It's Hard Being a Woman ;)

[linda allen]

A while ago I bought a wig on-line. It was dark brown and long. Too long, I eventually decided. My wife said it looked "fake" so I stopped wearing it around her.

Then I bought another wig, again on-line, but from a different vendor. Slightly lighter in color and shorter. The color was more life-like because there were subtle streaks of lighter colors. I decided it was too short because it didn't cover down to my neckline in many blouses and without shaving my back, that was a dead givaway.

So, I just received my third wig and today is my first day wearing it. I think the length is just right, between the two, but I'm not sure about the color on me. Like the second, this one has streaks of color, not just a solid color, but I picked a "dirty blonde" this time. Since my hair was dark brown before it turned grey, I'm certainly not used to this color like I was to the others.

Anyway, and relating this post to the title, I thought I would post some photos asking for opinions on style and color, but I didn't bother getting really "made up" this morning. I shaved, but didn't bother with makeup, lipstick, girl glasses, etc. because I have other things to do around noon.

Well, the photos certainly show the difference a few minutes with makeup and preparation can make.

So - no photos for now, perhaps next week sometime. I just got back in town and have lots of things to do in "boy" mode.

BTW: My avatar (as of the date of this post) is the second wig I mentioned.)

[Kate Simmons]

Making up our minds seems to be the hardest part. The "Lovin' Spoonful" had that right.

[Tina B.]

I just got my fourth wig of the summer, hadn't had a new one in years, I know what you mean, I got a nice medium length in by natural color, when I had color, nice, but felt like my mother in the style, So I got a short red one, boy was it short, I feel like I could use it to pass as a toupee in drab.
Then I got a long curly one, way more hair than I've ever had, having a lot of fun with it in Blondie, That's it in the Avatar, Wife thought it looked natural, she said she couldn't tell it's a wig, loved that. Then I got a long wavy one in my natural color, it hasn't got to thick of hair, more like the average redhead in my family, I felt like Goldilocks finding baby bears hair, it was just right, I feel very natural, and it is very pretty, so now the others I'll play with for change, but that long red one is now my go to hair do's. Good thing I was getting so great bargains, when I started I was only gone to get one or two, but then they kept offering me great deals, and I still hadn't found that perfect one.

[Dana921]

As another option if it will work for you! Find a salon or place that will cut and style the wig to you personally. When I wore wigs, I did this and it worked out great! You may continue to get enjoyment out of the wigs you have but do not feel work best for you the way they are now.

[linda allen]

Not being "out", this really isn't an option for me but thanks for the suggestion. I'm sure the best results would be had by going in person to a real wig shop with my wife as my advisor. But, so far she has declined to do that.

[Madeline80]

I was happy with the 2 wigs I bought online but they were cheap and have gone downhill fast. For the next one I'm going to man up and just go to a wig shop and spend a little more money on something better. I'm sure they have seen CDers before and I want to try on some different colors and styles.

[Cheryl T]

Stop wasting your time and money and just go to a salon and ask for help. I did that after the buy/try/put aside forever routine with wigs got to be too much.
You'll get honest advice on color and cut and you can try on before you buy.

[Sami]

Not being "out", this really isn't an option for me but thanks for the suggestion. I'm sure the best results would be had by going in person to a real wig shop with my wife as my advisor. But, so far she has declined to do that.

Well i am not out to my partner but there are understanding wig specialists that will do this for you when i get mine trimmed I am in drab as i cant leave home all dolled up.

[Rebecca Watson]

In my opinion, wigs look fake regardless of how much they cost. They behave unnaturally, can shift around and prevent you doing girly stuff like tying your hair up. There's also constant paranoia that your wig has shifted into an undesirable position (I carry a makeup mirror for peace of mind). It's best to have your own hair, if possible.

The one in my avatar was $60+tax, and I went into the wig store and got the one that closest matched my natural hair colour. In some sense, it's part of who I am as a woman; part of my personality. It's not bad, but if one looks closely (particularly at the part), it still looks like a wig. It is much more convincing than the $10 Ebay wigs I bought beforehand, though, and has lasted a lot longer. A few decent brushes of the $10 Ebay wigs and you can see the cap; and I don't want to talk about what happened when I went out in the rain. The $10 Ebay wigs are a good starting point, though. Besides, most people aren't looking to see if you're wearing a wig.

- Becky

[linda allen]

No $10 ebay wigs for me. The first was from wigs.com, the second two from Paula Young.

The dirty blonde color is growing on me so I'll probably take some good photos next week.

[linda allen]

I suppose this got off track, but the real purpose of my post was the difficulty in looking like a female. A GG looks like a female when she rolls out of bed in the morning. She might need to clean up a bit, but she looks like a female. For the rest of us, it's a close shave with a blade razor, not a once over with the electric shaver, some sort of concealer to cover the remaining beard shadow, and then we still have male facial features so we have to use makeup to direct attention away from them. Also, I have to exchange my male eyeglasses for some female looking reading glasses that are not real close to my prescription.

