I'm taken aback and confused sometimes by my need to cross dress.
This past year has been hugely stressful, not related to CDing. I find myself doing cross dressing because it is comforting and where I feel safe, as safe can be. It distracts me from my day to day anxiety ruled existence. Luckily this cr** will end in mid September and I can get back to somewhat of a normal life.
Has anybody had this experience?
Hi Ossian,
I definitely cross dress more when work is stressful. It relaxes me and takes my mind away from the work world. I actually restarted cross dressing about 8 years ago because work was just too much - the anticipation of receiving my first bra and forms order really helped!
ossian,
i can understand....although I am about to get out and my unit is not deployable, it can get pretty hectic at my unit and my wife knows that if I come home and I want to put on a dress or blouse and skirt once I get home.....I had a long day!
Ossian, I crossdress more under stress. I feel calm and relaxed when dressed. During the past year I have been unemployed twice due to company closings. At the same time I am the caregiver for my wife with medical issues. I find it extremely relaxing to do my household chores while wearing a skirt. My wife calls me "Suzy Homemaker" and appreciates what I do. For a while I forget about everything going on.
Somtimes the light's all shining on me, Other times I can barely see.
Lately it's occured to me.....What a long strange trip it has been.
Truckin by the Grateful Dead
I think we can all agree dressing is a great stress reliever.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I often find the act of dressing, while I'm doing a very complicated session, to be stressful.
However, every time I dress is completely distracting for me. The other thots that normally flash thru my mind randomly disappear entirely while I'm dressing!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I think that you need to look deeper for reasons that you crossdress. If it were only a coping mechanism to help your stress levels, why would you not choose any other activity such as working out, playing an instrument, settling down with a good book, or any number of other activities.Originally Posted by ossian
Although it feels good to CD and it does take your mind off your stress, something other than the stress draws you to it. In other words, if you were not stressed you would still CD. A lot of members find that their cross-gender expression increases once they are retired, for example.
Reine
Hi all, I have a different so called problem. I have to dress as my GG needs it, Yep she gets stress out and wants her girl friend. My GG this year has had a whole lots of different things come down on her. From a broken leg to blood clots in her lungs [ ALMOST DIED] I am at this point dressed almost night an day. Even to bed at night. I am not complaining but I am learning what women have a lot to go thru night an day. It has made me more aware of being a women. It is not the cloths it is having to think like a women. I have learned a lot
Imagine owning a costume like those in the movie Avatar. Yes they were likely digitally created but imagine having one as a costume. Now imagine being able to put that costume on and become someone completely different from yourself. That is what crossdressing can be. A way to be completely different from yourself and still be a member of the human race. Crossdressing can also be a crutch, something that destroys a relationship, precipitates loss of employment.
So if there is stress, what better way to completely transform yourself in to someone as perfect and free from problems as you desire?
Yes there are other ways to relieve stress but few offer the complete abandonment of one's troubled self like crossdressing.
Only a crossdresser would truely understand this.
I also find stress relief when I am all dolled up.
But for me I think it is because when dressed I feel natural and not fighting the daily being a boy stuff.
I dressed and made-up to the nines last evening and slept in a nightie and woke up refreshed and feeling really good.
Crossdressing has always been a stress reliever for me. When I am dressed I have no bills, no work to concern myself with, no other problems in the world "those are HIS problems not mine". I have not a care in the world except how do I look and what can do to be best lady I can be. I understand you very well!
I think that what you are getting at here is the cause/effect relationship. Cause and effect can both be valid reasons for doing anything and both answer the single question "why".
"Why do you read books? My intellectual curiosity compels me to devour as much information as I can find. Cause.
"Why do you read books? Because they relax me and put me to sleep" Effect.
"Why do you crossdress? Because I have an intense need to give vent to my feminine side" Cause.
"Why do you crossdress? Because I find it to be very relaxing and an escape from male restrictions" Effect.
Veronica
I wrote on here a few months ago about visiting a therapist of my acquaintance as Joanne. One thing she said was that she had never seen me so calm as I was that day. For me, I become a completely different person as Joanne. It seems as if I'm not the only one that happens to :-)
I might be oversimplifying, but it's not hard to see how becoming someone else (or a different you) for a bit could relieve stress!
Hi Ossian, Cross dressing is a great pressure relief valve.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
It is part of the tapestry of coping mechanisms. think of it like this..... when you are at the Chinese buffet you don't choose only the white rice for lunch. In the same way, at least for me, choosing to cross dress helps me cope with stress. Now does that mean that there is something deeper? Perhaps, I just don't know and right now, don't care. It is not an all encompassing earth shaking soul rentching thing, it comforts me in times of stress. In the past it has bothered me but now I'm beginnings to accept it for what it is, and come to terms for my self as a bigender person.
Yes, I do dress in a non stress work situation, but it pushes itself to the front of my set of coping mechanisms when things start to heat up. It doesn't negate that I'm a bigender individual but it does reflect my in ability through societal definitions of where I'm allowed to have my comfort places.
Having seen ossian's response, I feel like I should offer something else.
What about a situation where you feel like you want to retreat to a completely different persona? Many people, when faced with serious stress, want to take a few hours and just BE someone else. Crossdressers have kind of an advantage there in that we already know who that someone else is that we want to be.
In that way, you could put on any costume and accomplish the same thing. Or you could play WoW, or some other MMORPG. You could have your retreat into a fictional universe and be a fictional character.
Ah, but. But. But. But.
But crossdressers don't become fictional characters, do they? We become real people. We started as real people, we put on our costume, and then we end as real people, and you can't do that, can you?
(I see the superiority implied in my post, and I don't see how to remove that without removing my fundamental question, so I'd like you to answer without assuming I'm being a supremicist of any kind, if that's at all possible)
Edit: Jessicapaige: You are very pretty. I don't see if you're a GG or not, and it doesn't matter because you are a pretty lady.
Ossian, I'm glad that you are beginning to accept this in yourself.
My SO stopped asking long ago why she does this, and then it became clear. She's bigender too.
If you're asking me these questions .... I suppose some people crossdress as an escape. And I'm sure that others crossdress to express something that is internal. As for me, I've often wanted to escape my life or I've wished intensely for some pain to go away, but I've never had a desire to become someone else. And I've not had to hide who I am, so I do not feel the relief in expressing something internal that I have had to suppress.
Last edited by ReineD; 08-09-2013 at 01:41 AM.
Reine
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