well coming out to the boss. I got an idea. Let me know if it's stupid.
I was at a Goodwill and noticed some cute pants. Well, I as Jenny don't wear pants. But, I decided to try them on and they fit perfectly. The thing is, they are obviously women's pants. So, would any of ya'll wear them to work knowing that the boss will most likely recognize them as womens.... Thus opening up the conversation to my real self?
Perplexed.
Last edited by Jenny CD; 08-09-2013 at 02:50 AM. Reason: double dipping...
Change is inevitable...
"Not I" said the big bad wolf
I doubt that the company profits would increase any if their customers found out, in fact their profits will probably drop significantly
See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz
Change may be inevitable if you wish to come out to your boss.
Do you like your job?
I say forget it and come out elsewhere.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Unless you know that your boss is the accepting type, coming out to him is a big risk, and the benefits of coming out to him are probably small.
No way, open up to people away from work.
Keep your mind on the job, you may think to much about girly things.
Hi Jenny, Be careful what you wish for.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Yeah, it's stupid.
Why do you feel you have to come out as a cross dresser? That's mind boggling to me. Even so, if you do feel you have to come out, sit down and tell him. Hinting is a really, really bad way to do it.
Hi Jenny, why do you feel the need to tell your boss about this? If you feel you need too, just tell him, don't beat around the bush. Be careful though, You won't be able too take it back. Make damn sure he's not a homophobic or some weird alpha male Hulk wannabe.
Isn't it funny how we all assume the boss is a male? Sigh. You can take the gender bias out of the boy, but . . .
Kathi
If you're a recreational cross dresser keep your private life private. Other than opening up a discourse as to what your inner self is all about, what will outing yourself achieve. You indicated Jenny does not wear pants. Wearing a cute summer dress and heels would really open up a conversation of your inner self. Leave the fem attire at home!
I would be interested to hear that answer. Personally as a cross dresser the fewer that know my secret the happier I am. I can certainly appreciate the difference for a transsexual who really needs to live as a woman. Is he a friend outside of work? Do you want to attend venue's he might be at? Are you considering going full time?Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
I also have to agree on "Hinting is a really, really bad way to do it. There is no substitute for open and honest communication
Hug
Rita
P.S.
Kathi Lake said "Isn't it funny how we all assume the boss is a male? Sigh. You can take the gender bias out of the boy, but . . . "
/blush you are so right!
Last edited by Princess Grandpa; 08-09-2013 at 10:04 AM. Reason: added post script
A person should wear what he likes to. And not just what other folks say. A person should be who she likes to. A person's a person that way!
~Marlo Thomas~
Wearing womens jeans may spark a conversation but unless you carry the point all the way, the boss probably wont assume youre a full blown crossdresser. Many straight, non-CDing guys wear womens jeans because it fits better or what have you. Okay, maybe not many. But the point is, jeans alone wont bring them to that assumption. Of course, the type of profession and type of boss does play a role in their assumptions.
Fairy for Life!
I was required to wear a uniform at work but a lot of the guys would wear jeans if they worked the night shift.
Did wear jeans every now and then and they were womens jeans just didn't have all the bling on them.I never caught flak over it.
I don't think a nondescript pair of pants will get you in trouble.
If they are capris or super tight then maybe they will.
My question is why do you have to come out to your boss?
Last edited by Tracii G; 08-09-2013 at 10:14 AM.
Well, I assume this since, jenny is asking us for opinions on how to handle this. Regarding a woman boss, I would have no issues letting her know if I felt the need too do so. But, I guess, there are the she-hulk types alpha females. Alpha's just amaze me sometimes and just too put them in their place would be the reason I would do it. But, that's just me, I'm weird that way. A humble and sensitive male or female would affect me the other way. I would have no issues becoming their servant probably because I feel that they will not abuse that power.
I don't think I would feel any different talking to a woman boss than a man. I don't believe for a moment that its more likely a woman would accept this than a man.
Hug
Rita
Last edited by Princess Grandpa; 08-09-2013 at 10:49 AM. Reason: typpos
A person should wear what he likes to. And not just what other folks say. A person should be who she likes to. A person's a person that way!
~Marlo Thomas~
also a no. Instead of trying to elicit a response, first, do some research, find out what your company's policies are on gender matters and then, when and if you know your rights, work through HR to come out in an orderly manner.
If its a small firm without such structures, I'd talk with your boss and let him know your feelings. It may or may not be a short conversation.
Well, maybe I was the one being stereotypical, because I assumed that a male boss wouldn't know men's pants from women's pants. When Jenny said her boss would recognize them as women's pants, the first thing I thought of was "Well, then her boss is obviously female, since a male doesn't notice squat." So put me down for a bit of gender bias as well.
Kathi
I would not recommend coming out at work.
I'm in a slightly different situation; I work at a small business and I am the boss. I see nothing to gain by coming out to my employees and everything to lose. My cross-dressing is simply not relevant to them.
If one of my employees told me he/she was TV/Gay/TS or whatever, I wouldn't care one way or the other, but I would wonder why I was told. I don't really care what my employees do on their own time as long as their work performance is good, and I don't particularly even want to know what they do outside of work.
The only reason I can see for an employee telling me something private like this would be if he/she wanted counselling to resolve psychological issues; such counselling is covered by my company's health plan. I would treat the information as confidential medical information, no different from any other request for medical coverage.
Last edited by Dianne S; 08-09-2013 at 11:06 AM. Reason: Updated info
I will defer to Smokey The Bear who advises; "Only YOU Can Prevent Forest Fires!"
Two Spirits
You don't say what type of work it is, or how much public contact you have. This might effect how it would effect the company.
Why? Are you going to transition? I wouldn't unless it really matters. I don't see why it would
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
I hadn't really considered that aspect. I would hazard to say most men wouldn't notice the ladies pants on a lady but put them on a guy and suddenly they stand out.Well, maybe I was the one being stereotypical, because I assumed that a male boss wouldn't know men's pants from women's pants. When Jenny said her boss would recognize them as women's pants, the first thing I thought of was "Well, then her boss is obviously female, since a male doesn't notice squat." So put me down for a bit of gender bias as well.
Kathi
And I, still ashamed I just assumed male.
I do hope you answer some of the questions and advise us on how you proceed Jenny
Hug
Rita
A person should wear what he likes to. And not just what other folks say. A person should be who she likes to. A person's a person that way!
~Marlo Thomas~
I think it would be great if there were more open CD's in the work place.
you should do it.
Great, throw gas on the fire and watch for the fallout!!!I think it would be great if there were more open CD's in the work place.
you should do it.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
I think I'll wait a while. I'm doing real good at work. It's in the hotel industry and I deal a lot with the public. And yes, transitioning is on the top and back of my mind, just not there, yet (in a complete decision). I'm still in therapy working things out in my head.
Thanks ladies. I appreciate your input!
Change is inevitable...
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