Hello Dear Ones...

[Irisheyes]

Hiya, I hope all are well. As posted before, this site and my boyfriend are confusing to me at the present moment. There is no one in the world who needs my support, compassion, understanding, and love right now. I'm feeling like a failure today. For the most part life is always quite positive and my self esteem vey good. We fell in love and he was completely honest about being TG/CD, Sorry, as all these initials are not understood by me either. Anyhow, I am a Catholic girl and my church says this is wrong, however, the God of my understanding loves all his children. Well, perhaps this is too long. But, I just was wanting to know if anyone here has come to a great relationship with their partner and had many obstacles in their way? My questions are many and this makes me feel really alone right now. Thank you ever so much.~Hugs~

[RADER]

Welcome Irisheyes; You have come to the rite place.
I am Catholic also, and my wife and I where married for 19+ years, until her
recent passing.
I know how the church feels about changing ones gender, They do not condone it.
I like to wear womans clothes, I guess that makes me a "CDers".
I am firmly in the Closet, that is I do not leave the boundaries of my house.
It is not my intention to go out with men, (Another Church No-No) Or do anything
against the Law. My wife thought it was amusing, and at times she would tell me
to go put on a Bra when I was up-set about something.
I did not dress that much while I was working, but when I retired, I had more time
to "Play"
As you said, God loves all his Children, and if a man and his wife agree on what they are
comfortable with, where is the harm.
My wife always said I treaded her extra special; Her friends would ask her where she found
such a nice man. She would say from Heaven.
Rader

[MysticLady]

Hiya, I hope all are well. As posted before, this site and my boyfriend are confusing to me at the present moment. There is no one in the world who needs my support, compassion, understanding, and love right now. I'm feeling like a failure today.

I need your support. I would appreciate it if my wife was, a little more open minded. But, alas, she somewhat dense.

. Anyhow, I am a Catholic girl and my church says this is wrong, however, the God of my understanding loves all his children.

Sweetie, History repeats itself. Remember the Pharisees? They're back.

[Kathi Lake]

Yes, we can be an extra-large bucket of confusing - with a side of consternation!

I have to say your statement that there is no one in the world that needs your love, compassion, understanding and love is totally false. You are NOT a failure!

Girl, you are here. Do you know what that means? That means that you are trying to understand. That means you are trying to support and encourage your boyfriend. That means that you are giving of yourself - even though you may not understand and/or accept his dressing. Do you have any idea of how rare and beautiful that is? Do you know how many guys would give their favorite pair of heels (you know the ones - the pair that make your legs look awesome, while also feeling like a pair of sneakers ) for someone such as you?

If you are feeling alone, it might be because of our regular cycle of dressing and guilt. We feel horrible that we place this burden on you. We feel guilty not for our dressing, but for the embarrassment it causes you. What do guys do when we feel bad? We clam up. Because talking about your feelings? Yeah. That'll happen . . .

As for the church issue, if you look in the recent catechism, you won't see anything about crossdressing. Relax.

Kathi

[Kate Simmons]

Feel free to ask any questions Hon. The members here will give them our best shot.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Welcome to our family.

I am catholic as well. I was VERY concerned about my crossdressing and my religion. I talked with my pastor about this. He told me that crossdressing is OK with the church as long as it doesn't cause you to sin.

I have followed that montra ever since.

I hope this helps.

[SophieKitty]

What's important is your love

[Jenniferathome]

...There is no one in the world who needs my support, compassion, understanding, and love right now. I'm feeling like a failure today.

Irisheyes, you are wrong. Your boyfriend needs it even if he does not admit it. But you need it too. You can support yourself. You are part of the relationship too. Every cross dresser and SO here has faced bumps because of cross dressing. Some more, some less. You're not so unique. I have a great relationship with my wife after 20+ years of hiding from her. We talk a lot. It's important.

[MysticLady]

My wife always said I treaded her extra special; Her friends would ask her where she found
such a nice man. She would say from Heaven.
Rader

Awww Rader, you're just so special and so is the Mrs.


BTW Irish Eyes.......................What color are your eyes Sweetie? Blue or Green?

[Tracii G]

Welcome I'm sure you have come to the right place.
You are special and if I can help you in anyway I would be happy to.

[PattiAllison]

I too am Catholic and I don't see anything wrong with crossdressing. I have not yet gone to mass in a skirt, but it is definitely on my to do list.

[eire emma]

I'm Irish. I'm catholic. I'm a Crossdresser! So what. This is me. If I was your partner I'd love your support.

[Irisheyes]

Thank you, Emma.

Thank you, Patti. Well, I hope all will go well when this day occurs.

Thank you ever so much Tracii!

Hi MysticLady, my eyes are greenish blue with speckles of brown.

Thank you Jennifer so much!

Thank you, Sophie!

Yes this does help very much. Thank you.

You all seem so wonderful. Thank you, Kate!

