In a real pickle

[Michelle James]

As some may know my SO and I purchased a mobile home in northern Michigan last fall. Kind of a vacation place, and for our future retirement. Prior to making the purchase we did some recon on the local businesses to see how well this overweight tranny would be accepted. In other word Michelle and her SO went up there on several occasions and were treated normally.


When it came time to actually buy the money pit (a future post I'm sure) they required background checks to sign the lease for the lot in the park. After a lot of thinking and even more discussion "we" decided it would be best to make the trip en male as to match my name and gender on my ID, which was required for the background check. Passed the background check, no prob.

As soon as we took possession we noticed several projects that needed completion, so I showed up every other weekend Sept. thru Nov. in male carpenter mode and set about fixing things up.

WE closed the place for the winter and returned memorial day weekend to open it back up and I went back as myself (Michelle). Here's where everything started off the rails.
nothing was said the first trip but two weeks later we went up and my SO was asked who is the other lady staying with you? When we are out together her standard answer is "my sister in law, my husband's twin sister". Never been an issue. Until now! The park manager is insisting on a background check with ID of course for Michelle.

Since that's not possible I figured the only thing to do is to "come clean". The problem is that the manager is kind of a redneck sort and has been heard to make remarks about gays and such using all the slurs available. (Something I would not have guessed the first couple of time I met him last fall (as Michelle).

I'm not sure what to do here. We are trying to sell the place but so far no takers. If I come out and get evicted (on some other trumped up claim) I can't afford to move the damn trailer. Nor can I afford a lawsuit to be able to stay especially since it would be all over the park and here come the torches and pitch forks.

We really just wanted a "change of venue were we could just be who we are.

What do I do now??

[boink]

My advice: put your trips as Michelle on hold, start looking for friendlier venues (where you may want to disclose up front), and save up some change for the moving of the trailer.

A cursory search would suggest that Michigan does not have a lot of discrimination/housing protections for "gender identity/expression" which means that even if you were evicted and did take up a case against this guy it would be an uphill battle.

[mikiSJ]

I would find out what Michigan's laws are on renting to LBGT identifiers and if you are protected, tell the manager to go eff off.

You submitted all required documents for the ID check. If the manager didn't want to dig further into your background, then his laziness cost him. Also, what does your lease say about quests. If your children, or friends, are invited to stay at your place, are they required to have a background check.

Stand your ground, girl. STAND YOUR GROUND!!!

[docrobbysherry]

Sorry u r having to go thu this, Michelle. And, I'm not familiar with Mich. laws. But, I agree with Miki. Find out who owns the Park. Then, approach the manager directly. Tell him if he does anything he's not allowed to do, u will contact the proper authorities AND the Park owners!

This will not protect u from him telling others in the Park about u, tho. So, u may not be able to enjoy your trailer. Moving trailers is usually NOT a practical financial solution. How r u marketing yours? This is probably the best time of year to sell it. Be sure u r making every effort to find a buyer. And, that your price and terms r attractive compared to other sellers.

[Tracii G]

I'm with Miki you have done your background check no need for another one.
See if Mich law has a provision on gender expression.

[Michelle James]

My advice: put your trips as Michelle on hold, start looking for friendlier venues (where you may want to disclose up front), and save up some change for the moving of the trailer.

A cursory search would suggest that Michigan does not have a lot of discrimination/housing protections for "gender identity/expression" which means that even if you were evicted and did take up a case against this guy it would be an uphill battle.

You may be right about that. I can't find any specific protections either. I am more worried about the villager with torches and pitchforks once they find out.

[karynspanties]

Why would he need to do a background check on someone "visiting"? I think he is overstepping his boundaries. I live in Michigan, there are alot of vacant pieces of property to put a mobile home on up north. Pretty cheap too. Maybe you should consider this option.

