Life is like a coloring book

[Frédérique]

Or "colouring book," if you’re from the UK (or former possession)...

Life is like a coloring book. You’re supposed to stay within the lines when you fill in the colors, and everyone might have the same book, with the same outlines, and the same implements to color with. Some stay within the lines, while some others, namely the expressive types, may balk at such ridiculous restrictions. I’ve seen some children color violently OUTSIDE the lines, often laughing as they do so – they are consciously making their own path, because they must...

The MtF crossdresser is DEFINITELY operating outside the lines, as provided by the “rules” of society. In this context, I think the coloring book is a thinly-veiled exercise or litmus test – will you OBEY, and stay within your boundaries? More importantly, will you accept the confines of your birth gender, wear the clothes appropriate to your sex, and be a GOOD boy? The flimsy scaffolding of civilization, as well as the future of the human race, depends on you staying within your allotted space, forever, and never venturing forth beyond the provided line(s)...

If you wear the clothes you’re NOT supposed to wear, you are effectively traipsing outside the lines, and everyone gets nervous, even if your personal journey is really something beautiful. There seems to be this stigma about “doing the right thing,” and this involves some real sacrifice, for the good of everyone except you. Oh, you may eventually make peace with your boundaries, even though you dream about exploring beyond the lines, perhaps even expressing the REAL you, namely the “you” who has been suppressed since childhood...

Of course, I know why everyone would prefer that you stay within the lines, both in a coloring book and in the real world. On one hand, people are trying to help. They want the “best” for you, perhaps something they could not achieve, and staying within certain confines gives you the best chance of success, a straight line from A to B. If you stay within bounds, you will quickly come up with something that is beautiful (to others) and pre-approved. On the other hand, going outside the lines leads to chaos, uncertainty, and consternation for all. Going outside of the provided boundaries means you’re OUT OF CONTROL, and people wish to control you...

I really think that innocuous things like coloring books shape little minds, and, I admit, I used to color within the lines as neatly and cleanly as possible – going outside the lines never crossed my mind, so to say, but I saw coloring as a skill, or a challenge. I eventually became an artist, and I still work very closely with outlines, but the lines I adhere to these days are my own invention, and not the work of others. Even so, crossdressing represents my little foray into forbidden territory, albeit with the goal of hedonistic enjoyment, an antidote to restriction in all its myriad forms. I could not bring myself to stray over the lines with my wax crayons, but I can certainly dress up, play as a girl, and laugh like a happy child as I go forth beyond the boundary...

Are you drawn (pardon the pun) to do things you’re not supposed to do, like crossdress?

PS – This was inspired by two unrelated events. One, I saw a Crayola commercial on TV, with several kids working on coloring books (all of them staying within the lines, I might add). Two, during the recent baseball suspensions I heard one analyst say that players who accepted their punishment “stayed within the lines,” i.e. agreed to be controlled, while one player chose not to. The latter got all of the attention. Go figure...

[Emi]

Wow, great post! This one got me thinking..........

[Ericaxd]

Thanks for that intriguing post. Coloring outside the lines (or thinking outside the box, to use a now hackneyed business favorite) suggests to me, too, an unwillingness to be confined by conventional expectations as an indicator of creativity. I suspect if we conducted a poll of the members here, we'd find that a great percentage or in some creative endeavor. (I'm a writer, artist, and actor--the latter two strictly amateur.) Most human advancement relies on those willing to color outside the lines--in science, medicine, art, technology, you name it.

Call me a proud scribbler (and one who always encouraged my own kids to color outside the lines.)

[Jasmyne]

Thank you for your thoughtful post. I like the analogy, and it has given me something to consider.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

The MtF crossdresser is DEFINITELY operating outside the lines, as provided by the “rules” of society.

If you wear the clothes you’re NOT supposed to wear, you are effectively traipsing outside the lines, and everyone gets nervous, even if your personal journey is really something beautiful.

Of course, I know why everyone would prefer that you stay within the lines, both in a coloring book and in the real world.