So I didn't do all that and the photos with the new wig looked like a guy wearing a wig. Not that bad really, I don't have a real heavy beard shadow, but bad enough that I didn't want to take any more or put them out for people to see.

[Tina B.]

What part of "she's not out " do people have a hard time understanding. Linda I use the same source as you, if you don't take that tag off, you can send mistakes back they say, never have sent one back. I started out staying close to my natural color, helps me feel comfortable in it, and a medium length, so it's not to big a change, but this time around, I've been going for long wigs that you can do more styles with. Got a couple of long ones one curly, one just a little wavy. Found most times I prefer to wear them up, feels more natural to me.
Yes it is unfair that a women can get out of bed looking like a women, and we have to start out looking like a man and have to work hard to look otherwise. Darn DNA!

[Lorileah]

What part of "she's not out " do people have a hard time understanding.

Um pretty much all of it...but the advice was true. You don't have to be out and dress up to have the wig styled and every wig shop I know will keep your identity a secret. If you buy a wig off the net and don't do anything with it as far as trim and style it is a 100-1 shot it will look good on anyone. Spending 50-500$ for a wig you can't /won't wear is frivolous even if you only dress once a year. To get the wig styled...walk in the salon with it. Give it to the stylist (say it is for you) and they can either do it then or you can come back in a few days (as a guy...they don't care). I would stay and let them do it on me, but I know many here would freak out over that. Most salons even have a partitioned area where you could be and not be seen. Wigs out of the box never look good.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I'll echo what Lorileah said and add that we have to always remember that a salon is out to make money. I've seen many small competitors in my area who are always looking for business. Our money is just as green as anyone else's, and as any regular patron, privacy must be respected. My own stylist knows about me and has helped me pick out a really nice wig online. She nailed the best one for me for style, cut, and color!

Cheryl Ann

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Linda, No one ever said that being a lady was going to be easy.

[Beverley Sims]

I don't know Linda, you have progressed well over the time I have been reading your posts.
There are a lot of women out there that had their mind made up at birth.
They just have to wear it like we do.

Oh! it's so hard even trying to think about being a woman....

[docrobbysherry]

I figure Sherry needs at least 25 or 30 wigs. U know, so many looks, so little time!

Just to be sure, I think I have double that amount! I'm pretty hard on my wigs. That way, if I demo one, there's always a spare handy.

[kimdl93]

When I read the title I felt a Tammy Wynette song coming on....

[DanielleT]

I couldn't agree more! It is so hard for me to hide the woman that I am, to go to work in dockers and a polo shirt when what I really want to do is to wear a pretty dress, heels and hose. All of my co-workers know that I am a woman and have fully accepted me as such. After hours and on the weekend, I have met with many of them for drinks or lunch, me fully dressed. Now that gay/lesbian marriage is becoming more common, I really look forward to the day when I can walk out of my house, fully dressed as the woman I am, go to work fully dressed and live my life as a woman. Ladies, time to rise up here and demand our rights!

[linda allen]

When I read the title I felt a Tammy Wynette song coming on....

Indeed. Or Loretta Lynn.

So I took some photos and I've updated my avatar and profile photos. My wife asked me about my new wig so I got dressed (I was probably already dressed) and modeled it for her. Her comment - "Well at least we have your Halloween costume already."

Now that could be taken a few different ways. She didn't say anything negative like she did about the first wig. This might mean she's willing to go out with me on Halloween this year (hey, it's better than nothing). She might even like it.

Anyway, a couple days ago I was dressed including the new wig when she came home. No comments about it. We kissed and hugged as usual, then had a normal day for the rest of the day with me dressed as Linda.

Baby steps I know, but steps none the less.

[Princess Grandpa]

Baby steps argue good. Big ole man steps and people get scared. I like the look in your avatar.

Can synthetic wigs be cut and styled to suit? Or just natural hair wigs?

Hug
Rita

[linda allen]

I think they can be cut and styled but I'm no expert. The wig venor's websites might have information or you could talk to a hairdresser.

My hairdresser is part of my social circle so I can't go there.

[suchacutie]

Growing up as a girl gives GGs a number of years to work out a"look" which can then be tweaked over time, as my wife explained to me early on in tina's existence. Working out what works and doesn't has been a long road made much much easier by my loving wife.

[Stephanie47]

Not having read through all the responses, my suggestion is for you and your wife to go to a wig salon. You're spending too much time and money buying through the mail. Halloween is a great time to buy a wig in person. You can even go into the salon wearing your favorite makeup palate.

[jennyscott]

I'm sure they have seen CDers before and I want to try on some different colors and styles.

That's how I purchased my only wig to date. I'm very happy with it but certainly need to develop my hair-do skills.