Successful transitions

[dreamer_2.0]

Therapy is going well, though, i think, because the depression is so overwhelming a lot of the time I focus on the negative aspects of transitioning. This seems counterproductive and likely feeds the depression creating a wonderful cycle.

Today my therapist told me I should look for 9 positive stories for every 1 negative. I'm wondering if anyone can point me towards some positive stories, blogs, books, videos; anything that may help improve my outlook on transgenderism and transexuality.

There are some good vlogs on YouTube, need more stuff like that.

Thanks!

[Kathryn Martin]

Hi Dreamer, I think there are many here who have positive stories to tell. This is a fortunate site because some of those that are post op have remained and continue in the conversations. Most often you hear little or nothing from those that have crossed the rubicon because they have completely integrated into the world in which they live. But look around and talk to those that have fully transitioned......

[arbon]

look on Lynn Conway's web page she has a list of successful trans women

[Marleena]

Yes I can think of about 5 right here off the top of my head Kathyn, Jorja, Kaitlyn, Michelle, Frances. Hopefully I didn't screw that up too.

[Nicole Brown]

The wonderful, recently deceased singer Donna Summers was once quotes as saying, "I can't make you happy if you are not happy yourself." I think you might want to look into yourself and try to determine why you are feeling depression rather than look for happy stories.

I went through a bout with depression at the end of last year. My therapist recommended that I begin HRT as soon as possible because I was suffering from Gender Dysphoria. Today I have been on hormones for nearly 7 months, am living full time as a woman and I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life.

IMHO, your first order of business should be to determine why you are depressed, then take the steps necessary to combat the cause. Good luck...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Being Not depressed is very different than being happy

If you are clinically depressed I don't believe there is evidence that your gender issues caused it, but it's common sense that worrying all day about this stuff could make you sad and trigger something like depression

I am not doctor but if there is a clinically depressed person, and that person has a problem (for example, being a transsexual!!..or having no $$, or no love life...) fixing the depression is job one...find the right meds and the right therapy for yourself and give yourself a better chance to SUCCESSFULLY deal with your gender problems....solving important problems through the dark colored glasses of depression is not a good place to be..

[PaulaQ]

In my support group, when asked "would you make the choice to transition again, knowing what you know now," everyone who'd either transitioned, or was very far along raised their hands. So despite the hardships some had faced they felt it was worth it, without any real question.

Hey, the barriers to transitioning seem really immense, and I know it probably seems just impossible, but people do it every day, and live much more authentic lives.

[dreamer_2.0]

The wonderful, recently deceased singer Donna Summers was once quotes as saying, "I can't make you happy if you are not happy yourself." I think you might want to look into yourself and try to determine why you are feeling depression rather than look for happy stories.

I went through a bout with depression at the end of last year. My therapist recommended that I begin HRT as soon as possible because I was suffering from Gender Dysphoria. Today I have been on hormones for nearly 7 months, am living full time as a woman and I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life.

IMHO, your first order of business should be to determine why you are depressed, then take the steps necessary to combat the cause. Good luck...

You're absolutely right, Nicole. External factors, such as happy stories, won't have much, if any, effect on my internal self. However, with all the reading of TS suicide rates and girls losing loved ones and jobs, it's tough to remember that there is some good, too! It just seems to get eclipsed by the bad, at least from my perspective. Though perhaps I should say 'potentially bad' as it's possible to not have your life turned upside down, according to a couple girls I've spoken with here.

I also believe that I have to look inward to actually fight the depression and I also believe I know why I am depressed (PM if you're curious about details). Just haven't figured out how to beat it. I've recently started a new antidepressant prescription so hopefully that'll kick in and help. Till then, I'm learning (albeit slowly) how to accept this hand I've been dealt.

Hearing that you're happier now than you have ever been in your entire life...is very inspirational.

[Aprilrain]

It's a hard road especially at first. Kaitlyn makes a good point, depression is a separate issue from gender dysphoria and needs to be dealt with on it's own. Personally I found that antidepressants helped. In my opinion there is no other cure for extreme GD other than transition. Ones success depends on a number of factors and success means different things to different people.

[dreamer_2.0]

If you are clinically depressed I don't believe there is evidence that your gender issues caused it, but it's common sense that worrying all day about this stuff could make you sad and trigger something like depression

Exactly. Focusing on nothing but the negative leads to more negative, hence the request for help finding more positive.

I am not doctor but if there is a clinically depressed person, and that person has a problem (for example, being a transsexual!!..or having no $$, or no love life...) fixing the depression is job one...find the right meds and the right therapy for yourself and give yourself a better chance to SUCCESSFULLY deal with your gender problems....solving important problems through the dark colored glasses of depression is not a good place to be..

That's essentially what I'm doing now. Been on meds for quite a while and am trying new ones now. Started therapy this past February which led to gender therapy in July. Also working (again, slowly) towards getting my own place to greater explore all this. Steps are being taken to deal with the gender issue but, as we all know, it's going to take a while.

[sandra-leigh]

If you are clinically depressed I don't believe there is evidence that your gender issues caused it, but it's common sense that worrying all day about this stuff could make you sad and trigger something like depression

It has been demonstrated that there are a minimum of 7 locations in the brain whose size or shape or density differs between cis-male and cis-female, and that brain scans of cis and transsexuals show that the transsexuals often have the form associated with their internal gender rather than with their chromosomal sex.

If there a person had a mix in the gendered locations, some locations typical of their chromosomal sex, and some locations more typical of their internal gender, what, in your estimation, would be the association with clinical depression? That clinical depression would be something quite independent, or that the mix of brain gendering could provide the sort of "brain in conflict with itself" signaling that could lead to clinical depression ?

[Michelle.M]

look on Lynn Conway's web page she has a list of successful trans women

I was about to mention the same thing. Definitely worth a read!

[Debglam]

Some of my more famous heros:

Jenny Boylan, Julia Serrano, Judge Victoria Kolakowski, Brynn Tannehill, Dallas Denny, etc. are all successful transitions. A number on this forum IMHO too.

Deb

[Angela Campbell]

For something positive and just to feel better go to this

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...p?199362-Bacon

Makes me feel better lol

[AllieSF]

What your therapist is trying to do is to replace those negative thought processes with good ones. They do that all the time in sports, especially with golf. Here you have some very experienced professional golfers who have a bad hole with bad luck, bad shots and bad attitude all thrown in. The best players learn how to forget about that hole as soon as they hand the putter to their caddie before marching off to the next hole. They start thinking about that next hole and how they are going to play it,. Sports psychologists teach their patients to do that all the time. They tell them to picture that perfect shot that they want to hit, forget about the water hazards or narrow fairways. They teach them how to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

I would guess that you therapist would be very happy with whatever types of positive stories your start thinking about. TS success stories might be too close to home, even though they are very good examples. We see and read about people overcoming very bad situations to be successful, and not just financial success. I would definitely include those in your 9. There are so many of them, from cancer and rape victims, to people losing their jobs and getting back to work and helping others out at the same time.

Sometimes an idle mind concentrates on thoughts that should be forgotten. taking on other mind using activities from work to volunteering (I would recommend something not connected with our LGBT world), will get your depressed mind off of your issues and focus them on something else that will be much more fulfilling for you. Good luck and keep working it.