[Lorileah]

You pay your rent on time, you don't violate any of the published park rules, you mind your own business...and you contact the district attorney and the owner of the park relating your current status and explain that you are afraid that the manager will try and concoct a violation. Document everything he says. Managers for mobile home parks are not in small supply and his job isn't guaranteed. If he is the owner, do all the above until you can afford to move. Moving a mobile home and setting it up isn't difficult. (even if we are not as young as we used to be)

[Michelle James]

Why would he need to do a background check on someone "visiting"? I think he is overstepping his boundaries. I live in Michigan, there are alot of vacant pieces of property to put a mobile home on up north. Pretty cheap too. Maybe you should consider this option.

I'm not really sure except I think maybe they are paranoid about sex offenders. I was told that is what they are screening for. Maybe the next thing I should do is get a quote on moving it and setting it up somewhere else. At least then I will have more info to work with.

You pay your rent on time, you don't violate any of the published park rules, you mind your own business...and you contact the district attorney and the owner of the park relating your current status and explain that you are afraid that the manager will try and concoct a violation. Document everything he says. Managers for mobile home parks are not in small supply and his job isn't guaranteed. If he is the owner, do all the above until you can afford to move. Moving a mobile home and setting it up isn't difficult. (even if we are not as young as we used to be)

That is a great suggestion. I will start documenting everything. As it turns out we are one of the few who pay our rent on time, don't violate any of the published park rules, and mind our own business.

[Ashley Lyn]

why do you think the pitchforks and and torches would come out for a crossdresser...?
Nuttin' illegal about it.. Not like you are a child molester.. Michigan can't be worse than anywhere else..
Stand your ground!!!

[Kelly DeWinter]

You are covered under Civil Rights Guarantees in Michigan

http://www.michigan.gov/mdcr/0,4613,...6288--,00.html

Since you have lawfully complied with the parks rules and regulations concerning living in the Park (including already passing a background check ) legally you are NOT required to answer ANY questions regarding what you wear, I would just ignore the question , after all unless you have had a legal name change "Michelle" does not legally exist (please forgive me, no slight intended) . So unless they can prove that someone other then you and your spouse are living there, you can wear whatever you like, yes you will probably be 'discovered' at some point, but be brave at some point the TG community needs to be represented in the mobile home community, and by default it looks like it will be you. Read the info i have provided below.

Civil Rights Guarantees in Michigan
The Michigan Civil Rights Commission (MCRC) was established to identify and eliminate unlawful discrimination. This fact sheet outlines the civil rights guaranteed by law, and discusses the services available to every Michigan citizen in the protection of those rights.

Civil Rights Guaranteed by Law

Michigan law prohibits discrimination in employment, education, housing, public accommodations, and public service. The Michigan Department of Civil Rights has authority to accept complaints based on unlawful consideration of religion, race, color, national origin, arrest record, genetic information, sex, age, height, weight, marital status and disability. Discrimination on the basis of disability must be related to the person's ability to perform on the job or use facilities which cannot be reasonably altered (1963 Const., Art. II, and Art. V, Section 29; 1976 PA 220 and PA 453; and Rules Governing Organization and Procedures of the MCRC).

The Commission has the power to order remedies appropriate to the findings of unlawful discrimination


Rights to Equal Opportunity in Housing

A complaint may be filed if, for reasons of religion, race, color, national origin, age, sex, marital status, familial status, or disability, a person has been:

unable to obtain available housing
denied purchase or rental of housing
discriminated against with regard to housing conditions (unequal charges, restrictions, harassment)
evicted or threatened with eviction due to religion, race, etc., of visitors
unable to obtain a housing loan, though financially qualified
denied housing because of minor children or if an advertisement for housing limits sale or rental for any of the above reasons

Local Ordnance
Because statewide law is outdated and state lawmakers have avoided taking action, many local governments have
passed their own nondiscrimination ordinances that are more inclusive than the Elliott Larsen Civil Rights Act. Several of
these ordinances were passed after local voters demanded action. Fifteen cities prohibit discrimination based on at least
one of the following characteristics: sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression. The are listed below:
! Ann%Arbor
! Birmingham
! Detroit
! Douglas
! East%Lansing
! Ferndale
! Grand%Rapids
! Huntington%Woods
! Kalamazoo
! Lansing
! Saginaw
! Saugatuck
! Saugatuck%Township
! Traverse%City
! Ypsilanti

[Beverley Sims]

A bit unfortunate but your sister may not be able to visit for a while.
Is the background check he needs just a put up job?