Even so, crossdressing represents my little foray into forbidden territory, albeit with the goal of hedonistic enjoyment, an antidote to restriction in all its myriad forms. I could not bring myself to stray over the lines with my wax crayons, but I can certainly dress up, play as a girl, and laugh like a happy child as I go forth beyond the boundary...

Are you drawn (pardon the pun) to do things you’re not supposed to do, like crossdress?

No, not about whining per se, but about repetitiveness. You basically write the same post over and over and over.

"Crossdressing is outside the boundaries of acceptance and society looks down upon us, dear sweeties. So let us revel in our effeminacy."

And then some newb come along and tells you how thoughtful and sensitive you are, which is what you really want.... the attention.

Crossdressers are only outside the boundaries only as much as they want to be. We see here many examples of crossdressers interacting with society in various ways All The Time. How can crossdressers be truly outside the lines if they interact with society as crossdressers.

Also, you don't need to use the font color code to declare your posts black a la: [color=black]..... black is the default!

Veronica

[jenni_xx]

The "analogy" doesn't work. A better "analogy" would be one in which a CD falls from one "box" into another "box". They (we) do not fall outside of such boxes. We merely fall outside of the "box" that is attributed to our birth gender. A child who, in your analogy, draws outside the lines of their colouring book, knows no boundaries. Hence why your analogy doesn't work in this respect. A simple search through pretty much every single thread on this site will therefore show just how much your analogy doesn't fit.

I agree with you Veronica. A while back, Frederique used to post using a different font. A much smaller font. A way, no doubt, of distinguishing his/her posts from all the others here. Or perhaps just a way to make those that read his/her posts focus just that little bit harder (because the font used by Frederique was so small). There was a reason why Frederique did that. A reason that really is all too transparent.

I don't mind thought provoking posts. I will give Frederique credit in that respect. At least he/she tries. All to often however, while the response to such posts are wide and in number, Frederique will rarely, if ever, pay nearly as much attention to the replies as he/she will the posts which instigate such a discussion. Frederique, in creating such posts, clearly wants responses to these posts. And so do the people who bother to reply. To be blunt, I just do not believe that Frederique is genuine.

I'm sorry, I'm sounding too harsh. But I just can not help but feel that we have a patronising, ill-thought out philosopher-want-to-be amongst our midst here. One who is attempting to take us all for a ride.

[Tess]

I'm sorry, I'm sounding too harsh. But I just can not help but feel that we have a patronising, ill-thought out philosopher-want-to-be amongst our midst here. One who is attempting to take us all for a ride.

Wow...sounds like whining to me.

Freddy, most of us like your topics so don't be detered by those that are more impressed by their own intellect.

[kimdl93]

I sucked at coloring....never could figure out why every dinosaur had to,be green. Mine had a different color for each leg and the body and head were a multicolor assortment as well.

I guess I rejected the gender boundary grudgingly...for many years I not only stayed within the lines but I stayed as far away from the lines as possible, lest someone notice how interested I was in that which lay beyond the boundary. I finally crossed over and I don't want to go back. Ever!

[Beverley Sims]

There is another way of looking at this.
Those that stray outside the lines are considered adventurous and imaginative.
Stay inside the lines and it is neat, dull and boring.

[Leona]

I like the analogy in particular because when you color outside the lines as a kid and show it to somebody, their first response is inevitably discomfort. Then they say something patronizing and condescending. Never do they actually look at what you did.

I would love to see men's styles including dresses and skirts and stuff and having that normalized. I do believe that many who CD but have no underlying gender thing going on would be happy with that (except for the few rebels who will still wear women's clothes just because "coloring outside the lines" is their expression). I also think that many who have an underlying gender thing going on would find it somewhat satisfied.

I'm with Beverly on this one. "Well-behaved women seldom make history."

[Kate Simmons]

I tend to look at the fact that if it's my "coloring book", I can color nicely within the lines or scribble all over it any damn way I please. My crayons, my book and my rules. That having been said, I've always thought outside of the proverbial "box" because to myself, there is no blamed "box" and never will be.

[Jasmyne]

And then some newb come along and tells you how thoughtful and sensitive you are, which is what you really want.... the attention.

