well as some of you may remember , a while back i was asking for advice on how to come out to my family and explain to them who i am . the person i wanted to tell the most is my mother , but it seemed that i never got the chance to do it or could never build up enough courage to verbally tell her ,. well last night that all changed .
my mother and l had been having a good day and was talking last night about some things going on in my life , i dont really remember what sparked the conversation but trying to tell her was right on the tip of my tounge all night and she could sense that ,. she finally asked me what was bothering me all night and i just couldnt make myself tell her , i kept telling her i will tell you soon when the time is right ,. i guess she couldnt take it anymore so SHE is the one who brought everything out of me and started the conversation about myself .
she asked me what ,are you gay ? bi-sexual ? a crossdresser ?
so right then i had to come clean and explain everything to her,. i told her that i have what is known as gender identity disorder , and that as long as i can remember , ive felt that i was born in the wrong body and that i wish i had been born a female ,. she said "well ive kinda had a feeling that something was going on but i just couldnt put my finger on it and was waiting for you to bring it up to me "
i said yes mom im sure you've noticed some of the changes going on in my life recently , she stoped me right there and told me no , she has been noticing things for the past few YEARS , but just didnt know what to think of it all and was hoping that i would come out to her about it .. i asked her what is the things she noticed and she said well , "ive noticed womens panties laying around in your room , some of my nail polish remover missing , and just the way you act or respond to certain things in general life ,. and ive seen you sleeping in silky blouses and womens clothes,. you remember the other night when i gave you a hug and you were wearing that Bra ? i was hoping you would have told me then but you didnt so i let it go "
she explained to me that she is 100% ok with it and was glad that everything is finally out in the open and that i dont have to hide myself anymore and felt bad that ive had to carry that huge weight on my shoulders for all this time,. she told me to just be myself and she will love me no matter what, just like she did 20 minutes ago before this conversation started , and that she will fully support me every step of the way through this new chapter of my life ,. then she said "ive always wanted a daughter ,. who knew that i had one this whole time ! " and she said it with a huge loving smile on her face
i also came out to her and told he that i am bi-sexual and even though there is this new side of me ,. i still love doing the things ive always done , wrenching on stuff , getting my hands dirty , racing ,.and i do want a wife and kids some day, but at the end of the day i still like to be feminine and feel beautiful
she asked me if anybody else knew and i told her no , she is the only person in this world that i have told ,. she told me that she will keep it our secret for as long as i want and that she will let me take the steps if i want to tell my close friends , other family and everybody else around me ,. but she also explained to me that this will take her some time to get use to and we'll both be walking through this together
after that , the rest of the night we kept talking and ive never felt more free and i could sense that she was also very relieved and very happy to know the true me .
so today is the first day that i am going to try and be my true self without hiding it ,. im not really sure how im going to do it yet but i will probably start slow ,. right now im wearing my fav pair of skinny girl jeans and a tight black tank top and im thinking i may paint my toe nails , maybe even my finger nails either a bright green or hot pink (any suggestions ?)..but i want to take it slow and not push her through to much too fast and not make it seem that im trying too hard and overly expressing myself
anywhoo i just wanted to share this with you girls here and thank each and every one of you for being on this web site . yall have given me so much courage and understanding that this is a GOOD thing to be going through
Luv ya Girls !!!
CJ
) ,.we even went grocery shopping together and went out to eat , and i actually went inside with her and we sat down and enjoyed ourselves and each others company ,. before this i would NEVER do them things , its been truely amazing and i feel so blessed to have such a wonderful mother , its funny , she told me that before i was born she was hoping for a girl , and that they were going to name me ''Athena'' if i had been born a girl ,. i told her na i like Courtney better 
