I've been thinking about this particular subject for quite a while now and I saw Find myself crying... this morning on here. I was inspired to finally put these thoughts down and post.
I can remember growing up and being told the cliche "big boys don't cry" and I still cried in private well into my teens.
I remember going into the US Navy and I can say that my life in the Military wasn't stellar, but I can say that I hold no regrets about serving either.
I can also say that was where and when most of my blocks fell into place and it has taken me twenty years to begin to take down those walls, brick by brick, and discover the real me.
I have been walking this path since Spring and lately I also find myself crying at odd times when I am at home alone.
However, there is a period over the Summer, and there are odd times still, where I feel like I need to cry and can't.
It sometimes feels like I have forgotten how to let it go like I used to when I was younger.
I feel the emotions welling up and my whole body feels just like I am crying, but those darn tears just won't follow.
Yesterday I was reading a wonderfully written romance on my computer that was written by one of my best friends on here and when I neared the end I was in a snot slobbering broken dam cry and had to cuddle a stuffed animal to keep my tears from getting into my keyboard.
I had a hard time stopping because I felt my emotions and reasoning making circles that made me feel good to be crying like that.
The intensity was incredible, and I'm not on hormones yet.
After I was finally cried out it really hit me that as we walk the path that we do, we are constantly learning.
We learn how to dress and put on our makeup, we learn what makes us tick, and we learn how to shed those blocks that those around us as we grew up inadvertently or deliberately put into place within us.
Here's to another brick in the wall being removed.
Speaking of which, I now understand that Pink Floyd song more deeply than I ever had.
Hugs and Tears of Joy,
Liz
EDIT: By the way, I recommend watching that video that was posted by TeresaL if you want a good cry. Here's another link for that video of "Oh Sweet Lorrain".