Tears...Thank you, Kathi. Very thoughtful comments and they touched me deeply.~Hugs~

Thank you very much and good luck with your wife!!!

Awww~thank you Rader. This made me smile.

[Gypsy Sam]

Irisheyes,

Another Irish,Catholic,and Cross dresser here that wishes to express a point of view. Story is told of a address by the pope at the Vatican to the general population. The discourse is ascertaining the church's view on birth control. Afterwards the pope mixes with the crowd to give his blessing, and a local woman speaks to the pope and states "Heya popa you no playing the game, youa no make the rules." Let your conscience be your guide and stay in touch with the many here that have just come to know you.

[MysticLady]

Hi MysticLady, my eyes are greenish blue with speckles of brown.

Sounds like your eyes are very lovely.

[Lorileah]

*warning* this is not the religion area so let's not go there OK? Irish after you get 10 posts you can join the religion group and the FAB forum.
The only reason I am leaving this right now is IrishEyes needs to talk to people. But no religion OK> No more anyway
and welcome

[Barbra P]

Hi Irisheyes

You don’t get full-membership until you have posted ten times, then you get access to more of the forums, but you’ll get access to all of the forums as many are private forums. The FAB forum is such a private forum as it is for Wives and Significant Others (SO’s) and membership is by invitation only; FAB is short for Female At Birth. Once you have your ten post you will see the FAB listed and you can click on the “announcement” link and from there ask to be invited to join; I believe there is some sort of confirmation procedure to ensure you are who and what you say you are – crossdressing members are absolutely forbidden. As a member in good standing you’ll be able to complete your profile and you’ll get access to the Private Message (PM) system which allows members to send messages to each other that they may not feel comfortable posting for all to read.

I see in one of your posts that you haven’t been seeing your boyfriend for very long, something like two months. That’s not a very long time to establish much of a relationship and I can’t help but think that your “my love for him/her is so deep and true” may be rooted more in infatuation than true love. But on the chance that I’m wrong now is the time for you to find out all you can about TG/CD (Trans Gender/Cross Dresser) thing and to ask yourself if this is something you can live with, is this something that you’d be OK with in a husband, because crossdressing doesn’t go away. Your boyfriend may tell you he will stop, and he may even stop, but there are literally hundreds if not thousands of members here who can tell you that they stop, sometimes for years, but eventually they couldn’t resist the urge to once again cross dress.

I urge you join FAB and see what the Wives and SO’s on that forum have to say. Many of them have happy marriages and have had for many years, but for some it didn’t work out. I would also suggest that you read “My Husband Wears My Clothes: Crossdressing from the Perspective of a Wife” by Peggy Rudd. Dr. Rudd writes how she and her husband made their marriage work and actually made their marriage stronger because of his crossdressing. As an Ebook (Kindle or NOOK) it sells for around $8, less than $15 as a paperback. Give it to your boyfriend to read when you’re done with it as I suspect he will get something out of the book as well.

[Irisheyes]

Thank you very much Gypsy Sam! You all are so beautiful and kind.

[Beverley Sims]

Irisheyes,
Maybe you even reside in Ireland, I am of the same religious persuation and you should not let that stand in your way, there is no sin and only perceived shame from others around you. The church does not say it is wrong.
I have a partner and it is a mixed marriage, married in one of those other heathen churches and we have been married a long time.
I respect my religion but I do not let it stand in the way of my lifestyle or happiness.
You will learn to understand the various acronyms and others lifestyles if you keep asking and listening.
I wish you well.

[Irisheyes]

Thank you so much for the warning.

[kimdl93]

Hi Irisheyes. I was so saddened by that second sentence and confused by what follows. It seems that your BF certainly does need your support, compassion, understanding and love. What makes you feel otherwise?

To answer your question, yes, I have a great relationship with my wife. And of course, there have been obstacles along the way. Like your BF, I was open with her about my CDing early. That really hasn't been a big obstacle. When I started to dress more extensively and openly, she expressed some concerns, but to her credit, she recognized how important and significant this is to me and has been very accepting. The larger obstacles in life have been financial and sometimes just the result of stupid, insensitive acts on my part. I'm grateful for her ability to forgive and move ahead.

[Presh GG]

Hello Irisheyes,

I don't know how much or little of the forum you can see haveing been here awhile.
I'm a GG [ born a women] and have been married to a TG for almost 40years.
If you can see it , try reading the sticky [ at the top ] " sometimes I like it sometimes I don't " written by Marla, the wife of a forum member.

Now for my 2 cents... If your boyfriend has slept with Men [ plural ] He's not just TG . I'll be honest with you, take it very slow.

I wish you the best,
Presh GG

[Alice Torn]

I am half Irish, and cd part time, maybe twice a month. I can empathize about people saying cd ing is wrong. Am dealing with an authority telling me to stop. I guess i could tell that person, or institution, that gluttony is wrong, as many are obese. On day at a time, easy does it. First things first. This too shall pass. Life was never meant to be too easy.