Ah, but isn't that what a certain subset of the CD/TG community want? I'm sure some here have seen RuPal's Drag Race show. I'd venture to say part of the appeal to him and those who get on the show is coloring outside the lines for the attention it gives them.

I wasn't sure how to say this earlier, but have had time to think on it some more. Look at Frédérique's statement at the very end as to what sparked these thoughts for her. The last one of the player stood out to me most, being that 1 player wasn't "staying in the lines" and was getting a large amount of attention. One can argue he was "coloring outside the lines" merely for attention in our media dominated society.

jenni_xx - Sure, the analogy weakens if you ply it the way you suggest, because we all want acceptance. We all want to "belong" somewhere in this world, therefore, the minute we begin to shape ourselves to that vision we begin to "color inside the lines". Yet, the analogy will still apply because you will have those within that group who are more creative and imaginative, whom will by nature likely go outside those draw lines and boundaries. It's all a matter of context.

The OP may not have been thought provoking to you, and you have seen more posts from Frédérique than I have to date. However, I enjoy a good discussion as it brings out multiple perspectives and points of view I may never have seen otherwise (regardless if I agree or not).

[gennee]

I like your post, Frederique. It reminds me that when I put on my first article of women's clothing I crossed that line. It felt good to do that. Now I'm the person that I truly am.

[NathalieX66]

My life is more like comic book.

[Leona]

And then some newb come along and tells you how thoughtful and sensitive you are, which is what you really want.... the attention.

Is that the kind of noob I was?

At the risk of going offtopic, I get really annoyed when people use fonts, font sizes, and colors that aren't the default. I have trouble reading these little fonts and have to use my browser to increase the size sometimes, and it doesn't always work. First rule of web design: never assert your design as superior to the reader's needs. I don't have to read your posts, and if you really care (which most probably don't, heh), you'll stick with defaults. I don't read purple, lavendar, or pink on these forums at all.

[MysticLady]

I live in a cylinder.

[Jana]

Funny how people get chastised and ridiculed for coloring outsided the lines. That until they manage to get some notoriety for what they are doing. Then, things change, and not only are they encouraged and allowed to "do their thing", they start getting followers (and often some of the followers are former detractors). Go figure.

[Zylia]

To the best of my knowledge they hand out all kinds of coloring books, and there are places in the world where you will not be judged instantly and by everybody if you decide to turn your drawing into a Kandinsky instead of a Rembrandt. You may not always get the coloring book you want, but sometimes you just have to make do with the crayons that were given to you. You can always decide to move to a place where people are more appreciative of your art, and if you can't today, make sure you can tomorrow.

I never do things because I'm not supposed to do them.

[NicoleScott]

Wow, look who's whining now. If you don't like Frederique's threads (a lot of us DO), you are free to ignore them, and you are not compelled to whine about their repetitiveness or Frederique's choice of fonts/colors. Just move along and let the rest of us enjoy her posts. Thank you.

Frederique, I like your analogy.

[LilSissyStevie]

I'm not sure what your reference to the baseball suspensions was about but those players agreed to the "lines" and promised to stay within them. When they "colored outside the lines" they were committing a fraud against their employers, fellow players and fans. I never agreed to be a "man," that was a role assigned to me, so I don't feel any compulsion to stay within the lines of "manhood."

[AllieSF]

Here you go Freddy. I always loved this song. On the album I have, the sound quality is excellent.

Harry Chapin - Flowers Are Red

http://www.whosdatedwho.com/tpx_3878...in/tpx_1630197

[NicoleScott]

I took the baseball reference to mean that the players did X (cheated) and accepted Y (their punishment) within the guideLINES of the CBA. I could be wrong, but that's how I read it.

[LilSissyStevie]

I suppose that's how it was meant. But the reason the one player didn't accept his punishment wasn't because he thinks he has a right to color outside the lines he agreed to stay within. Maybe he does think that but that's not why he appealed. He appealed because, unlike the others, his punishment was arbitrary and not agreed upon beforehand. Maybe he deserves it, I don't know. I don't see how it is analogous to crossdressing. I never signed a contract agreeing to not wear dresses.