4mymichelle]

Rita,

If that was the case I would have already transitioned long ago. Just because we enjoy our feminine side and crossdress does not imply that we want to become a woman full time. Of course there are some that do feel they need to follow that path. The beauty of this is that each of us is different and can decide for ourselves as to how far or how little we want to go. We all have fears as human beings about what the future will bring. I still haven't met anyone with the gift to predict it. So what we need to do is be happy and enjoy the moment without worrying about what may never occur.

Hugs,
Michelle

[Jenniferathome]

... You hear a lot about "I started just crossdressing and then..."

Rita, I would argue the "a lot" portion of your assumption. People don't transition because of cross dressing. Trans people, may cross dress and then transition but one does not lead to the other.

[Princess Grandpa]

Ty Michelle. It is good to know that the one doesn't necessarily lead to another. /blush when we meet, of course one has no idea where another might be on the spectrum. I just make no assumptions.

Jennifer I'm sure you're right. Perhaps a lot is not accurate. I'm very new to this and a bit anxious as well as excited. I have perused numerous threads like that. I see far fewer, until this thread saying "I have done this all this time and I still identify male. They may be out there but I haven't seen them.



Hug
Rita

[Rogina B]

I have said it before and will again...you are a long time GFer..And that's great..It comes under the "Q" in LGBTQ...Grandpa doesn't have clue about all these terms,so perhaps you can clue her in to what your fetish really is...

[Does 50+ years qualify as "longtime"?] My CDing has basically remained the same for 50+ years...

So I have this silly idea that I know what I am doing...

How foolish of me.

Clearly... I am lying, delusional or both when I say I have no fear of ever succumbing to the "dreaded" Pink fog, have NEVER felt guilty or ashamed in any way, shape or form and don't ever toss and turn at night, endlessly worrying, that someday I may want to transition. Nor have I EVER worn a dress OR makeup. [unless you want to count lipstick for Halloween]

IF one pays attention to the various #s that this site provides, it's pretty hard not to see that there are most likely plenty of others rowing similar boats. The fact that they choose to remain flies on the wall is easily accounted for IMO.

[NathalieX66]

There's a joke in the transgender community, it goes like this:
Question: What's the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual?
Answer: Two years.

I always took that joke in two ways. One, the actual time it takes to transition form male to female (hormones, sugeries, blah blah blah, etc.)
Two, latent crossdressers that start out as open crossdressers, then about two years later, they make up their minds and say they want to transition.

I have already been through the mental battle of whether to transition/not transition about a million times, and the conclusion is always the same. I just simply have two sides of me, and I'm happy with that. Having one side of me, or the other side of me all the time would simply be the death of me.

I am what I've always wanted to be since I was a little kid.