Where Do You Fit In? Find Out NOW!

[Darlena]

Greetings Ladies! I was researching today(as I'm prone to do) and found a site that might interest all of you.(it can be quite revealing) Tickle your Google to transgendercare.com...scroll down to "What Is Gender?" by Dr. Bushong. This a person who is in a position to know and has the credentials.(confirms what I've felt true of myself) Love & kisses,

[Kim E]

Darlena ~
Yes, it is a very good resource. I've had it in my favorites for some time.

BTW ~ From the home page click on Medical/Hormonal at top left, then click on Library, and then scroll down and click on Herbal Hormones. Interesting perspective from this doctor on herbals.

Kim

[Kate]

I found this last bit especially interesting:

But, an individual's sense of happiness and success is directly parallel with the degree they have dismantled their male identity, not on their age, physical size, hormones, surgery, etc.

From where I am at the moment that seems like a rather rosy picture; I don't know what I would do if I felt I had no chance of successfully passing and being accepted.

Regardless, it a very interesting and insightful essay!

Kate.

[seekertree]

Kate,

Looking at you avatar I think you could pass, especially after a 1-3 years on hormones.

Julie

[Kate]

Looking at you avatar I think you could pass, especially after a 1-3 years on hormones.

Thanks, but who wants to wait 1-3 years for hormones! I've already wasted 20 years of my life and dno't intend to waste anymore.

Also, my old avatar was a professional job and rather makeup-heavy. My new avatar is the "real me" - not quite so passable

Anyway, Seeing Dr. O in 8 weeks, and I'll be going fulltime from then regardless - a few "tweaks" and I should be able to pass just fine

Kate.

[cyle_elise]

Thanks, but who wants to wait 1-3 years for hormones! I've already wasted 20 years of my life and dno't intend to waste anymore.

Also, my old avatar was a professional job and rather makeup-heavy. My new avatar is the "real me" - not quite so passable

Anyway, Seeing Dr. O in 8 weeks, and I'll be going fulltime from then regardless - a few "tweaks" and I should be able to pass just fine

Kate.

frankly this one looks more natural.

[Helana]

Yes a very good article and I agree with pretty much all of it. One good paragraph I liked was

Once created, physically male gender folk live in their male role — a 3-D personality with its own goals, likes and dislikes, values, hobbies, etc. Although indistinguishable from the "real thing," it isn't themselves. It is an artificial creation for them to be able to fit in. This is achieved at the expense of denying, locking away, their natural female self. (See Brain Gender and Brain Sex.) Their desire to be "normal" has denied them their natural selves. But, as the nagging reality of the deception becomes harder and harder to suppress, one has to express their true gender somehow, in some way.

This is particularly important for our SOs to understand. GGs naturally assume that our female personas are the artificial constructs, just a bit of escapist fun. So they believe that asking us to stay in our masculine role for most of the time is OK because that is our true selves. Actually it is the other way around. I dont think even the GGs on this forum understand the full ramifications of this. By staying 99% in our male roles, we are the ones who are self-sacrificing our happiness every minute of the day. We are so used to doing it that we no longer think about how depressing it really is.

GGs often complain that once "out", we become over indulgent because we want to dress regularly not just occassionally. If they comprehended that our femme selves are our true selves and our male selves are only a clever caricature then they would not view our desire to crossdress as an indulgence at all. That does not make us any easier to live with though!

[seekertree]

Helena,

Outstanding answer, many Girls will use that one I think
Julie

[KatieKaboodle]

Part of the process I personally went through was dresses. Little black dresses. I tried to exaggerate my appearance while initially on hormones (some 5 years ago), and pretty much came off as some sort of drag queen, voice notwithstanding (my voice was pretty good after 6 months of practice).

That first years was... *shudder* I look back at it now as trying to prove a point, but when things are early, you do stuff like that.

Nowadays, I refuse to wear dresses unless it's a formal occasion. I stick to T-shirt and jeans most times, and appropriate business-casualwear for my job.

* * *

One thing that had urked me was something that happened 3 years ago. There was this non-hormone, non-surgery F2M who went by Naomi (?) and was the S.O. of one of the other F2M's who attended a support group I was involved in some years ago.

We had a barbeque-type thing at someone's house, and Naomi responded to my claims of being a lesbian with a comment that M2F's all seem to be obsessed with anything female. To some degree, that's true, and I said as much to him. But it's not a fetish, I tried to explain, it's more of finding a sense of all the different types of women that are out there and finding your own spot.

"Well, I still think it's a bit obsessive," he said. Needless to say, that was part of the reason why I stopped socializing with the support group. (The bigger part of it was that I had my first lesbian-type relationship and was dealing with issues surrounding that.) But Naomi's comment has bugged me since then...

Now, I've been in this whole transition thing a while and have generally gotten an idea of what type of person that I am, inasmuch as the difference about how I'm seen by society. It is obviously not a fetish for me. Having said that, I keep track of my measurements out of curiosity and am somewhat known in the local lesbian community. No one doubts that I am who I say I am...

...yet there is that little imp in the back of my mind who likes to toss Naomi's comment into my consciousness every once in a while. I'm trying to quash the little fragger by building up self-esteem, but that little comment bugs the frick out of me.

So... *blinks several times* uuuuuh, there was a point to this story somewhere.

Katie

[ChristineRenee]

Yes a very good article and I agree with pretty much all of it. One good paragraph I liked was



This is particularly important for our SOs to understand. GGs naturally assume that our female personas are the artificial constructs, just a bit of escapist fun. So they believe that asking us to stay in our masculine role for most of the time is OK because that is our true selves. Actually it is the other way around. I dont think even the GGs on this forum understand the full ramifications of this. By staying 99% in our male roles, we are the ones who are self-sacrificing our happiness every minute of the day. We are so used to doing it that we no longer think about how depressing it really is.

GGs often complain that once "out", we become over indulgent because we want to dress regularly not just occassionally. If they comprehended that our femme selves are our true selves and our male selves are only a clever caricature then they would not view our desire to crossdress as an indulgence at all. That does not make us any easier to live with though!

It surely was an excellent post Helana...and should be required reading for all and especially our GG sisters everywhere. I think one of the most difficult things to get my wife to understand was that Chrissie is largely the person that I feel that I am, and not some fantasy girl that I created mentally for myself. She was convinced, in her mind, that the male side of me really was who I was and the female part was a creation...when in fact...it was almost the exact opposite. The male part of me...while very real...has been more of a "creation" for me than the real person I feel that I am inside. The more male I tried to be outwardly...while continuing to deny the female that was assuming a larger and greater role internally...the more I was really just creating a facade to adapt to societal expectations of what a "real" man should be. It took years...literally...for me to overcome this "conditioning" and to truly understand the real person that I am. If it is that difficult for us...you can just imagine what it is like for others and particularly our wives and SO's to really comprehend and come to terms with this.

Terrific insight and again...an excellent post!

[steph so 1999]

Helena.Your thought was the single most well constructed opinion on us/me
that I have have ever read.
It has come to that " I can't do the lie anymore" stage in my life too.
It is not easy and,is sometimes very lonely.
I might even share your thoughts with a coouple of my gg friends.
The artificial construct belief is what has kept me alone in my own inner
dialogue for years. Thank you so much for setting this thought down and,sharing it.
Love,Steph.

[Kimberly]

A piece that caught my eye:

Before I delve into what Brain Sex is, let me state what it is not -- it is not sexual orientation. While sexual orientation can be an attribute of Brain Sex, it is not a primary one. More on this later.

It is good that this is clearly showed - so why are so many people ignorant of this fact??