Bless you Erin. Although I've been saying something similar, there are those (most?) in this section who will categorically disagree with you. I can't even punch my TS card in this section, let alone a woman card, despite what is in my heart & soul at the core of my very being...present during every waking moment since I became self-aware at a very young age. Regardless, I don't believe OP will have such an issue given she's 24/7, on HRT, etc.
By your measure Erin, OP is a woman and her BF said something very insensitive. I think his being CD is kind of irrelevant other than the fact that perhaps he should have known better. Or should he??? How would he know any of the nuance of how we feel in our hearts if he hasn't been educated in such things. That's really no different than any other Muggle out there. And it's really no different from the ignorance within our own community that grants trans and/or woman status based on transition without consideration of anything else in the person's situation.