When I was 11 or 12 years old, I discovered crossdressing by wearing some of my moms clothes. And I loved it!. But, I only tried it a few times and gave it up. But, almost a year ago, my feelings for it resurfaced like an old flame. And now I feel that flame burning bigger and brighter than ever before. I am to the point where I'm craving to crossdress. So much so that when I think about it I get week in the knees. I WANT TO BE A WOMAN SO BAD!!! But what's holding me back, aside from my wallet, is that I'm afraid of what risks I might be taking if I started. And also I consider myself a Christian. Crossdressing is considered a major form of lust, which is a bad sin in my religion. I want to crossdress so bad, but because I don't have money, because I'm afraid of the possible risks, and because of my religion, I'm too terrified to start.

What should I do?