[Badtranny]

Or maybe you'll get lucky and a trans girl will move in and take the heat before you move there.

...and by trans I mean somebody who is like me or Diane, or Rachael, or Pam, or Steph, or Lori, etc. Somebody who lives their life out in the open, and the bigots just have to deal with it.

[Michelle James]

Or maybe you'll get lucky and a trans girl will move in and take the heat before you move there.

...and by trans I mean somebody who is like me or Diane, or Rachael, or Pam, or Steph, or Lori, etc. Somebody who lives their life out in the open, and the bigots just have to deal with it.

Perhaps. Would you like to come to Michigan for an extended visit? I can offer free housing and possibly all the bigots you can handle.

Seriously tho, I live my life in the open down here in southeastern Michigan, and just about everywhere else just fine. That being said it's when I get to that trailer park I am for the first time fearful of the results of being found out. I know I should just head up there and proudly announce that I am trans and proud of it but right now I think the fear being beaten senseless by a bunch of ..................

The demographics of this place are aprox. 40% retirees, 10-15% young people (20s) and the rest are part time residents, mostly families, on the permanent side of the park. In other words the side that has mobile homes. The other side of the park is RV's and those "campers" can be a bit rowdy. Many have had the same space for season after season and feel as tho they have some ownership in the place. Many are macho sportsman types. As in God, Guns, booze, and "let's go beat up a queer mentality". I have nothing against God, guns and booze but that last part is a bit worry some since many ignorant bigots equate tranny with gay.

[Badtranny]

I have nothing against God, guns and booze but that last part is a bit worry some since many ignorant bigots equate tranny with gay.

LOL well we wouldn't want anyone to think you were GAY, omg!

Michelle, I agree that it's a tough situation, but my point remains. This is a perfect example of part-timer privilege and people like me don't have the option of "man'ing" up to suit the local taste. If I came to visit you, I would have no option but to face the bigots as I am. And it's not just me, if you hired Steph from New Jersey to do some electrical work, I guarantee she would be turning some heads in that place because she's in her first year of transition and I can tell you from experience that the first year is pretty rough. Steph and I walking around and making trips to the hardware store would be quite a site in that little town.

Oh and I definitely have something against God, Guns, & Booze. That happens to be the exact recipe for violence against people that are different. Perhaps you would feel the same if you had no choice but to live openly.

[Rileyaz]

Oh and I definitely have something against God, Guns, & Booze. That happens to be the exact recipe for violence against people that are different. Perhaps you would feel the same if you had no choice but to live openly.

Melissa,
I am into God, Guns & Booze, as are many other CDs and trannys. In fact, there is a group of gay gun owners in SF call the Pink Pistols. Please don't lump all them together with people that want to commit violence. The majority just want to be left alone, and will leave others alone as well.

[Michelle James]

LOL well we wouldn't want anyone to think you were GAY, omg!

My statement was an attempt at a little humor. I couldn't care is someone perceives me to be gay or anything else.

Michelle, I agree that it's a tough situation, but my point remains. This is a perfect example of part-timer privilege and people like me don't have the option of "man'ing" up to suit the local taste.

On your blog you state:" I submit that there is NO "right way" to transition because it's far too personal to be measured against someone else's life experience". How can you feel that way and at the same time be judgmental of my path?

Oh and I definitely have something against God, Guns, & Booze. That happens to be the exact recipe for violence against people that are different. Perhaps you would feel the same if you had no choice but to live openly.

I feel as tho I am getting a slap on the wrist because I'm doing it my way. Am I reading this wrong.

