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Thread: Tips to an SO's acceptance

  1. #376
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    It's a two way street. And he is obviously not behaving the same way he was. Cant beat yourself up for that. I'm a very mild CD compared to most people here and my wife has expressed she likes having a man around the house. I have no desire to go farther which is a good thing bc it would put my marriage and family in jeopardy. She's never had an interest to be with a woman and me dressing and acting is not going to be something she is interested in. Womens Jean's, yoga pants she's bought me, Panties, pantyhose and camis in bed is one thing. Dresses, wigs forms is quite another

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    I can be manly in camis, panties and pantyhose, but hard to be manly in forms, wigs and dresses

  2. #377
    New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Niles Michigan
    So sorry you have come to this point. You are right and he is not giving you your do respect. He should bend over backwards meeting your needs for all you have willingly given to his wants and desires. I do hope things can be worked out. Good luck.

  3. #378
    New Member tmonsivais's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Quote Originally Posted by Greenie View Post
    Tips to an "easier" road to acceptance, as told by a GG.

    I think that I have made a place for myself here. Many of you know me. I have met and become friends with many of you. I just realized a lot more lately there is quite a bit of verbiage on here that worries me.

    Many of you have become my friends. And friends help friends not make horrendous mistakes. As a GG, to be honest if Luca said HALF of the things I have heard around here about wives, SO's and etc. I would be CRYING in the corner and then packing my bags. If the goal is to find an ACCEPTING SO or to have your wife accept you.... Some of you are doing it wrong.

    The GG's that are here, who stick around, have SO's that they are making it work with. We aren't always right either but I think that we have some valuable insight that might make it easier on you and your wives. Take it with a grain of salt because all relationships and wives are different.

    While Lucas and I's relationship is FAR from perfect. CDing is my LEAST concern. I think its because we have done a pretty good job in the last couple months establishing "rules of thumb"

    DON'T lie:
    When you tell her, be an open book. Answer her questions when she asks. Tell her that you will answer any question she has and will be honest. This establishes trust.
    Don't tell half truths, this will hurt later on down the line and we found this one out the hard way.

    DO Appeal to our femininity:
    Explain to her the feeling that you get when you dress. Its similar to how when we dress up for an event or wear heels. When most women dress up they feel Sexy. Confident. Ready to take the world. Find something about how we like to feel when we dress and when you tell her appeal to that need or feeling. For us it was luca telling me he thought that it was "fun" to dress up and he wanted to be included in that idea of "fun".

    NEVER tear down HER view of what makes her feminine:
    Remember that she is a NATURAL woman. She has things about her that make her feminine by birth. her CLOTHES. HAIR. MAKEUP. NONE of that is what makes her feminine. Its her walk, her talk, her attitude, her confidence. What makes YOU feminine and what make HER feminine, don't have to be the same things.

    NEVER compare yourself to her:
    This would be a disaster. Comparing how "good" you look, or how "well" you walk in heels. This is never going to help. if she is super feminine and she is the "kind of woman you would like to be" Then use HER as the EXPERT. Ask her for help. Just last week I had a "walking" in heels impromptu class for Luca down the hall way. If she feels like she is the "leading expert" on being a woman she will not only be happier with herself, but in turn will be happier teaching you to be more feminine.

    DO respect that she has been a girl her entire life,
    Sometimes wives aren't your idea of feminine. Remember that your idea and her idea of feminine are different. But being a woman here entire life she has a great deal of amassed knowledge that you, having lived most of your life as a man, will probably never be able to approach. So DO ask for help doing your nails, even if you think you know how. She might have some tricks for you. DO ask her for help with your hair and makeup. DO talk to her about those silly things like why women insist on showing bra straps under a cami. DO defer to her on many things.

    DON'T steal her clothes:
    If you have in the past, FESS UP. Then stop. We don't like to share. We don't want you stretching out our favorite blouse, or heaven forbid ruin one. (note) some wives are cool with sharing. Just ask/talk first.

    DO have her help you purchase new ones:
    Buying clothes for luca was a bonding experience. I actually found out his size and went shopping for him on my own. It gave me time to get used to the idea that this was a new reality. I could pick up something and decide that I liked it. Yeah this way some things didn't fit. We had to do some returns, but I got comfortable knowing.

    DON'T use CDing as a substitute:
    For anything. For sex. For emotional connection. CDing is a part of you, but it cannot rule you. Once you start using CDing as a substitute for something else it becomes this large pink fog monster that your wife will have no idea how to handle.

    DO tell her when its going to move further:
    So this part sucks. CDing for most is progressive. Luca and I had a conversation about always being honest when he needs more. But I am always allowed to be honest and say when it becomes to much. Is this scary? Yes. Could this mean either a massive compromise that leaves one of us un happy? Maybe? Could this lead to a break up? Maybe. But in the end just TALKING about wants, needs, fears. Will give a greater understanding of "what's going on."

    If anyone has any rules of thumb to add, want to talk about mine or whatever. Lets talk about it. I think it would be nice to eventually have a massive list of these. Even though all of them wont work for your specific situation. Even if one tidbit is helpful that would be great.

    Isn't that what we all are here for? Support? Acceptance?
    My wife and I have a wonderful relationship but even reading this I something new...Is trying on her clothes while she is sleeping considered to be stealing?😬 She usually catches me anyway or blames even though I didn't try them on 😂 She is a good sport about it . But I think what you wrote is great!

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