Un burdening to a stranger

[dominique]

Has any body done the above told some one like a close neighbour about how you started crossdressing probably happens after they've seen you dressed and the next few times after that. How did you feel after it, how did the person you told it to react.
The reason I ask this because I see a lot of threads about going to professional people to tell them. Just to see if it we're prepared to tell some one who is not close like a family member, but not too distant enough not to care.

If you see what I mean.

[Kimberly Kael]

In some ways that's what this forum is, a safe space to share with others where there's some presumption that we won't be judged too harshly. Trans conventions have similar appeal along with an in-person connection. I'm assuming none of this is quite what you had in mind.

I never approached anyone early on without having some non-trivial history. My next sounding board after women I dated was a good friend who had known me for long enough to know my judgement is pretty sound. I think that foundation of respect is extremely helpful in getting a conversation started on the right foot. She was quite surprised but very supportive, which helped tremendously when I was just learning to come out to a wider audience.

[kimdl93]

That wouldn't be a stranger, then, would it? As for coming out, I haven't viewed this as a way of lightening my load. Rather, it's been a simple reality. If people I know...other than family or friends...are likely to encounter me en femme, then I have come out. It's not therapeutic. It's practicality.

If you or any other person feels emotional stress and the need to talk, then take this to a trusted family member, close friend or a professional.

[Tina B.]

Outside the woman I live with, I've never felt I needed to tell anyone. Here I say things I would never talk about out in the world at large, most of them out there would never understand, some just would not care, it as nothing to do with them. I don't see where it befits them, or me, so why would I.

[AllieSF]

For all the reasons, obvious or not, it is many times much easier to talk to friendly strangers than to those that we know. A stranger is just that, they don't know us, will probably never see us again, if they are friendly, they will listen and probably give their honest reactions, and they hardly ever talk down to us nor tell us what to do. Sounds like the perfect fantasy friend.

[Beverley Sims]

I have discussed it with store assistants when buying clothes.
Not a deep and dark conversation but light and airy.

[Marissa V]

I dont care what strangers think, they dont know me and i dont know them so why should their views matter to me? The people you know are the hardest part. Especially close friends and family, and ofcourse your neighbours. I found that once people know you, even if its 'only' a neighbour, that the whole dynamics of a conversation about CDing (or being trans like in my case) changes. Once people know you, politeness comes into play, wich isnt a bad thing ofc.

For me personally, i've come out to everyone now, family, friends and my neighbours. And silly enough i found the neighbours to be hardest part...semi-strangers you live next door to...hard to get a grip on their reactions. But now i feel soooo much better for the simple reason i dont have to hide anymore. Your own approach is the key though. If you talk about your CDing and make it sound weird, ppl will think its weird... That doesnt mean there arent ppl around that wont get it, but they dont have to. Even ppl that are nice to you when you tell them won't get it, and thats ok. Respect is all it needs, if you have that and you talk about your CDing with respect, most of the time that is what you will get back in return.

[noeleena]

Hi,

A little different for myself . Okay i invited many people in to my life, though most i had known for over 19 years, this of cause is here in Waimate where we have lived so i was well known

first off family knew what i was doing Jos was allways going to know first,well we'd been to gether at that time for 24 years, now its been 39 years,

Apart form those who are new here many of the people here under 3,500 people know pretty much all about myself & have done for some 10 years, & they have accepted who i am as a person & as female, just a bit different thats all neighbers well they'v been here long enough to know as well nothing is hidden & theres no reason to, we just are good friends & iv helped them when needed. i allso know thier friends as well as they mine,

Yes i talk with many strangers i allso wellcome them here to Waimate, im a P R person involved with many groups so i spos im very open part of why im accepted,

Now about the professional people i never asked them about myself i told them i did not need to discuss what i was doing .

My friends i invited them to be part of my life as it was to unfold so they knew what was going to take place, so yes they were & still are surportive to myself i would say a bit more than just as a friend, if you mean to confide in oh yes i can when ever , they are true friends really its about trust. when you can it just makes it so much nicer, & quite lovely to tell the truth, as a community with in our people we are so much closer & thats about friendships that have taken place over many years,

you have to be inviting to start with you need to be open and honist maybe i'v gone about things in a different way ,well its pretty neat and its really lovely, so hope you get the idear .

...noeleena...