[STACY B]

Yall are ALL going about this in the WRONG WAY !!! LISTEN UP !!!!!! Some said God ,,Guns,,, An Booze right ? Well if ya wanna fit in an get along you were a Man at one time so you know what to do ,,, Buy the Beer ,,,, DINGBAT ,,,,, An then tell um Praise the Lord ,,, An then show then your collection ,, Problem solved !! GEEZ !!!

My work here is never done !!

[kathtx]

Michelle, if the neighbors are as unpleasant and intolerant as you suggest, why do you want to live there?

[Badtranny]

Judgmental?

Hmmm, that's an interesting point and I guess I can see why you would feel that way, but I don't agree. Transition IS indeed a very personal thing, but it's also a public thing. In your case I'm merely pointing out that you have, and are enjoying a privilege that only part-timers have access to.

Transitioners do not have the option of denying who they are. We have new names, and new ID cards, and long hair, etc. etc. You on the other hand just change your clothes and pass a background check as a dude. Wouldn't you like to see the manager's face when he saw MY background check? If I passed when I met him, he would definitely be surprised.

I'm not judging you at all, some of my good friends are part-timers. All I'm saying is, what you're afraid of experiencing is what some girls experience quite frequently as just a part of their life.

[Michelle James]

Michelle, if the neighbors are as unpleasant and intolerant as you suggest, why do you want to live there?

Knowing what I know now I don't, but selling the place has become more difficult than I thought. In addition to the aforementioned issues the park was sold shortly after we bought the money pit and conditions have deteriorated. The large corporation that now owns it only cares about full occupancy so that can show a profit and flip it. So maintenance and improvements are not happening.

[Angela Campbell]

You may be right about that. I can't find any specific protections either. I am more worried about the villager with torches and pitchforks once they find out.

If this is a worry then why have you gone out in public dressed as a woman at all? If you are going to be that way in public do not lie about it. If asked "who is that woman I saw" tell them it is me! You cannot hide it and be out at the same time.

If they threaten to oust you ask for the requirements that specifically say no transgender people are allowed.

[Michelle James]

If this is a worry then why have you gone out in public dressed as a woman at all? If you are going to be that way in public do not lie about it. If asked "who is that woman I saw" tell them it is me! You cannot hide it and be out at the same time.

If they threaten to oust you ask for the requirements that specifically say no transgender people are allowed.

The villagers with pitchforks line was an attempt at humor. Sorry! For the record I am not "that way in public" and I don't now or have I ever lied about anything on this forum. I deeply resent the implication. Further to make things easier so we can all get along I will stipulate that everyone on this forum is trannier than I. That being said there should be no further reason to attempt to prove it.

[kathtx]

The villagers with pitchforks line was an attempt at humor. Sorry! For the record I am not "that way in public" and I don't now or have I ever lied about anything on this forum. I deeply resent the implication. Further to make things easier so we can all get along I will stipulate that everyone on this forum is trannier than I. That being said there should be no further reason to attempt to prove it.

Michelle, to maybe clear the air a bit I don't think almostalady was accusing you of lying on this forum. I think she was talking about your wife's "standard answer" about being out with her sister-in-law.

I'm sorry you've gotten into a pickle that's hard to get out of. It doesn't sound like a good neighborhood, regardless of your gender presentation.

[Angela Campbell]

The villagers with pitchforks line was an attempt at humor. Sorry! For the record I am not "that way in public" and I don't now or have I ever lied about anything on this forum. I deeply resent the implication. Further to make things easier so we can all get along I will stipulate that everyone on this forum is trannier than I. That being said there should be no further reason to attempt to prove it.

I did not say you lied on this forum. The lie was telling someone you are your twin sister. Understandable but it doesn't make it better it makes things worse. Had they simply been told who that lady was there may have been raised eyebrows but likely little else. I was just saying if you are going to go out in public where others will see you, don't try to hide it. I doubt they can or will evict you because you are TG. In fact the trouble and publicity they will face doing so will not help their efforts to "flip" the park.